Definitions by wordman55

shitkini 

This is what occurs when someone shits themself while wearing a diaper. This is most commonly executed by babies and senior citizens and can happen accidentally or intentionally. It absolutely must be a poop of high liquidity so that it covers the exact region normally covered by a bikini bottom.

When I brought that old lady home from the dive bar I was pleasantly surprised that she had her shitkini on. Once I took off her diaper I didn't even need to lube up to slip m'dick right on in.

shitkini by wordman55 January 12, 2014

on faith no wiper 

A bowel movement that is so solid and so smooth that you have the utmost confidence that it did not leave any remnants in your crack.... thus leaving you to assume that wiping would merely be a waste of time.

My poop was so great that I chalked it up as an on faith no wiper. Boy was I wrong, I should have wiped. Lucky for me I was wearing brown underwear.

on faith no wiper by wordman55 September 3, 2013

ashturbate 

The act of masturbating with a handful of a cremated person's ashes.

She was so hot before she died. If only I could get my hands on her cremated remains, I would definitely ashturbate.

ashturbate by wordman55 September 8, 2012

m'dick

An abbreviation for "My Dick". The opposite of "Your Dick".

All tha hoes be all up on me, they be jocking m'dick.

m'dick by wordman55 August 27, 2012

tampon wasteland

1. The furthest crevice of a woman's vagina. This is where tampons are sent accidentally and are stranded for eternity. Can be caused by having intercourse, or getting fingered or fistblasted when a tampon is in place.

2. The original inspiration for the song Baba O'Reilly by The Who, that refers to a "Teenage Wasteland". They changed the name of the song to make it appeal more to the masses.

Doctor: Hi, what brings you in today?

Patient: Well doctor, I forgot I had a tampon in and my boyfriend stuck his fist in my pussy. I was hoping you could help give my tampon wasteland a thorough cleaning.

Doctor: Oh, wow, I think I can help, but this may take a while. Assistant, please pass me a tire jack, 2 chopsticks and a high-powered dustbuster.

tampon wasteland by wordman55 August 27, 2012

cruke sex 

The art of forcefully inserting one's penis into someone who happens to be crying and puking simultaneously.

The other day I had the best of luck. I was walking down the road and stumbled upon a young woman who happened to be crying and puking. Of course I entered her, and let me just say that this was the best cruke sex I have ever had. She got tighter with each weeping heaving convulsion.

cruke sex by wordman55 August 26, 2012

fistblast 

The art of jamming an entire fist into an orifice, usually a vagina or asshole. When performed correctly, the "fistblaster" should be elbow-deep in the "fistblastee". While inside the orifice the fist should be shaken in a dice rolling motion, but more violently, with the purpose of inducing orgasm and shaking out any loose change and/or any other objects such as a lost and forgotten tampon.

When I see Superman fly fist first, I always think he must be on his way to fistblast Lois Lane. That whore can really take a pounding.

fistblast by wordman55 August 26, 2012