WARNING: THIS ACT SHOULD SHALL NOT BE ATTEMPTED IN REAL LIFE. THIS IS A HYPOTHETICAL ACT THAT IF PHYSICALLY RE-ENACTED, WILL PROBABLY LEAD TO YOUR FORCED DEPARTURE OF YOUR LOCAL MARKET, WITH OR WITHOUT YOUR GROCERY STORE PURCHASES.
Cart shopping is when you go into your local grocery store, armed with your shopping list, but instead of taking your items off of the shelves, you can only take the items on your list from other patron's shopping carts. The trick is not getting caught. If you do get caught, you immediately have to forfeit all of your items, and go and but ten quarts of mayonnaise.
Cart shopping is when you go into your local grocery store, armed with your shopping list, but instead of taking your items off of the shelves, you can only take the items on your list from other patron's shopping carts. The trick is not getting caught. If you do get caught, you immediately have to forfeit all of your items, and go and but ten quarts of mayonnaise.
Old Lady: Oi! I saw you try and take that kielbasa! You, you, you. . . Cart Shopper! Now go on and get yourself some mayonnaaaaiiise!
Cartshopper: *places mayonnaise on cash register conveyer belt*
Cashier: . . . Cart shopping?
Cartshopper: *nods*
Cashier: ROFL
Cartshopper: *places mayonnaise on cash register conveyer belt*
Cashier: . . . Cart shopping?
Cartshopper: *nods*
Cashier: ROFL
by Pi@noguy January 09, 2011
(noun, verb)
A. A stretch, typically performed in the morning, which is so relieving that it nearly bends reality. It is usually accompanied by a feeling of immense, in-the-moment liberation.
It can also be achieved any time of day, maintaining that there is a god-like surge of solace, a physics-defying freedom felt.
B. (As a verb) To stretch with the result of intense satisfaction and relief.
A. A stretch, typically performed in the morning, which is so relieving that it nearly bends reality. It is usually accompanied by a feeling of immense, in-the-moment liberation.
It can also be achieved any time of day, maintaining that there is a god-like surge of solace, a physics-defying freedom felt.
B. (As a verb) To stretch with the result of intense satisfaction and relief.
Jack: I'm so stiff, sleeping on that futon was such a bad idea.
Josh: You should've slept upstairs.
Jack: Oh- Wait a minute- (stretches) oooohhhhh yes! Divine stretch! Wow! I'm so refreshed.
Josh: You should've slept upstairs.
Jack: Oh- Wait a minute- (stretches) oooohhhhh yes! Divine stretch! Wow! I'm so refreshed.
by pi@noguy December 06, 2010
(noun)
a term reserved for when your plastic wrap gets all stuck to itself, resulting in a half-baked wrap job.
a term reserved for when your plastic wrap gets all stuck to itself, resulting in a half-baked wrap job.
by pi@noguy December 07, 2010
The abnormally large hands of a musician, typically one who plays the piano. Can also pertain to the hands of a musician who plays an instrument requiring a wide physical reach such as guitar or bass. Note: hands must be freakishly huge and may only be called piano hands if the specimen is musically inclined. That's right, we know who you are, impostors. . .
Derek: How is it even possible that you can pick up that watermelon with one hand?
Dave: Piano hands, dude. Piano hands. . .
Dave: Piano hands, dude. Piano hands. . .
by Pi@noguy January 09, 2011
(verb)
This is characterized as a situation in which you blame a really rank fart on a dog, usually your own, and typically in the company of other people so nobody suspects you.
Warning: this term is only to be applied in the most dire circumstances. The result of over blame-farting is the perception that you are overly insecure about your flatulence, and everybody will begin to suspect you.
This is characterized as a situation in which you blame a really rank fart on a dog, usually your own, and typically in the company of other people so nobody suspects you.
Warning: this term is only to be applied in the most dire circumstances. The result of over blame-farting is the perception that you are overly insecure about your flatulence, and everybody will begin to suspect you.
Jack: Ah, who ripped one?!
Jen: That is putrid!
Josh: *nervously* EWWW, Fido that is disgusting. Sorry guys, Fido has been pretty gas-ish lately.
Jack: I'll say, wow.
Jen: No way, Josh. That was a total blame fart. It was you. We all know Chao Mein does it to you.
Josh: *face reddens*
Jen: That is putrid!
Josh: *nervously* EWWW, Fido that is disgusting. Sorry guys, Fido has been pretty gas-ish lately.
Jack: I'll say, wow.
Jen: No way, Josh. That was a total blame fart. It was you. We all know Chao Mein does it to you.
Josh: *face reddens*
by pi@noguy December 07, 2010
(noun)
A joke that somebody tells when they first wake up that makes no sense. They come up with it in their sleep, and in accordance with all dream rules and regulation, it makes sense when they are half awake. The humor and logic of the joke usually wears off mid-speak, but because they started the joke, they have to finish it. It is usually replied to with looks of concern, or looks that convey, "What the *&%^ are you on?"
In contrast, the jokes can sometimes be funny if the person you tell it to has experience with the situation you talk yourself into.
A joke that somebody tells when they first wake up that makes no sense. They come up with it in their sleep, and in accordance with all dream rules and regulation, it makes sense when they are half awake. The humor and logic of the joke usually wears off mid-speak, but because they started the joke, they have to finish it. It is usually replied to with looks of concern, or looks that convey, "What the *&%^ are you on?"
In contrast, the jokes can sometimes be funny if the person you tell it to has experience with the situation you talk yourself into.
Jack: Dude, I came up with a wicked funny joke in my sleep. Wanna hear it?
Josh: Yeah, sure, bro. Good morning, by the way.
Jack: Yeah, good morning. K, here goes: Why can't you put fruit in wells? *puzzled face*
Josh: I dunno, why?
Jack: Wait, never mind, it doesn't make any sense.
Josh: No, c'mon man you can't just start a joke and not finish it! Spit it out!
Jack: Uhhhh. . . 'cuz uh. . . they are star fruit?
*pause*
Eruption of laughter
Josh: Dude, that had to be a dream joke!
Jack: Definitely. Sorry bro. Hey is that coffee done yet?
Josh: Yeah, sure, bro. Good morning, by the way.
Jack: Yeah, good morning. K, here goes: Why can't you put fruit in wells? *puzzled face*
Josh: I dunno, why?
Jack: Wait, never mind, it doesn't make any sense.
Josh: No, c'mon man you can't just start a joke and not finish it! Spit it out!
Jack: Uhhhh. . . 'cuz uh. . . they are star fruit?
*pause*
Eruption of laughter
Josh: Dude, that had to be a dream joke!
Jack: Definitely. Sorry bro. Hey is that coffee done yet?
by pi@noguy December 07, 2010
(noun)
An insatiable, un-quellable release of noise from one's voice box indicating the perfection of the food one is currently consuming. It is generally followed by multiple other variations of the sound in between chewing and swallowing.
An insatiable, un-quellable release of noise from one's voice box indicating the perfection of the food one is currently consuming. It is generally followed by multiple other variations of the sound in between chewing and swallowing.
Jack: Dude, I've been hungry ALL day! I haven't eaten a thing since yesterday.
Josh: *tosses oreos* Here, bro.
Jack: OH! (food moan) OH! OHHHH! So GOOOOOOOOD!!!! Thank you, God!
Josh: Wow, that was quite the food moan.
Josh: *tosses oreos* Here, bro.
Jack: OH! (food moan) OH! OHHHH! So GOOOOOOOOD!!!! Thank you, God!
Josh: Wow, that was quite the food moan.
by Pi@noguy December 07, 2010