theWestHamfan's definitions

uncontrollable flesh

a penis that suffers with spontaneous erections

"yes, your honour, I saw him running through Epping Forest, in broad daylight, with 10 inches of uncontrollable flesh, sticking out in front of him. It resembled a lance."

by theWestHamfan October 29, 2003

muffin the mule

rape cunnilingus, or cunnilingus against the will

Oi kev, stop that at once! muffin the mule is strictly illegal

by theWestHamfan October 26, 2003

pube tube

vagina, bearded oyster

"put some lube on your pube tube rube, here comes my dum dum bullet"

by theWestHamfan December 29, 2003

smudger

the nickname for a person named Smith

"there goes Smudger again, always after 'is 'oggins"

by theWestHamfan October 22, 2003

pissing

urinating, emptying one's bladder.

"no, your honour" "I wasn't exposing myself to the bobby moore stand" "I was jus' pissing."

by theWestHamfan December 31, 2003

faece fungus

the white fungus that appears on a turd that has been on the floor too long

colin came over ashen-faeced. "blimey, cole" exclaimed kevin, "it's only
faece fungus. I'll pick it up after the football"

by theWestHamfan December 25, 2003

flat back four

to play soccer having the defence arranged with four players in a straight line

"get back in line Ferdinand" shouted Fergie. "we're playing a flat back four"

by theWestHamfan November 5, 2003