I gave that retard a swirly!

Wife: “Have you put the sheets out to dry and put the towels on?”
Husband: “Yes. You know I am a grown adult also used to live alone so you do not need to micro marrige me”

I always get swirlies because the jocks of the soccer team want to punish me for being a nerd. During the whole day after a swirly my hair is wet and when the toilet had poop in it, i smell shit. But I am getting used to it because anyways I still have a lot of years before graduating.

The popular kids have me many swirlys in high school, finding it amusing to hold my head in the toilet and flush it repeatedly. One time they got six people to go pee in the same toilet without flushing before dunking me repeatedly and using my hair like a toilet brush. I've only ever had one chocolate swirly (where someone poops in the toilet and doesn't flush before giving the swirly) and it was the worst experience of my life!!

I was expecting high school to be filled with people giving each other swirlies and pushing people into lockers.

Sometimes when I j/o and I'm feeling swirly I'll put a finger in my butt.

Person 1: You feeling swirly?
Person 2: Nah, I'm just going to browse reddit for the day as usual...

"Hey bro you wanna get swirly tonight?" "I was so swirly last night I saw a horse on a skate board!"