wanker

Definitively, an onanist, one (usually expected to be male) who enjoys unassisted sexual gratification. Colloquially, anybody of whom you have a low opinion.
Tony Blair? Fucking gutless, worthless, complete and utter WANKER!!
by titwanker April 10, 2003
Get the wanker mug.

arsebandit

Male homosexual. A.K.A. knobjockey, turdburglar, shitstabber, pillowbiter, shirtlifter, brownhatter, ginger, iron, fucking bender.
Michael Barrymore? Someone ought to top that fucking murdering arsebandit.
by titwanker April 10, 2003
Get the arsebandit mug.

titwank

The act of pleasuring oneself by thrusting the erect member between a generous pair of bristols. Typically concludes with the delivery of a pearl necklace.
Phwoaar! She's got a shirtfull. I'd love a good titwank in those.
by titwanker April 10, 2003
Get the titwank mug.

titwank

The mans entirely unselfish act of thrusting between a generous pair of bristols for sexual gratification. Usual result is referred to as a Pearl Necklace.
Phwoaar! She's got a shirtfull. I couldn't half fancy a titwank in those.
by titwanker April 10, 2003
Get the titwank mug.

pearl necklace

Descriptive of the glistening deposit on a female's upper chest immediately following the climax of a successful titwank.
See that slapper over there? I gave her a pearl necklace last night.
by titwanker April 10, 2003
Get the pearl necklace mug.

wankfest

A Festival of Wank. A Proliferation of toss. An excess of jizz. A massive accumulation of useless remnants resulting from a bunch of wankers tossing all over their keyboards.
UrbanDictionary is a total wankfest.
by Titwanker May 22, 2004
Get the wankfest mug.

tithead

English derogatory term for Police Constable. Derived from the shape of the standard issue bobby's helmet. That's 'helmet' as in hat.
Put yer chopper away. There's a tithead comin' round the corner.
by titwanker July 31, 2003
Get the tithead mug.