tariqk's definitions
Finally take into account the one final factor that transforms your brilliant plan/strategy into the terrible idiotic clusterfuck that it truly is.
Anarch: …I may have made a slight error in my calculations.
Punchline: When you were adding the numbers up, did you remember to carry the stupid?
Anarch: YES! …no.
Punchline: When you were adding the numbers up, did you remember to carry the stupid?
Anarch: YES! …no.
by tariqk December 5, 2021
Get the Carry the Stupid mug.A condition that affects folks who become CEOs, CFOs, COOs, CSOs, and other kinds of C-Suite officers, where their skill levels in common, every day tasks (and sometimes their morality and empathy) become severely impaired, as the sudden rush of power, stress and sometimes crushing sense of responsibility (hahahahah, okay, just kidding, it's copious amounts of alcohol and drugs like cocaine) start damaging the parts of the brain involved in figuring out consequences and making estimates, because planning around consequences and making accurate estimates are for the little people and hoi polloi.
Yes, I know he's an ACCA-certified accountant, and you just saw him flub trying to figure out how much tip he was supposed to pay, but you gotta understand… he got promoted to CFO six months ago, and what you're seeing is C-Suite Brain Damage in action.
by tariqk December 11, 2018
Get the C-Suite Brain Damage mug.Describes a mythical age, where a plague didn't ravage the world, the Internet and news weren't full of nutters, no one was setting the planet on fire for stupid, ugly, JPEGs, and everything made sense (circa: before 2016).
by tariqk March 7, 2022
Get the 10,000 years ago mug.Like “reinventing the wheel”, but for techbros.
More precisely, it is to spend an incredible amount of money, time and mental effort to finally come to a solution that was actually figured out decades or even centuries ago.
Bonus points if you end up making yet another app using the blockchain, so that in order for you to use it, you need to put your SSN on a distributed public ledger so that it can get pwned by Russian hackers.
More precisely, it is to spend an incredible amount of money, time and mental effort to finally come to a solution that was actually figured out decades or even centuries ago.
Bonus points if you end up making yet another app using the blockchain, so that in order for you to use it, you need to put your SSN on a distributed public ledger so that it can get pwned by Russian hackers.
“Ok, pitch it.”
“Ok so like basically we get people to pool their money together into one thing and then invest that thing into Bitcoin and use the profits from that investment to pay everyone involved once a month, and then when someone dies their portion of the investment goes to the other participants.”
“…you just described a tontine.”
“A what?”
“A tontine. The thing you're describing. It's been around since the 17th century. Are you reinventing the bus again?”
“No way, man! This one's different, this one uses JIT-compiled vue.js and blockchain smart contracts to keep track of the system!”
“Brilliant. Here's a million dollars, we're gonna be rich!”
“Ok so like basically we get people to pool their money together into one thing and then invest that thing into Bitcoin and use the profits from that investment to pay everyone involved once a month, and then when someone dies their portion of the investment goes to the other participants.”
“…you just described a tontine.”
“A what?”
“A tontine. The thing you're describing. It's been around since the 17th century. Are you reinventing the bus again?”
“No way, man! This one's different, this one uses JIT-compiled vue.js and blockchain smart contracts to keep track of the system!”
“Brilliant. Here's a million dollars, we're gonna be rich!”
by tariqk November 21, 2022
Get the reinventing the bus mug.Chief Information Officer. If you read the industry publications, Chief Information Officers are at the vanguard of today's information-centric workplace. In practice, it's basically some poor schlub who's been given a fancier “IT Manager” hat, who's been given the responsibility to fix the dumpster fire that is your IT Systems, by giving “suggestions” that are roundly ignored by the Board while the CEO and CFO pilfer the coffers to buy hookers and blow, and to play the role of fall guy when the whole scam collapses.
by tariqk December 12, 2018
Get the CIO mug.A boundary that forms between what an expert or a genius has every right to say what they like because they are unquestionably an expert about the thing they are talking about, and what they have absolutely no right to comment on because they are so invariably full of shit about it.
Sophopauses may be bound in time — say, for example, after a traumatic or life changing event, after they've smoked a blunt or drank too much alcohol, or may be bound in (metaphorical) space — someone may be completely insightful about certain topics, only to be so fucking stupid in other things.
From the Greek sophía, and the Latin pausa, in the same tradition of English that mashes Greek and Latin words together, because everything is horrible and nothing makes sense.
Sophopauses may be bound in time — say, for example, after a traumatic or life changing event, after they've smoked a blunt or drank too much alcohol, or may be bound in (metaphorical) space — someone may be completely insightful about certain topics, only to be so fucking stupid in other things.
From the Greek sophía, and the Latin pausa, in the same tradition of English that mashes Greek and Latin words together, because everything is horrible and nothing makes sense.
Talking to Dr. Roberts about world politics, race, evolutionary psychology, Bitcoin, or social sciences, while he's drunk? That's a bad move, because you'll cross his sophopause at Mach 3. The man is a brilliant statistician, but hoo boy does he believe in the weirdest conspiracy theories.
by tariqk December 11, 2018
Get the sophopause mug.Roughly but not exactly.
Like, when you say pareto-80 you don't exactly mean 80 percent, you really mean, roughly four out of five. Pareto-20 means one out of five, and saying that a scheme will likely fail at pareto-5 means it'll go okay so long as we don't roll a natural 1.
Like, when you say pareto-80 you don't exactly mean 80 percent, you really mean, roughly four out of five. Pareto-20 means one out of five, and saying that a scheme will likely fail at pareto-5 means it'll go okay so long as we don't roll a natural 1.
So, like, 20 percent of respondents say that—
That's bullshit, you pulled that number out of your ass.
Pareto-20, man. You're right, it's... (checks notes) closer to 18 percent, but that's not much of a difference, is it?
That's bullshit, you pulled that number out of your ass.
Pareto-20, man. You're right, it's... (checks notes) closer to 18 percent, but that's not much of a difference, is it?
by tariqk July 13, 2022
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