q359's definitions

dumbass

A classic, all-purpose insult for a stupid person that can be used many ways, this particular definition writer prefers to use it for people who do idiotic things that they should know better than to do, and which, due to their own stupidity, end up with them getting hurt, getting suckered out of their money or otherwise taken advantage of, or suffering other ill fortune. People who brought it on themselves.

Some people think the term originated with Beavis and Butt-head, but that's actually not true, that show just popularized the term. It's at least as old as Star Trek IV (1986), and probably older than that. While the show That '70s Show came out later, and is fictional, the character of Red Forman in that show was also known for using the term and so, if the show is an accurate depiction of the time, then people were using the term in the '70s as well.

I read an article about this dude who got drunk, put a lit firecracker in a beer bottle and shoved it up his rectum, and now he doesn't have an anus or a colon. What a dumbass.

by q359 July 24, 2023

99.999999%

A completely unscientific, pulled-out-of-the ass statistic that people use that is not based on ANY actual statistical research, when they want to assure you that their very bullheaded, highly-opinionated conclusion is true ALMOST all of the time, but oh-so-humbly admit that there is an infinitesimal, but non-zero, chance of a case happening where they might be wrong. Sometimes people keep it simple and just say 99%, but feel free to add more nines after the decimal the more smug and self-assured you want to sound. A way of having it both ways, and saying "I believe that I am right all the time!" without TECHNICALLY saying that you think you're right ALL the time.

According to the Internet, an ASTOUNDING number of things are true 99.9999999999% of the time.

Dumbass: Sure, it's technically true that someone could be fat because of genetics or glandular issues, but 99.999999% of the time, it's because they're a lazy piece of shit who won't put down the cake.

by q359 July 24, 2023

barbie crotch

When a woman's shaven pussy is built in such a way that looking at her straight-on from the front and standing, you don't see any hint of lips, slit, or clit at all, making it look like she just has no genitals, just a completely blank crotch, like a living Barbie doll. Common on curvier/chubbier women.

I'm surprised that Barbie crotch is not a more popular porn fetish.

by q359 July 24, 2023

simp

Besides the more common definition, a simp is also a specific type of pussy, usually a shaven one (but doesn't technically have to be), that from the outside, in its unspread state, just looks like a simple vertical slit, with no inner lippage or clit showing, like a sideways Homer Simpson mouth.

All types of pussies are beautiful, but a simp is a specific type of very cute one.

by q359 July 24, 2023

patzer

In chess circles, a bad chess player. Often, but not always, an opponent who is not only much worse than you, but actively pisses you off with poor sportsmanship, bad manners at the board (or online), or just general dumbassery.

Keep in mind, patzerism is relative. Everyone is a patzer to someone better. A person who casually plays chess is a patzer to even someone with a basic knowledge of tactics. That person is a patzer to a decent club player. The decent club player is a patzer to the club champion. The club champion is a patzer to Alexandra Botez. Alex is a patzer to Levy Rozman. Levy is a patzer to even a mediocre GM. Every other human being alive is a patzer to Magnus Carlsen, and Magnus is a patzer to Stockfish.

This patzer got his queen out on move 2, coughed in his hands and then touched my pieces immediately afterward, and then offered me a draw after he hung his queen. What a dumbass.

by q359 July 24, 2023

breast friend

A female friend with benefits, who has big (or at least nice) boobs.

She's not my best friend, she's my breast friend.

by q359 July 24, 2023

IQ

A bogus concept that claims to be a measure of intelligence, but in reality, is as problematic as using BMI as a measure of healthy weight. IQ tests have been demonstrated to be culturally biased (that is, they rely heavily on questions that presuppose knowledge of white, Western culture). In reality, intelligence isn't something people are born with varying amounts of, it's a muscle that people choose to exercise or not, and just about anyone (save for the PROFOUNDLY cognitively disabled) can be smart or stupid, depending on whether they choose to be observant of what's really going on around them, pay attention to detail, and learn from experiences both positive and negative, or just walk around the world like a dumbass with their head in the sand. There are many more stupid people in the world, because stupidity is the path of least resistance, being smart takes effort. Some people are better with numbers, memorizing patterns, spatial orientation, sure, but that isn't intelligence, those are just specific skills that people will naturally have varying degrees of. True intelligence or stupidity isn't something that's inborn, it's a choice to pay attention, make good decisions, and seek out helpful information, or not. The fact that so many high-IQ people are good at taking tests, but are complete and utter dumbasses in every other facet of life, should put to rest the idea that IQ means anything at all, but unfortunately, this very stupid myth still persists.

The fact that there are high-IQ people who advocate fascism, but my ex-girlfriend who is technically learning-disabled, and so bad with directions that she could get lost in a NYC street grid, volunteers her time passionately to help immigrants and low-income people, and taught herself Spanish, proves that IQ has jack-all to do with actual intelligence.

by q359 July 24, 2023