telephony's definitions

toliet

Very common misspelling of the word toilet.

When the misspelling is input into a computer speech synthesis program, it can come out sounding like "to'LEET", "TOL'ee'et" (like Juliet from Romeo & Juliet), or "toe'LYE'et" depending on the speech synthesis program used.

For example, it sounds like "toe'LYE'et" on the SAM speech synthesizer for the Commodore 64 computer.

Hey Homer!!!
Are you flushing those springs down our toliet?

by Telephony December 14, 2011

bloody hatchet wound

Slang term for the female cunt; esp. if that pussy's owner is on the rag.

Don't fuck Jessica tonight; she has a bloody hatchet wound and you'll get your dick covered in her menstruation!!!

by Telephony September 30, 2018

public enema number one

Very similar to "public enemy number one"; perhaps a little worse (how much worse can it get?!?)

Jayden is public enema number one for stealing the food from the foodbank and throwing it into a burning dipsty dumpster!!! Man, what a class A-1 prick!!!

by Telephony January 24, 2011

Master Bator

A Master Bator is somebody who, because of the sheer number of times they have masturbated (choked the chicken, administered corporal punishment to a primate {spanked the monkey}, jacked off, beat off, jerked off, beat their meat, whacked off, played pocket pool, wanked off, etc.), has become an expert at it -- a true master masturbator (or Master Bator).

Works better when written or typed vs. when spoken.

Hozay hasn't gotten any tail in such a long time that he's become a true-to-life Master Bator!!!

by Telephony August 22, 2012

Sataned eggs

They're like Deviled eggs, but when secretly made with copious amounts of hot sauce they become hellishly, unbearably hot. Truly, they've become SATANED EGGS!

Holy shit Daniel! These aren't Deviled eggs, they're Sataned eggs! PASS ME THE MILK, HURRY!!!

by Telephony February 21, 2018

On the Rag Again

A phoney-bologna fake made up song, sung to the Willy Nelson song, "On the Road Again".

♪On the rag again!♪
♪I just can't wait to go on the rag again!!♪

♪The life I love is making music with my (menstrual) pads♪
♪And I can't wait to go on the rag again!!!♪

♪On the rag again,♪
♪See those bloody tampons swirling down the toliet!♪

♪She's a fucked-up friend♪
♪Keeps insisting that those panty liners keep coming...keep coming!♪

♪On the rag again,♪
♪I just can't wait to go on the rag again,♪
♪The life I love is making music with the head,♪
♪And I can't wait to go on the rag again!!!♪

by Telephony July 28, 2016

carperpetuation

The act of, when vaccuming, running over a piece of lint or string eight or nine times with the vacuum cleaner, picking it up, examining it, then throwing it back down to give the vacuum one last chance.
Repeat as frequently as necessary.

Linda!
You're doing carperpetuation again!
Just take that fucking piece of string over to the wastepaperbasket or flush it away in the shitbowl instead of pissing away the whole goddamn day trying to vaccum it up!

by Telephony August 6, 2014