39 definition by me old fruity

Something all asian taxi drivers in the UK say when you get in the cab. Must be said with indian/pakistani accent for full effect, and can be very amusing if used correctly. see also:
can i help you my friend?
where u wanting to go?
my brother do it cheap for you!
when serving on the bar or in a shop, try asking 'how much you normally pay?' when a customer asks u how much something is, then laugh at their response
by me old fruity June 29, 2006

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A euphemism for the act of defecation. Coined after Osama Bin Laden's 'dignified burial at sea'.

Taking a shit, dropping the kids off at the pool, laying cable, cutting off a length of dirty spine
Fred: "Where the hell is Dave? He's been gone ages!".
Dave: "Sorry about that guys, I had to perform a 'dignified burial at sea!'"
by me old fruity July 16, 2011

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like fantastic but much cooler with much more emphasis. it must be pronounced with emphasis too. it is most commonly used in, but not limited to, the discussion of lady parts and/or lesbians.
The vicar of Dibley, Geraldine, said to Alice that shagging model Rachel Hunter would be 'fannytastic'.
by me old fruity November 06, 2006

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Literally means 'damn thief' but is more used in a situation where someone is trying to rip you off.
Item has 50p sticker on it: I go to the till:
Shopkeeper: Thats £1.
Me: Its 50p!
Shopkeeper: no no, price is wrong...insert rubbish excuse here
Me: Diamn teef.
by me old fruity May 03, 2006

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insult to mutter when one or a group of SERIOUSLY badly dressed people walk by.

Basically you are insinuating they must be in fancy dress to look so ridiculous, hence 'what did they come as?'
50 yr old woman walks by with big clunky black leather boots, a vile patterned multicoloured gypsy skirt, jewellery made from old christmas decorations and a t-shirt 3 sizes too small that says 'babe' on it:

me: what did they come as?
by me old fruity July 02, 2006

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A euphemism for the act of defecation. Based upon the Glade 'Touch 'n' Fresh' advert where the boy will only do a poo at his friend Paul's house.

Taking a shit, laying cable, cutting off a length of dirty spine
Just going to see Paul, be back in 10!
by me old fruity July 16, 2011

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Large town in the Midlands UK. Could be so nice if it tried. Unfortunately, it has a chav problem. If only there was a chav rentokil...oh where was i..
It is characterised by huge estates, rubbish bus services and dismal nightclubs that get closed down and have to change their name. It is absolutely true that there is not much to do at night in Redditch. Your best bet is chicago rock cafe, if you don't mind 5 mile queues.
Never, ever drive unprepared into Redditch. You WILL get lost, all the roundabouts look identical. At best, you'll emerge, a gibbering wreck, somewhere near Alvechurch. At worst, you'll drive round Churchill for all eternity...
by me old fruity May 16, 2006

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