smellybaptist's definitions

Carlos Mencia

A one-shtick, fat, moronic "comedian". If Comedy Central outlawed the use of the phrase "DE DA DE", he would be mowing people's lawns where he belongs.

I think Carlos Mencia is funny, so I probably have Autism.

by SmellyBaptist September 28, 2006

Hawthorne Heights

Commonly thought of as a band, Hawthorne Heights is actually a giant sack of fecal matter disguised as a band.

What is this flaming bag of Hawthorne Heights doing on my front porch? *stomps*

by SmellyBaptist September 27, 2006

carpe penis

A semi-Latin word that you can use to make your friends (who hopefully do not know Latin) think you are deep and funny. It's also a great pickup line to use in bars and clubs.

"Yo bitch, my motto is "Carpe Penis"; "Seize the penis"

"Omg ily stick it in me.

by smellybaptist July 25, 2007

The Da Vinci Code

As I said in the Dan Brown entry, this book was based upon the book Holy Blood, Holy Grail, written in 1982. And it pisses me the fuck off every time some idiot sees the movie and thinks they are a fucking Religious Scholar, when they don't even know Dan Brown wasn't the first guy to say that Jesus was married to MM and they had kids, and the decedents walk among us today. Dan Brown is just a shitty fiction writer, whose books read like screenplays for a movie, and to sell more books, he copied someone else's ideas and made it into a fiction book because he's a no talent hack.

I saw The Da Vinci Code in theatres, now I think I'm an expert on Religion, but really, I'm just a moron.

by SmellyBaptist August 22, 2006

Motley Crue

A better band than you and your gay little friends could hope to start.

Motley Crue was the best band in the 80s.

by SmellyBaptist September 27, 2006

Screamo

The worst genre of music ever created. It takes absolutely no talent to be a singer for a Screamo band. All you have to do if you want to be a Screamo singer is bend over, pull down your pants, have one of your friends hold a microphone to your mouth, and another one violently shove a pineapple inside your rectum, and bam, you're a screamo singer, and then you can have a bunch of moronic retards in all-black and tight girl pants and eyeliner follow you around like you're Jesus.

I'm a fag, I like Screamo

My daddy beat me, so I like Screamo

I sing for a Screamo band, I have no talent.

by SmellyBaptist August 22, 2006

gooey duck

The "Gooey Duck" is when you and your lady friend are having sex in a pool, hot tub, or any other body of water, and when you cum you pull out and put one of her legs on the side of the pool and jizz on it. That way, when she puts it back in the water, she swims weird because she is trying to get it all off, much in the way a duck would swim if it had something sticky stuck to it's leg.

Dray: I gave Nicole Peaslee a gooey duck when we had sweet HxC sex all night in the pool last night because she is hot and loves my naked body.

Haney: Okay. . .

by smellybaptist July 25, 2007