127 definitions by thewesthamfan

glansfly supreme

to lie underneath one's mosquito net and smother one's glans with jam. then holding the foreskin (if any) pulled back, remove the net thus allowing a myriad of flies to enter and suck the jam from the glans until a climax is reached.

alec hated the hot steamy nights until kevin introduced him to glansfly supreme

by thewesthamfan December 9, 2003

penis pushups

laying face down, to push up and lower one's body rythmically, using just the erect penis

the keeper, looking ashen faced, shouted "Trevor, forget those penis pushups, get out of that cage NOW, the gorilla's coming."

by thewesthamfan November 12, 2003

arsehole lucky

extra lucky. such as when one falls into a trough of pigshit and finds a bag of gold coins in there.

"that osama bin geezer must be arsehole lucky not to be caught yet" (as at 18 Dec'03)

by thewesthamfan December 18, 2003

flap crapper

a man that derives sexual gratification from defecating on his partner's labia

she discovered colin was a flap crapper when she woke one morning to find she was having intercourse with a gigantic turd

by thewesthamfan January 13, 2004

trouting

to masturbate using a large fish

george next door got a job in a fish canning factory so he could sidle off to the bog in his break and have a trouting session. he would then sneak the used fish back on to the production line.

by thewesthamfan December 8, 2003

travellers

pikeys, gypsies, a clever way of allowing hostelry owners etc. to hang racist signs without actually being racist.

"quick Alec" screamed his young friend. "get that 'NO TRAVELLERS' sign up, here come a load of gippoes."
gippo - "gravel yur droive zur?"
alec - "ckoff!"

by thewesthamfan November 12, 2003

muffin the mule

rape cunnilingus, or cunnilingus against the will

Oi kev, stop that at once! muffin the mule is strictly illegal

by thewesthamfan October 27, 2003