nicholas d's definitions
Acronym for collateralized debt obligation, a funding tool that banks use to package up a bunch of bonds (often subprime mortgage backed), then divide the package up into new bonds and sell them after skimming a few million dollars off the top. Usually called "diversified," but if you've got dog shit, horse shit, ape shit, and elephant shit, then you can call it whatever you want, but at the end of the day you're still just holding a gigantic pile of shit.
A way of putting lipstick on a pig that banks milked the hell out of from the mid-1990's til 2007. Unfortunately the banks got totally Bear Stearned when everyone saw through the lipstick and they were caught holding a whole sty of CDO pigs.
A way of putting lipstick on a pig that banks milked the hell out of from the mid-1990's til 2007. Unfortunately the banks got totally Bear Stearned when everyone saw through the lipstick and they were caught holding a whole sty of CDO pigs.
Banker: "I've got this great investment for you. It's called a CDO."
Sucker: "Um...I've heard bad things about those. What's so good about this one?"
Banker: "It's diversified! It's got subprime mortgage bonds from Kansas, subprime mortgage bonds from Georgia, subprime mortgage bonds from Nevada, and subprime mortgage bonds from Michigan!"
Sucker: "I've heard bad things about subprime - do you have anything else?"
Banker: "Of course! This other CDO is even MORE diversified. It's got Ninja loans, loans to homeless people to buy crack, Iraqi government debt, and loans to people that need some money to bet on the roulette wheel in Vegas. Of course there's almost NO chance that any of those people won't be able to pay back what they owe."
Sucker: "SOLD! Give me $10 million of it!"
Sucker: "Um...I've heard bad things about those. What's so good about this one?"
Banker: "It's diversified! It's got subprime mortgage bonds from Kansas, subprime mortgage bonds from Georgia, subprime mortgage bonds from Nevada, and subprime mortgage bonds from Michigan!"
Sucker: "I've heard bad things about subprime - do you have anything else?"
Banker: "Of course! This other CDO is even MORE diversified. It's got Ninja loans, loans to homeless people to buy crack, Iraqi government debt, and loans to people that need some money to bet on the roulette wheel in Vegas. Of course there's almost NO chance that any of those people won't be able to pay back what they owe."
Sucker: "SOLD! Give me $10 million of it!"
by Nicholas D March 26, 2008
Get the CDOmug. A legendary beirut/beer pong shot that lands on the tops of four cups simultaneously. Considered the rarest shot in the game, topping even the trifecta, 2-cup knockover-and-sink, and simultaneous 6-cup game-ending double bounce-in. Counts as 4 cups and has never happened in recorded history of the game, despite being theoretically possible.
So rare for the following reasons:
1) Only possible with smaller-than-average cups.
2) Only possible when cups are arranged in a perfect square formation (not possible in a standard game).
3) The physics of it happening are similar to those of the trifecta, which almost never happens in itself.
So rare for the following reasons:
1) Only possible with smaller-than-average cups.
2) Only possible when cups are arranged in a perfect square formation (not possible in a standard game).
3) The physics of it happening are similar to those of the trifecta, which almost never happens in itself.
Witnessing Dan's game-ending quadfecta in the semifinals of the Theta Delt beirut tournament was a thing of beauty comparable to seeing the face of God Himself smiling down on you from the heavens.
by Nicholas D December 24, 2007
Get the quadfectamug. A difficult situation that one experienced that is as traumatic and harrowing as fighting in a long and brutal war. Coined by Donald Trump in a 1997 interview with Howard Stern.
“I’ve been so lucky in terms of that whole world. It is a dangerous world out there. It’s scary, like Vietnam. Sort of like the Vietnam era. It is my personal Vietnam. I feel like a great and very brave soldier.” - Donald Trump, speaking about his experiences sleeping with a large number of loose women and trying to avoid catching STDs
Dude: "Hey bro, I heard the Philz Coffee near your office closed down. That's a bummer."
Bro: "Dude, you have no idea! It's been like my personal Vietnam. Now I've had two choices: 1) go without coffee or 2) go to freaking Starbucks and drink that swill! There's no other choice. I'm not sure I can go on like this anymore."
Dude: "Wow bro, that's really rough. I can see how that's similar to being tortured within an inch of your life in a prisoner of war camp for three years."
Bro: "Yeah, maybe even worse."
Dude: "Hey bro, I heard the Philz Coffee near your office closed down. That's a bummer."
Bro: "Dude, you have no idea! It's been like my personal Vietnam. Now I've had two choices: 1) go without coffee or 2) go to freaking Starbucks and drink that swill! There's no other choice. I'm not sure I can go on like this anymore."
Dude: "Wow bro, that's really rough. I can see how that's similar to being tortured within an inch of your life in a prisoner of war camp for three years."
Bro: "Yeah, maybe even worse."
by Nicholas D August 16, 2016
Get the personal Vietnammug. “All restaurants must close indoor and outdoor dining!” Gavin Newsom the Covypocrite proclaimed in between bites of white truffle covered foie gras at a large group indoor dinner at The French Laundry.
by Nicholas D December 2, 2020
Get the covypocritemug. Jeff: "Hey man, you should swing by my place on Friday night. It's going to be a total excrement expo!"
Ryan: "Real shit show, huh? I'll be there!"
*Ding Dong*
Jeff: "Welcome to the shit show, man."
Ryan: "Um...it smells bad in here. Where's the keg? Why don't I see any hot girls?"
Jeff: "Even better my friend. This right here is a rare petrified dropping from a 15th century dodo bird...oh and this one over here came from a woolly mammoth 100,000 years ago!"
Ryan: "Dude. I didn't realize you meant that literally. This is a bunch of bullshit."
Jeff: "No, the bull shit is in the other room. Really interesting stuff. Let me show you."
Ryan: "Screw this. I'm swayze."
Ryan: "Real shit show, huh? I'll be there!"
*Ding Dong*
Jeff: "Welcome to the shit show, man."
Ryan: "Um...it smells bad in here. Where's the keg? Why don't I see any hot girls?"
Jeff: "Even better my friend. This right here is a rare petrified dropping from a 15th century dodo bird...oh and this one over here came from a woolly mammoth 100,000 years ago!"
Ryan: "Dude. I didn't realize you meant that literally. This is a bunch of bullshit."
Jeff: "No, the bull shit is in the other room. Really interesting stuff. Let me show you."
Ryan: "Screw this. I'm swayze."
by Nicholas D February 27, 2011
Get the excrement expomug. 1) "Son, I can't believe you brought that big ol' gobbler home for Thanksgiving dinner. I'm so proud of you."
2) "Son, I can't believe you brought that big ol' gobbler home for Thanksgiving dinner. You're a disgrace to this family...and so is your grandfather, who paid that fat skank $20 for a hummer."
2) "Son, I can't believe you brought that big ol' gobbler home for Thanksgiving dinner. You're a disgrace to this family...and so is your grandfather, who paid that fat skank $20 for a hummer."
by Nicholas D May 8, 2007
Get the gobblermug. The New Yorker staff fired Jeffrey Toobin for Toobin on an election simulation Zoom call after he misread the event as an erection stimulation call.
by Nicholas D October 20, 2020
Get the Toobmug.