titwanker's definitions

titwank

The act of pleasuring oneself by thrusting the erect member between a generous pair of bristols. Typically concludes with the delivery of a pearl necklace.

Phwoaar! She's got a shirtfull. I'd love a good titwank in those.

by titwanker April 10, 2003

pearl necklace

Descriptive of the glistening deposit on a female's upper chest immediately following the climax of a successful titwank.

See that slapper over there? I gave her a pearl necklace last night.

by titwanker April 10, 2003

cuntlugs

I don't know if it has a specific meaning, it just sounds good when you shout it at someone you don't like.

Beckham, pass the fucking ball, cuntlugs!

by titwanker April 10, 2003

arsebandit

Male homosexual. A.K.A. knobjockey, turdburglar, shitstabber, pillowbiter, shirtlifter, brownhatter, ginger, iron, fucking bender.

Michael Barrymore? Someone ought to top that fucking murdering arsebandit.

by titwanker April 10, 2003

toerag

More commanly used in the sixties and seventies on Britcoms before trms like plonker and wanker superseded it.

You dirty little toerag

by titwanker April 11, 2003

slapper

In the North of England, this describes a worn-out dirtbox, usually one that's spent half a life selling it. Almost exclusively used with the adjective 'old'.

Look at that old slapper. I wouldn't touch her with yours.

by titwanker May 29, 2003

Motherfucker

One of only two obscene epithets (see also cocksucker) known by 98% of all living American citizens. The more concise and expressive "CUNT" is preferred by the rest of the English speaking cognoscenti.It conveys more emotion, and of couse, we have many more substitutes available than our war mongering cousins.

"George W. Bush is a retarded murdering motherfucker."
"No, George W. Bush is a retarded murdering CUNT who should be elected President of Iraq today and forced to serve two full terms. Cunting spunk-eating wankbag."

by titwanker May 29, 2003