me old fruity's definitions

redditch

Large town in the Midlands UK. Could be so nice if it tried. Unfortunately, it has a chav problem. If only there was a chav rentokil...oh where was i..
It is characterised by huge estates, rubbish bus services and dismal nightclubs that get closed down and have to change their name. It is absolutely true that there is not much to do at night in Redditch. Your best bet is chicago rock cafe, if you don't mind 5 mile queues.

Never, ever drive unprepared into Redditch. You WILL get lost, all the roundabouts look identical. At best, you'll emerge, a gibbering wreck, somewhere near Alvechurch. At worst, you'll drive round Churchill for all eternity...

by me old fruity May 23, 2006

Dignified burial at sea

A euphemism for the act of defecation. Coined after Osama Bin Laden's 'dignified burial at sea'.

Taking a shit, dropping the kids off at the pool, laying cable, cutting off a length of dirty spine

Fred: "Where the hell is Dave? He's been gone ages!".
Dave: "Sorry about that guys, I had to perform a 'dignified burial at sea!'"

by me old fruity July 18, 2011

Scouse key

a crowbar.

thats it!

I was a bit short on cash, so i helped myself to a dvd player from the house down the road, letting myself in with my scouse key.

by me old fruity May 23, 2006

gormless

someone who couldn't find their arse with both hands.

paris hilton, george w bush

by me old fruity August 29, 2005

ken kaniff

apparently he's from conneticut, and somewhat closet homosexual. Eminem mentions him in several songs and skits.
ken seems to have a love/hate relationship with eminem.

there are rumours that he is in fact a real person who has an album titled 'the ken kaniff show', but details are sketchy.

'this is ken kaniff from the internet, tryna' lure your kids, into bed with him'
'guess who's back, back again, ken is back, tell some men, rub my back, rub my back, rub my back...'
'you want me to lick your ass, *eminem*?'

by me old fruity June 11, 2006

fag

1. British Cigarette
2. Homosexual
3. Short for faggot, a bundle of wood, once used to burn homosexuals at the stake in less enlightened times, which is where the insult comes from.
4. What younger boys at private/boarding school are refferred to by their seniors. 'fags' have to do stupid jobs like warming toilet seats. Roald Dahl was one.

1. 13 yr old: giz us a fag
me: sod off

2. chav: 'haha, that man is wearing a pink shirt, which means he *must* be a fag!' (as clinically proven by the logical individuals at ChavLab©)

3. mad puritan: arr, get me some willowe faggots so i may burn this young scoundrel, so no man may know i am rather partial to a goode bumming myselfe'

4. 'FAG! go lick my shoes clean!'

by me old fruity September 5, 2005

go catch a fish

something snoop dogg used as an insult on doggy-fizzle televizzle, to much amusement.

go catch a fish!...bitch!

by me old fruity September 10, 2006