Pi@noguy's definitions

. . . if only bananas were longer. . .

A conversational endpoint that you use when some little whiny worm is complaining to you and you are sick of it. Will often belittle complainer and give complain-ee a defining sense of satisfaction.

Whining little worm: Ughhhh, I got dirty snow on my Uggs, and my cell phone is broken, and things are really hard at home with my parents and ugh I'm just so stressed!

Me: . . . if only bananas were longer. . .

Whining Little Worm: *Silence*

by Pi@noguy January 13, 2011

Piano Hands

The abnormally large hands of a musician, typically one who plays the piano. Can also pertain to the hands of a musician who plays an instrument requiring a wide physical reach such as guitar or bass. Note: hands must be freakishly huge and may only be called piano hands if the specimen is musically inclined. That's right, we know who you are, impostors. . .

Derek: How is it even possible that you can pick up that watermelon with one hand?

Dave: Piano hands, dude. Piano hands. . .

by Pi@noguy January 9, 2011

Cart Shopping

WARNING: THIS ACT SHOULD SHALL NOT BE ATTEMPTED IN REAL LIFE. THIS IS A HYPOTHETICAL ACT THAT IF PHYSICALLY RE-ENACTED, WILL PROBABLY LEAD TO YOUR FORCED DEPARTURE OF YOUR LOCAL MARKET, WITH OR WITHOUT YOUR GROCERY STORE PURCHASES.

Cart shopping is when you go into your local grocery store, armed with your shopping list, but instead of taking your items off of the shelves, you can only take the items on your list from other patron's shopping carts. The trick is not getting caught. If you do get caught, you immediately have to forfeit all of your items, and go and but ten quarts of mayonnaise.

Old Lady: Oi! I saw you try and take that kielbasa! You, you, you. . . Cart Shopper! Now go on and get yourself some mayonnaaaaiiise!

Cartshopper: *places mayonnaise on cash register conveyer belt*

Cashier: . . . Cart shopping?

Cartshopper: *nods*

Cashier: ROFL

by Pi@noguy January 9, 2011

Canned Peaches

Salvation. In its purest form.

Frank: Dude, I am so hungry right now.

Johnny: Canned peaches?

Frank: Yessssssss. Thank you, God

by Pi@noguy January 9, 2011

Distraction Pretzel

A pretzel that you use to distract someone/something in order to get access to an item, i.e. laptop, car, money etc.

Jason: Hey can I use your computer?

Jen: No.

Jason: *holds out distraction pretzel, tosses it in corner*

Jen: *leaps for pretzel*

Jason: *grabs computer and quickly updates Facebook Status*

by pi@noguy January 6, 2011

Food Moan

(noun)

An insatiable, un-quellable release of noise from one's voice box indicating the perfection of the food one is currently consuming. It is generally followed by multiple other variations of the sound in between chewing and swallowing.

Jack: Dude, I've been hungry ALL day! I haven't eaten a thing since yesterday.

Josh: *tosses oreos* Here, bro.

Jack: OH! (food moan) OH! OHHHH! So GOOOOOOOOD!!!! Thank you, God!

Josh: Wow, that was quite the food moan.

by Pi@noguy December 8, 2010

Saran Crap

(noun)

a term reserved for when your plastic wrap gets all stuck to itself, resulting in a half-baked wrap job.

Jason: *pulls leftovers from fridge* "Dude! what's with the saran crap on the noodles?"

by pi@noguy December 8, 2010