simon's definitions

duck

A duck is a wholly wonderful creature. They also say "quack"

Duck: "Quack..."

by Simon April 12, 2004

dung funnel

aka poopshoot or arse. passage for human waste with puckered end for crimping.

i hear that julie chester takes it right up the dung funnel.

by Simon September 17, 2003

Hi Hon

Friendly greeting usually from old ladies with cat eye glasses and beehive hairdos in the great city of Baltimore, Md.

Hi Hon, how youse doin?

by Simon October 14, 2004

cunt

slang for the female genitailia, an insult, believed by many prudes to be one of the most insulting and rudist words in the english language

i've love to lick your cunt
you are such a cunt

by simon May 13, 2005

Strangle Kojak

when a guy is alone he might want some love - no girls around he'll have to strangle Kojak.
see masturbate

"hey honey im going out for a while"
"alright time to get out my playboy and Strangle Kojak"

by simon June 18, 2006

touchdown

The act of shitting a turd so long it hits the water before completely exiting the anus.

Huzzah! Dudes, guess who just mede a touchdown!

by Simon May 2, 2006

chaco

slang for vagina, evoking both chaunch and meat taco

Jennifer Lopez has a well oiled chaco.

by Simon November 16, 2004