nethcev!'s definitions

Death

A state of existence that men tend to seek at their worst hours, and avoid during the rest of their years.

Deaths in 2003 (according to the World Health Report): 29.2% from cardiovascular diseases, 12.9% from Ischemic heart disease alone. 19.5% from parasitic diseases, lead by HIV 4.9%. Malignant neoplasms (growths and tumors) 12.5%, 2.2% from trachea, bronchus and lung. 6.7% from respiratory infections and 6.5% from respiratory diseases, chronic obtrusive pulmonary disease leading them with 4.8% of worldwide deaths. 6.2% from so called accidents, road and traffic injuries leading at 2.1%. 4.3% can be attributes to prenatal conditions, 3.4% to digestive diseases, chronic liver disease and cirrhosis of the liver combine to include 1.4% of worldwide deaths. Neuropsychiatric disorders such as Alzheimer’s take 1.9%, diabetes mellitus claims another 1.7% and Nephritis, nephrotic syndrome and nephrosis another 1.2%. Intentional injuries make 2.9% with suicide leading at 1.5% followed by homicide at 1.0% The remaining 3.7% died of various causes ranging from drowning to being mauled by a bear/bears.

by nethcev! January 2, 2006

Chemistry

The study of meaningless numbers and letters through complex equations, usually taught by a professor who owns or operates a methamphetamine lab on the side to help subsidize his/her meager income.

While I failed high school chemistry, my teacher was fired the following year for incompetence.

by nethcev! August 23, 2006

Psychiatrist

A dandified drug dealer.

"Anybody who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined." --Samuel Goldwyn

by nethcev! September 20, 2006

human

An omnivorous mammal, commonly known to the scientific community as, “homo sapiens”, whose precise evolutionary origins remain in dispute. Though some believe that human beings are distinguished from other creatures through the unique possession of a “soul”, others believe that it is the desire of humans to find a sense of “meaning” and “purpose” in their finite existence which separates man from other beasts. A poodle, for instance, cares not whether its existence serves any greater purpose than its own being. Such thoughts have probably never even occurred to any poodle through out history, nor a gorilla or even a dolphin for that matter. Nor are they ever likely to.

"Cheer up, you're only human."

by nethcev! August 24, 2006

Boston

A popular nomenclature, first coined by the people of Massachusetts to describe a colossal labyrinth of seemingly unnavigable streets and causeways.

Boston, Massachusetts

by nethcev! August 24, 2006

god

The exception to all absolutes.

To provide an example would be contrary to my definition for God.

by nethcev! August 24, 2006

enemy

1. A former friend or acquaintance whose company is no longer considered to be beneficial to a relationship.
2. One who is deemed or deems him/herself to be of more use to another as an adversary as apposed to an ally.

"Every enemy I have my government made for me."

by nethcev! August 24, 2006