Definitions by telephony

asshaberdasher 

A true buttsnoipe who leads a number of surrounding individuals into total asshaberdashery.

{At a large house party}

Mike: See that asshaberdasher over there?
Linda: Yeah, he's goading the crowd into total and complete asshattery! What a fucking buttsnoipe!!!

asshaberdasher by Telephony November 27, 2011

candiosity 

A word used to indicate a piñata's level of candy fill.

Originally used on the now-defunct television program, "Viva Piñata".

That piñata is stuffed to maximum candiosity; it almost exploded just hanging there!!!

candiosity by Telephony November 27, 2011

coffee penus

When you have to uranate every five or ten minutes because you've been drinking too much coffee.

(Rick): {dialing telephone}: beep beep boop beep boop boop beep

{ring...ring...ring...}

(Rick's boss): Hello, this is National Plastics Conglomerate, how may I help you?

(Rick): Hey boss, can't come in today. Got coffee penus and I'd never make the 40-minute commute without pissing all over myself.

(Rick's boss): YOU'RE FIRED!!! ***CLICK!!!***

coffee penus by Telephony November 13, 2011

Cherry

The hot (burning) end of a cigarette, "J", or bowl (pipe).

(Jim): Harry, you just nocked the cherry off your smoke and it's burning a hole in my rug!!!
(Harry): O FUCK!!! Sorry dude!!! {stomps the smouldering rug out with his shoe and relights his smoke}.

Cherry by Telephony October 12, 2011

ear whipping 

A sermon; especially one administered at a soup kitchen prior to food being served.

Bum #1: Hey, let's go to the Bread of Life mission tonight for dinner!

Bum #2: NO, NOT THERE!!! They gave an ear whipping almost four hours long last night for a scoop of mystery meat and a spoonful of smashed potatoes with lumpy gravy on them!!!

ear whipping by Telephony October 4, 2011

FV¢K YOURSELF 

Means the exact same thing a "fuck yourself"; but bypasses the onboard censors found on many internet BBSs.

If you're thinking about getting on my toilet muscle about the damn unmade bed, then please go FV¢K yourself. I know the bed's unmade!!!

FV¢K YOURSELF by Telephony August 22, 2011

p-whipped 

A nicer way of using the word pussywhipped -- this way of spelling it also bypasses the onboard censors found on many BBSs.

Jeff was so p-whipped, he couldn't even uranate without his domineering wife knowing about it.

p-whipped by Telephony August 16, 2011