pepsicola's definitions

Protestant

A group of well meaning but sometimes arrogant Christians who believe that everyone but them is wrong. Trashed the Catholic Church's teachings, in the process insulting the Virgin Mother of God, denying the complexity of the Body Of Christ, that faith devoid of works is a dead thing, and that all Catholics are going to hell. Are usually from upper-middle class backgrounds and love everyone...as long as they walk, talk, sound, dress and act just like them. DO NOT represent Christianity as a whole, and are at times an embarassment to believers. Use creepy and sometimes criminal people to spread their message: Benny Hinn, John T Chick etc. 98% are good, decent loving people. All Protestants WILL go to Heaven as they accept The Lord Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior, but need to stop trashing 2000 years of Catholic teaching because they prefer Hillsong music to Gregorian. SOMETIMES delare all Catholics to be pedophiles, theives and heretics. This is a small number however. Deny that saints can hear prayer (despite it being a Biblical fact), a mistake coming from their over simplification of Christ's body. Mock other's practices and are quick to point out mistakes made by the Catholic church without stopping to think of their own. Are loved by God. Despised by many. Loved by Catholics who simply wish to live in faith peacefully. Can be spotted by incredibly dorky dress sense and listen to Hillsong music.

John- "Hello. I'm a Catholic. I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, God made flesh who died on Calvaries Cross, thus justifying me by His Most Holy Blood and making me righteous in the sight of God the Father by faith. He paid the full price of my sins on Calvaries Cross, and by His Most Holy Ressurection restored me to life eternal. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the communion of saints, the ressurection of the dead and life eternal. I've been transfered from the kingdom of darkness to the Kingdom of Light. I also ask that the Blessed Virgin Mary, ever connected to Jesus as part of His Body, a sacred, mystical connection between the two of them, pray to Jesus for me, that my prayers shall be heard..."

Jackie the Protestant- "Mary? Oh no! You need to know the truth!"

by PepsiCola September 11, 2006

Cathostant

A Cathostant (Cath-O-Stant) is a protestant with serious Catholic love. A protestant who enjoys saying the rosary, praising The Sacred Heart of Jesus, admires Catholic statues, meditating on the stations of the Cross. Crosses themselves before prayer and may even use the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Anglo-Catholics are the most famous Cathostants, but many protestants emerse themselves in Catholic lore and practice, whilst retaining their 'salvation by grace through faith alone' stance. Cathostants are rapidly growing. A healthy sign that prayers for Catholic/Protestant friendship and re-building are being heard by God Almighty. Praise be to Jesus!

Jimmy the baptist- "Like, that Casper dude wears a cross with Our Lord still on it, crosses himself, says the rosary, wears a scapular and a sacred heart medal but claims to be a Protestant!"

Dave the open minded baptist- "Yeah. He's a Cathostant. They love Catholic culture as it inspires their faith but retain Luther's teachings on "Salvation by grace through faith alone'.

by pepsicola September 16, 2006

superman

The worlds greatest Superhero. No as relevant nowadays as he used to be, but will be forever remembered and will probably be to future generations what Greek gods are to us today. His S symbol is more known than the peace symbol worldwide. Embodies the concept of the Superhero, and apart from Batman and Spiderman has no competition in terms of public admiration. Has much in common with Jesus Christ, i.e- sent from a far away heavenly place by his father to aid and save humanity. Died and was resurrected. Sells millions in merchandise a year and hundreds of thousands of comic books. Outdated somewhat today, but forever will be remembered and esteemed as the first god of the comic medium.

"Superman is the first true superhero..."

by PepsiCola September 14, 2006

Australian Idol

Stupid televison show hosted by two morons, one who looks like he's on speed constantly, featuring 100 or so idiots who think they will make a difference in the music industry and judged by a bloke who looks like a rock-spider, a black American who couldn't make it in her own country, and a short fat geezer with a cockatoo hair-cut who think's he knows alot about hip-hop music. Pathetic. If Bob Dylan had been born in 1980 and auditioned, would be rejected because he doesn't look 'funky' enough. For people who know nothing about music. Destroy.

Australian Idol audition-

Bob Dylan- "Well, Marcia I'm gonna sing a song of mine called Don't Think Twice It's Alright..."

*plays classic song*

Marcia, Mark and Kyle- "Sorry mate. Your not funky enough. That will never sell. NEXT!"

by PepsiCola September 14, 2006

Oprah

Another word for- sociopath. Oprah panders her new-age crap at bored, upper-middle class women who, like Germans in the 30's listening to the demented rantings of another maniac, buy it hook, line and sinker. A billionaire who connives women into believing that she's 'one of the girls'. Gives cars away to poor people, naturally on international TV so everyone can SEE how great she is. Cars aren't registered OR insured however. Poor people lose 'free' car. Oprah looks like saint. Disgusting. Has a golden toilet. Seriously.

"When Jesus whups the anti-Christ, it'll be Oprah, and Dr Phil will be the false prophet..."

by PepsiCola September 16, 2006

Pornography

Pointless filth that destroys families and eventually turns men impotent. Needed by insecure men to achieve erection when no other way is possible. Has been known to turn men into pedophiles and in some cases rapists. Starred in by naive young women who allow themselves to be raped and laughed at for money that barely pays their rent. Ted Bundy was a porn addict and some porn companies have hidden their 'talent's' HIV+ diagnosis to continue buisness. Evil, sick buisness that does nothing but damage and encourages sexual abuse and disrespect of women. This is from a dude. A straight one.

"Pornography is the greatest evil the world faces..."

by PepsiCola September 12, 2006

wicca

Spirituality with-out sacrifice. The easy way to feel mystical. Manipulating spiritual forces that could be dangerous, weilding power no human is supposed to have and allowing potentially leathal spiritual powers into ones home and life. A dangerous practice that is 'cool' as apposed to 'boring, homophobic, unmystical' Christianity. There is a splinter-group called Christopagan. This abomination is the combining of Pagan/Christian power. Proof that these knuckleheads fear the One True God and try to involve Him in their life. By the grace of The Lord Jesus Christ most Christopagans are led into a true relationship with the One True God. Tragically deluded people who need help and prayer. In the film Signs starring Mel Gibson, a character named Merrill describes 'people who've never had a girl/boyfriend in their life who do this crap to feel special. They make up little codes and work on Greek mythology together, make secret societies where other guy/girls who've never had a boy/girlfriend either can join in. It's a scam." That is the perfect definition of wicca.

"wicca? What a load of crap!"

by PepsiCola September 14, 2006