telephony's definitions

paper toliets

What some children call toliet paper (bungwipe, buttwipe, TP, etc.)

Mommy, the paper toliets are out again!

by Telephony January 5, 2014

Class A-1 prick

Not to be confused with a regular prick (or a fucktard, dickweed, assrat bastard, etc.); a mofo who has reached the status of Class A-1 prick is a real waste of bungwipe and really needs to be exterminated like the bug he or she really is.

Jason is such a Class A-1 prick for bringing a ghetto blaster to church and blasting Slayer music out of it!!! :-O

by Telephony May 6, 2012

shorty

Another name for a snipe -- that is -- a cigarrette that's been extinguished in an ashtray (or by other means) that's still long enough to be smokeable. You can also harvest the tobacco out of shorties, put the tobacco in a plastic baggie, and use it to make a rollie (two shorties should yield sufficient tobacco to make one rollie).

{Homeless guy}: Hey Stan! Check that sand urn in front of the municipal building; I hear that a lot more than just a single shorty can be gotten there -- in fact, a lot of snipes should be in there after lunchtime!!!

by Telephony August 27, 2012

overfloaded

How some children say the word, "overflowed".

{Craig}: Mom, the toilet is overfloaded!
{Mom}: Hang on honey, I'll be right there.

by Telephony August 17, 2021

red rug

What the famous red carpet actually is -- a rug rather than a carpet.

A carpet, by definition, is a permanent cloth floor covering; while a rug is a temporary floor covering which can be removed & replaced whenever desired.

So when they're "rolling out the red carpet" for the Oscars, they're actually rolling out the red rug because it is rolled back up & removed when the awards ceremony has finished.

The “Little Women” director and Baumbach, her partner — and the director of “Marriage Story” — arrived on the Oscars red rug with a whopping 12 nominations between them.

by Telephony February 9, 2020

P-O-D-D-Y

A fake, fictional, phoney-bologna song, sung to the tune of the campfire song, "B-I-N-G-O".

♪ There was a john that had a name and Poddy was its name-o! ♪
♪ P-O-D-D-Y ♪
♪ P-O-D-D-Y ♪
♪ P-O-D-D-Y ♪
♪ And Poddy was its name-o! ♪

by Telephony July 23, 2018

bungsnoipe

A slightly nicer way of calling somebody a buttsnoipe (an assclown, asshat, asshole etc,)

That fartknocker is such a bungsnoipe for sneaking fish food flakes into the stroganoff at the buffet the other night.

by Telephony January 5, 2011