stephen w. thomas's definitions

what the monkey

An expression of shock pioneered in West Sussex churches as a way to avoid swearing when surprised. Has now spread and is a general phrase used when shocked. Can be shortened for instant messaging to WTM.

"Johnny, I'm pregnant."
"What the monkey!?"

by Stephen W. Thomas October 12, 2004

fartoholic

Someone who is addicted to their own fart smell, and so farts as often as possible.

'Stan, you're a real fartoholic'
'So?'
'You stink.'

by Stephen W. Thomas May 9, 2005

Brightonshire

The collective counties of West and East Sussex.

"I went down to Brightonshire the other day. Twas sunny like the windfart.

by Stephen W. Thomas May 9, 2005

crabbage

1) A pincered vegetable.
2) A crab salad.

1) 'I wish I was a crabbage,
I'd play the whole day long,
And although I would have no legs
I'd live inside a thong.'
2) 'One crabbage please, but hold back on the crab. And the salad.

by Stephen W. Thomas May 9, 2005

wondabulous

A mixture between 'wonderful' and 'fabulous'. Used to make your miserable lives just a tad better.

'That steak was wondabulous!'
'Not nearly as wondabulous as the ketchup.'

by Stephen W. Thomas May 13, 2005

pokes my hemorroids!

The direct opposite of rocks my socks.

'Avril Lavigne, Jamster and the New Mini all poke my hemorroids.'

by Stephen W. Thomas July 12, 2005

West Hoathly

A small village in Sussex which is actually the one point where our dimension and the 53rd dimension meet. If the church door is opened and shut three time fast it takes you through to a dimension where trees are overlords of Earth. This cause much confusion on Sunday mornings.

'Damn that West Hoathly church door.'

by Stephen W. Thomas May 13, 2005