Definitions by wolfbait51

cruel and unusual punishment 

Back in the day,when parents were allowed to spank their children as means of last resort,occasionally a mother would make a wayward child go outside and select a willowy branch which would be used to "switch" the naked legs.Having to select the instrument of your punishment was considered cruel and unusual punishment.Sometime this was pre-punishment as indicated by "And just you wait until your dad gets home".

I would alway get a Forsythia branch as the device of my cruel and unusual punishment.

cruel and unusual punishment by wolfbait51 May 9, 2011

counterproductive advertising 

Those lame,local TV ads that drive customers away due to their amateurish,home-made,ridiculous,and downright embarrassing nature. Typically a low budget advertisement featuring the business owner dressed up as a clown,a king or a mattress. Often features the business owners kids or other family members.

Those Mister Mattress TV spots are counterproductive advertising.I'd never buy anything from that fool.

counterproductive advertising by wolfbait51 May 9, 2011

stinkmosis 

The uncanny ability of shit smell to transfer through 8-10 layers of quality toilet tissue to the wiper's hand,as if by osmosis. One tell-tale clue that you have acquired skinkmosis if if the wiping hand feels damp.

After pooping and wiping,I always do a stinkmosis sniff test to see if I need regular soap or germicidal gel or both.

stinkmosis by wolfbait51 May 9, 2011

Mr. Pimp

An mixed drink containing 6oz. Mr Pibb and 1&1/2oz. Goldschläger. Named for pimp's fondness of gold (teeth and jewelry)

I got hammered on my signature drink- Mr. Pimp.

Mr. Pimp by wolfbait51 May 9, 2011

lipstick dick 

An uncircumcised cock. So named because the penis can be retracted back into the foreskin much like lipstick being retracted into the tube. Can also refer to a dick that has lipstick stain on it.

I read once that Elvis was ashamed of his lipstick dick.

lipstick dick by wolfbait51 May 9, 2011

gummy musket 

A gummy musket is when a person who chews a lot of gum (Nicorette,Dentine,etc) routinely swallows it rather than spit it out when spent. Subsequent bowel movements often result in the gum getting matted in the ass hair as a result of wiping. Removal of embedded gum is difficult and painful.

I jerked out a gigantic tuft of ass hair on account of a gummy musket.

gummy musket by wolfbait51 May 8, 2011

Rice Krispy Treat 

When you're taking a crap and the turd makes a crackling sound as it exits your bunghole.

I dropped a Rice Krispy Treat in the thundermug this morning.It sounded like the turd was bubblewrapped.

Rice Krispy Treat by wolfbait51 May 8, 2011