pdxjohnny99 's definitions
An intervention by family and friends with the intent of reaching out emotionally to a troubled individual, but it goes terribly wrong and ends up in possible arguments, anger, vulgarities, screaming, fist-fights, and visits to the nearest emergency room.
Uncle Bobby's intervention didn't go well this morning. We started with a prayer and it turned out he was on PCP and punched Aunt Angie in the face and kicked his buddy Mike in the groin. Then he grabbed their dog Ladie and dropkicked it across the living room. It turned out to be a fucking aggrovention.
by PDXJohnny99 April 14, 2013
Get the aggrovention mug.Whenever someone eats any kind of sandwhich of burger on a sesame seed bun, and once finished proceeds to pick and eat the leftover sesame seeds off the plate or wrapper.
Dawn: Okay... are you done with you're roast beef sandwhiches? Let's go.
Smitty: No way. Sesame standoff.
Dawn: For real? You embarass the shit out of me when you do this!
Smitty then starts picking every sesame seed off the wrappers.
Dawn: I'm never eating out with you again, dad.
Smitty: No way. Sesame standoff.
Dawn: For real? You embarass the shit out of me when you do this!
Smitty then starts picking every sesame seed off the wrappers.
Dawn: I'm never eating out with you again, dad.
by PDXJohnny99 April 16, 2013
Get the Sesame Standoff mug.A threat that's explains itself.
Big Brother: I'm gonna eat your cookies, sis. That okay?
Sister: You do and...I'll fucking eat your fucking eyeballs, fucker!
Big Brother: crunch crunch
Sister: If you fucking eat one fucking more I'll castrate your fucking dog with my teeth!
Big Brother: crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch
Sister: I'll fucking MURDER YOU TO DEATH!! FUCKER!!
Big Brother: crunch. crunch crunch crunch crunch. crunch crunch
Sister: You do and...I'll fucking eat your fucking eyeballs, fucker!
Big Brother: crunch crunch
Sister: If you fucking eat one fucking more I'll castrate your fucking dog with my teeth!
Big Brother: crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch
Sister: I'll fucking MURDER YOU TO DEATH!! FUCKER!!
Big Brother: crunch. crunch crunch crunch crunch. crunch crunch
by PDXJohnny99 April 16, 2013
Get the Murder you to Death mug.Whenever your cell phone suddenly dies during a text session, conversation, or any mode of communication due to battery malfunction or technical malfunction. Thus causing a period of time of uncertainty in the minds of the people you had been communicating with while the phone either stays powerless or while it reboots and reconnects.
Dave: Sorry I my phone died. I couldn't turn it on my battery fuckin' died and I had no way to call you back.
Colin: Uh... that was two days ago.
Dave: Phone stroke. It was totally down.. Lost my my charger.
Colin: Two days, dude.
Dave: Yeah. Sorry. Nothing I could do. Fucking phone stroke. Had to buy a new charger.
Colin: Well, anyway, I managed to escape from the satanic cult yesterday, but thanks for calling me back today. Glad your phone is back up.
Colin: Uh... that was two days ago.
Dave: Phone stroke. It was totally down.. Lost my my charger.
Colin: Two days, dude.
Dave: Yeah. Sorry. Nothing I could do. Fucking phone stroke. Had to buy a new charger.
Colin: Well, anyway, I managed to escape from the satanic cult yesterday, but thanks for calling me back today. Glad your phone is back up.
by PDXJohnny99 April 16, 2013
Get the Phone stroke mug.Those nightmares people tend to have related to their occupations. Often it tends to be a reoccurring nightmare and a supervisor is a prominant figure in the dream usually.
Wally recently started a new job as a master control operator at the local television station. He is the person responsible for making sure the television shows air perfectly. He is completely stressed out due to the fact that the job is hyper-technical and his work is being watched by thousands of viewers at any given time.
Now he's having jobmares. In these dreams he is constantly off-air and his boss either stands quietly behind him or screams in his face... and his entire shift becomes one major shitstorm and Wally's name becomes the source of constant putdowns around work. Then he wakes up.
He airs Headline News every shift at his job. The jobmares are ruining his sleep almost nightly. Last night he fell asleep at home with the tv on, then headline news came on and Wally snapped awake... thinking he missed his commercial break and ended up shitting the bed.
Now he's having jobmares. In these dreams he is constantly off-air and his boss either stands quietly behind him or screams in his face... and his entire shift becomes one major shitstorm and Wally's name becomes the source of constant putdowns around work. Then he wakes up.
He airs Headline News every shift at his job. The jobmares are ruining his sleep almost nightly. Last night he fell asleep at home with the tv on, then headline news came on and Wally snapped awake... thinking he missed his commercial break and ended up shitting the bed.
by PDXJohnny99 April 16, 2013
Get the Jobmare mug.Any fan of zombie films, shows, books, games, etc. Usually in association with the post-Night of the Living Dead era, aka George Romero zombies, aka RomZoms; and not classic voodoo zombies.
Danny is a true zombite. He has every issue of the Walking Dead. He has every Romero film on vhs, laser disc, bluray and dvd.
But his Uncle Harold was the biggest zombite he ever met. Uncle Harold invented a sexual position called "zombie-style". He's divorced now.
Every Thanksgiving he would stuff the turkey with pig guts and fake blood and he and the children would tear the turkey apart with their barehands. He has lost custody of the children.
He used to fake-bite coworkers on the neck in bathrooms or elevators. He's now unemployed.
For two years straight he was first place in the state Zombie Run. Now he's banned because of doping.
But his Uncle Harold was the biggest zombite he ever met. Uncle Harold invented a sexual position called "zombie-style". He's divorced now.
Every Thanksgiving he would stuff the turkey with pig guts and fake blood and he and the children would tear the turkey apart with their barehands. He has lost custody of the children.
He used to fake-bite coworkers on the neck in bathrooms or elevators. He's now unemployed.
For two years straight he was first place in the state Zombie Run. Now he's banned because of doping.
by PDXJohnny99 April 17, 2013
Get the zombite mug.1. When someone is masturbating and either an awful sound, smell, thought or sight suddenly disturbs the person, thus ending the masturbation process abruptly.
2. Whenever a masturbating session is disturbed.
2. Whenever a masturbating session is disturbed.
A. Ray was masturbating when he unexpectedly thought about his neighbor's grandmother and completely lost his hard-on. It was masturbing.
B. Ray was masturbating in his car and, unexpectedly, his neighbor caught him. It was too masturbing for Ray to go on.
C. Ray was masturbating on the toilet when he unexpectedly heard his neighbor screaming in his sleep from night terrors. Ray was somewhat masturbed by this.
D. Ray was masturbating to online porn when, unexpectedly, he discovered his neighbor was watching him from the living room window again. Very masturbing.
B. Ray was masturbating in his car and, unexpectedly, his neighbor caught him. It was too masturbing for Ray to go on.
C. Ray was masturbating on the toilet when he unexpectedly heard his neighbor screaming in his sleep from night terrors. Ray was somewhat masturbed by this.
D. Ray was masturbating to online porn when, unexpectedly, he discovered his neighbor was watching him from the living room window again. Very masturbing.
by PDXJohnny99 April 18, 2013
Get the masturbing mug.