me old fruity's definitions

gormless

someone who couldn't find their arse with both hands.

paris hilton, george w bush

by me old fruity August 29, 2005

muppet show

a group of morons in close proximity, behaving as morons do. the muppet show can often be seen at said morons natural habitats, such as:

1. chav infested shopping centres on saturdays
2. 'up town' on a friday night outside a nightclub
3. political gathrings, especially if George W Bush is in the vacinity (though he is by no means the only culprit, just the biggest.)

person a: why has that lad got bounced from a nightclub for being blatantly underage, staggered into the road swearing, flashed his arse at the police and got arrested whilst his fat girlfriend screams and hammers the riot van with her fists?

person b: the muppet show must be in town.

by me old fruity January 4, 2007

phantom turd

a turd that comes out your ass so fast that it disappears up the u-bend. u hear a big splash, but when u look in to the bowl, there's nothing there...

*splash* ooh sounded like a biggy! wa- heyyy? where did it go? damn spooky phantom turd!

by me old fruity September 25, 2005

diamn teef

Literally means 'damn thief' but is more used in a situation where someone is trying to rip you off.

Item has 50p sticker on it: I go to the till:
Shopkeeper: Thats £1.
Me: Its 50p!
Shopkeeper: no no, price is wrong...insert rubbish excuse here
Me: Diamn teef.

by me old fruity May 16, 2006

ring sting

what u get the morning after eating spicy foods, especially indian or spicy mexican cuisine. It burned in your mouth, it burned in your stomach, and it burns your sphincter.

'aw man, i wish i hadn't had that vindaloo last night. I have an acute case of ring sting, and i've been sitting on this toilet for an hour'

by me old fruity September 25, 2005

fruit loops

crazy people. you know, the ones that stand on street corners wearing foil round their heads jabbering on that the government is intercepting their thoughts.

'thats the third time today that someone has thrown a cat at me. are the fruit loops on day release fromn the funny farm or something?'

by me old fruity September 20, 2005

scouse cashpoint

a fruit machine.

ch-ching!

Dazza: Eh Brian are you goin out tonight mate?
Brian: Nah mate don't get me dole money till friday
Dazza: Calm down calm down youse can give the scouse cashpoint a try!

by me old fruity May 23, 2006