titwanker's definitions

titwank

The act of pleasuring oneself by thrusting the erect member between a generous pair of bristols. Typically concludes with the delivery of a pearl necklace.

Phwoaar! She's got a shirtfull. I'd love a good titwank in those.

by titwanker April 10, 2003

pissflaps

Beef curtains. In polite circles, used as a euphemism to avoid the more direct reference to cunt.

Fucking Jesus! That tart's skirt is showing her pissflaps.

by titwanker May 29, 2003

arsebandit

Male homosexual. A.K.A. knobjockey, turdburglar, shitstabber, pillowbiter, shirtlifter, brownhatter, ginger, iron, fucking bender.

Michael Barrymore? Someone ought to top that fucking murdering arsebandit.

by titwanker April 10, 2003

Motherfucker

One of only two obscene epithets (see also cocksucker) known by 98% of all living American citizens. The more concise and expressive "CUNT" is preferred by the rest of the English speaking cognoscenti.It conveys more emotion, and of couse, we have many more substitutes available than our war mongering cousins.

"George W. Bush is a retarded murdering motherfucker."
"No, George W. Bush is a retarded murdering CUNT who should be elected President of Iraq today and forced to serve two full terms. Cunting spunk-eating wankbag."

by titwanker May 29, 2003

tithead

English derogatory term for Police Constable. Derived from the shape of the standard issue bobby's helmet. That's 'helmet' as in hat.

Put yer chopper away. There's a tithead comin' round the corner.

by titwanker July 30, 2003

titwank

The mans entirely unselfish act of thrusting between a generous pair of bristols for sexual gratification. Usual result is referred to as a Pearl Necklace.

Phwoaar! She's got a shirtfull. I couldn't half fancy a titwank in those.

by titwanker April 10, 2003

Knob End

Properly, the bell-end or helmet. The purple piece exposed above Kojak's turtle-neck. Used to convey displeasure at any offending person.

Beckham, you cunting useless knob-end.

by titwanker April 10, 2003