ud40's definitions

Lampard

Wide of the mark; Hopelessly off target; A serious disappointment.

After Chelsea FC goalless football player Frank Lampard who was the most inaccurate player in the 2006 FIFA World Cup, with 24 shots of which only 11 were on target and 0 (that's ZERO) found the back of the net, including his penalty kick against Portugal in the quarter final.

Antonym: zidane

He shoots....... Goal kick...... What a Lampard.

That's the second Lampard he's kicked today.

Tiger Woods just hit the worst Lampard of his career, his ball is in the crowd.

If he carries on bowling Lampards like that, there'll be more Extras than Runs on the score sheet.

Keep out of the way, he's pissed as a newt, and his arrows are all Lampards.

by ud40 September 6, 2008

jizzbags

Scrotum. See also jizz

Stop scratching your jizzbags Pete, you need a jizz jar.

by ud40 July 21, 2006

siphon the python

To have a piss (rhyming slang)

I've had one too many beers, better go and siphon the python.

by ud40 July 21, 2006

bling kit

Set of bling accessories for your mobile phone, PDA, iPod, etc. May also include your car - chrome kit inside or out. The nastiest bling kits are generic and can be stuck onto anything, hence, bling-it-yourself.

Dress up your cellphone with these exclusive customizable bling kits.

Superstar Bling Kit. It's the hottest accessory for summer from Hollywood to the Hamptons!

Make your hermit crab’s shell sparkle! The new Hermit Crab Bling Kit comes with plenty of bling to accessorize 2 shells.

by ud40 July 22, 2006

As nissed as a pewt

Spoonerism variation of As pissed as a newt implying not only that the afflicted person cannot walk straight, but also that they cannot talk straight!

Fred's as nissed as a pewt, he's practically legless.

by ud40 March 11, 2005

As pissed as a newt

Too drunk to walk straight. Reference to the natural wobbling gait of a newt.

See also newted, pissed and As nissed as a pewt

Look at Mike, he's as pissed as a newt.

by ud40 March 11, 2005

newted

Mild slang for drunk, when the afflicted person cannot walk straight. Reference to the natural wobbling gait of a newt.

See also As pissed as a newt and As nissed as a pewt.

Look at John, he's totally newted.

by ud40 March 11, 2005