telephony's definitions

urinepenis

Plain and simple: a peacock.
"Pea" sounds like, "pee" and, "cock" is self-explanatory.

Didja hear that the zoo has a new urinepenis on display?

by Telephony December 11, 2020

dick drugs

What some people call, "dick medication" -- that is, drugs like Viagra, Cialis, Levitra, etc. designed to give men with perpetually limp dicks the ability to get a boner.

{Husoos}: Hey Hoolio, don't forget to take some dick drugs to work with you. Chug one of those bitches down when you leave so that you can cornhole me when you get home.

{Hoolio}: Alright, got 'em in my pocket. Love ya Husoos!

by Telephony February 26, 2017

asscabaret

A place where asshaberdashers go to knock back a few drinks, shoot some stick, listen to music, etc. while still acting like total butt wagons with no fear of being 86ed for their obnoxious behaviour.

{asshaberdasher #1}: Hey, let's go to the asscabaret tonight and get totally shitfaced.
{asshaberdasher #2}: Sounds like a plan, butt monkey! Let's go!!!

by Telephony July 18, 2020

mouthdouche

What some people call mouthwash -- a liquid (frequently composed of a high percentage of alcohol which often causes a burning sensation) that you swirl around inside your mouth and spit into the sink approx. half a minute later.

{Greg}: Suze, can you please pick up a bottle of mouthdouche while you're at the store?
{Susan}: Sure thing Greggo!!!

by Telephony November 14, 2018

faggetaboudit

How somebody on the east coast (such as New York city) might pronounce the phrase, "forget about it".

{Ronald}: Hey Lisa, check out the Statue of Liberty!!!
{Lisa}: Faggetaboudit Ron! I've already dseen it a thousand times!!!

by Telephony June 7, 2013

douchenoozle

A common misspelling of the word douchenozzle; the misspelling became the norm at a BBS about TV commercials we all hate; it then became rather commonplace.

Dave is such a fucking douchenoozle for stuffing a roll of paper towelling and three boxes of tampons down our toliet bowl.

by Telephony December 6, 2011

spit diaper

A partial facemask put on prisoners who have a nasty tendency to spit or hawk loogies at the arresting officer(s), courtroom inhabitants (judge, bailiff, prosecuting attorneys, jury members, court reporter, etc.), prison employees, and so on. Spit diapers fit relatively tightly over the mouth & nose of the offending spitter, and are fastened to the face with thin elastic bands that fit around the ears.

Eduardo kept spitting at the cops, so they gave him a spit diaper right after he had his mugshot.

by Telephony December 27, 2015