tariqk's definitions
Like “reinventing the wheel”, but for techbros.
More precisely, it is to spend an incredible amount of money, time and mental effort to finally come to a solution that was actually figured out decades or even centuries ago.
Bonus points if you end up making yet another app using the blockchain, so that in order for you to use it, you need to put your SSN on a distributed public ledger so that it can get pwned by Russian hackers.
More precisely, it is to spend an incredible amount of money, time and mental effort to finally come to a solution that was actually figured out decades or even centuries ago.
Bonus points if you end up making yet another app using the blockchain, so that in order for you to use it, you need to put your SSN on a distributed public ledger so that it can get pwned by Russian hackers.
“Ok, pitch it.”
“Ok so like basically we get people to pool their money together into one thing and then invest that thing into Bitcoin and use the profits from that investment to pay everyone involved once a month, and then when someone dies their portion of the investment goes to the other participants.”
“…you just described a tontine.”
“A what?”
“A tontine. The thing you're describing. It's been around since the 17th century. Are you reinventing the bus again?”
“No way, man! This one's different, this one uses JIT-compiled vue.js and blockchain smart contracts to keep track of the system!”
“Brilliant. Here's a million dollars, we're gonna be rich!”
“Ok so like basically we get people to pool their money together into one thing and then invest that thing into Bitcoin and use the profits from that investment to pay everyone involved once a month, and then when someone dies their portion of the investment goes to the other participants.”
“…you just described a tontine.”
“A what?”
“A tontine. The thing you're describing. It's been around since the 17th century. Are you reinventing the bus again?”
“No way, man! This one's different, this one uses JIT-compiled vue.js and blockchain smart contracts to keep track of the system!”
“Brilliant. Here's a million dollars, we're gonna be rich!”
by tariqk November 21, 2022
Get the reinventing the busmug. The problem when you own a space that if you let certain groups of people in, such as, in this example, Nazis, you'll literally drive everyone else away from your space, so that what started off as a normal, ordinary space will become, essentially, a Nazi bar.
It's not only Nazis — it can be fascists, white supremacists, meth-heads, PUAs, cryptocurrency fanboys — some groups will be so odious to others that they will drive everyone else from your space, so the only solution that you can enact is to ensure that they don't come to your place, even if they're nice and polite and "follow your rules", because while they might, their friends won't, those friends have a history of driving away other people from other spaces.
It's not only Nazis — it can be fascists, white supremacists, meth-heads, PUAs, cryptocurrency fanboys — some groups will be so odious to others that they will drive everyone else from your space, so the only solution that you can enact is to ensure that they don't come to your place, even if they're nice and polite and "follow your rules", because while they might, their friends won't, those friends have a history of driving away other people from other spaces.
Yeah, he kicked you out of the Discord, but he has the Nazi Bar Problem to deal with — he can't just let you in, you and your friends would drive away his other server members.
by tariqk December 5, 2021
Get the Nazi Bar Problemmug. To actually take into account the costs of retaining a Great Man in any organization. Costs include the number of people said Great Man drives out of the organization due to their behavior, the amount of legal fees that they could expose said organization to due to anti-harassment lawsuits made by other members, organizational reputation loss, etc.
Clarence: …and that's why I recommend that the board does not terminate Mr. Stallman's role in our organization.
Kelly: Okay, go back to slide 15…
Clarence: Got you. What's your question, Kelly?
Kelly: I was afraid of that. You forgot to carry the great man. What happens when you do that, Clarence?
Clarence: Oh, right. Let me put that in the spreadsheet… huh. I guess we should fire Mr. Stallman's ass, then.
Kelly: I was afraid so.
Kelly: Okay, go back to slide 15…
Clarence: Got you. What's your question, Kelly?
Kelly: I was afraid of that. You forgot to carry the great man. What happens when you do that, Clarence?
Clarence: Oh, right. Let me put that in the spreadsheet… huh. I guess we should fire Mr. Stallman's ass, then.
Kelly: I was afraid so.
by tariqk December 5, 2021
Get the Carry the Great Manmug. Describes a mythical age, where a plague didn't ravage the world, the Internet and news weren't full of nutters, no one was setting the planet on fire for stupid, ugly, JPEGs, and everything made sense (circa: before 2016).
by tariqk March 7, 2022
Get the 10,000 years agomug. Originating from video games, it stands for non-player character. It has a double-edged meaning:
To the person using the term, they are advertising that they have a better sense of perspective and understanding to the world than other people in society.
To everyone listening to that person use that term unironically, they know that the person has a massive empathy deficit and is at best woefully emotionally under-developed, and at worst a raging sociopath.
To the person using the term, they are advertising that they have a better sense of perspective and understanding to the world than other people in society.
To everyone listening to that person use that term unironically, they know that the person has a massive empathy deficit and is at best woefully emotionally under-developed, and at worst a raging sociopath.
“What about this dude, Josh Smith?”
“Yeah… I had a quick conversation with him for a few minutes, and he used ‘NPC’ unironically.”
“Oof, that's bad. Maybe he's young?”
“He also referred to women as ‘females’.”
“Oh, no. Okay, bin him. At the very least we'll save on the sexual harassment lawsuits.”
“Yeah… I had a quick conversation with him for a few minutes, and he used ‘NPC’ unironically.”
“Oof, that's bad. Maybe he's young?”
“He also referred to women as ‘females’.”
“Oh, no. Okay, bin him. At the very least we'll save on the sexual harassment lawsuits.”
by tariqk November 28, 2022
Get the NPCmug. Finally take into account the one final factor that transforms your brilliant plan/strategy into the terrible idiotic clusterfuck that it truly is.
Anarch: …I may have made a slight error in my calculations.
Punchline: When you were adding the numbers up, did you remember to carry the stupid?
Anarch: YES! …no.
Punchline: When you were adding the numbers up, did you remember to carry the stupid?
Anarch: YES! …no.
by tariqk December 5, 2021
Get the Carry the Stupidmug. Chief Information Officer. If you read the industry publications, Chief Information Officers are at the vanguard of today's information-centric workplace. In practice, it's basically some poor schlub who's been given a fancier “IT Manager” hat, who's been given the responsibility to fix the dumpster fire that is your IT Systems, by giving “suggestions” that are roundly ignored by the Board while the CEO and CFO pilfer the coffers to buy hookers and blow, and to play the role of fall guy when the whole scam collapses.
by tariqk December 12, 2018
Get the CIOmug.