mike's definitions

Newton

When you beat off while taking a shit, while timing it so you drop a huge log right as you spurt, causing an "equal but opposite" reaction.

He's been in the bathroom for a long-ass time...

Yeah, he's probably pullin' a Newton

by Mike July 25, 2008

Conan O'Brien

The Johnny Carson of modern times. Conan really came into his own after his second banana, Andy Richter, left the show in the late 90s. O'Brien recieved the high honor of being the replacement to Jay Leno at the end of the decade. Famous characters from his show include Triumph the insult comedy dog and the masturbating bear.

"Right now its time to look....into the future!"
"The future Conan?"
"Yes that's right (enter guest's name here)! Its time to look all the way....to the year 2000!"

by Mike July 20, 2008

explogasm

to explode in orgasmic delight at something not related to any sexual activity.

"man, did you see that car? it was explogasmic"

by Mike July 16, 2008

fantology

ontology of possible worlds and fanstastic beings. This discipline bridges philosophical thought and artistic imagination.

The task of fantology is to explicate all possibilities of being, including those of alternative worlds, and to ground the practical discipline of world-formation.

by Mike May 30, 2008

Pornganization

1) n. The manner in which one's porn collection is organized.

2) v. The act of organizing one's porn collection.

1) "My pornganization scheme is thus: anal in one folder, hentai in one folder, vaginal in another, poses in another, etc. Porn falling into more than one category is copypasta'd to every category it falls into."

2) "Damn, I've been getting lazy with my downloads. I've just been dumping all of my porn into one folder without regard for its content. Time for a massive pornganization."

by Mike May 22, 2008

doctatorship

the dictatorship of doctors; the system of medical coercion that includes the mandatory methods of treatment enforced by hospitals and insurance companies. A patient has no choice. Medical totalitarianism.

They oblige me to follow this course of treatment because it is most profitable for the clinic. Doctatorship is no less dangerous for the society than political dictatorship is. We live under the regime of medical fascism.

by Mike March 30, 2008

taxicosis

(taxes + toxicosis) - a seasonal depression caused by tax preparations; an acute condition of majority of population every March and April. Symptoms: weakness, exhaustion, nausea, melancholy, etc.

Cf. toxicosis, a pathological condition caused by the action of a poison or toxin.

You look a sort of depressed. What happened? - A usual spring condition: taxicosis.

by Mike March 30, 2008