markwonder's definitions

Hypocrite

A hypocrite is someone who is critical of a certain practice when they themselves are engaging in the very same practice.

Anyone who supports illegal immigration in Arizona yet maintains locks on the doors of their homes and businesses to keep people from just walking in and taking anything they may need to make a better life for themselves or their families is a hypocrite.

by Markwonder May 14, 2010

Slavery

An institution supported and perpetuated by the Democratic Party right before the civil war. It's true. Look it up.

When Republican Abraham Lincoln became President during the election of 1860 on a platform of ending slavery in the US, many of the slave owning southern Democratic State Officials opted to secede from the Union.

When Abraham Lincoln and the Republican Union finally defeated the Confederates in 1865, many southern Democrat landowners refused to respect the freedom to former slaves and formed the terrorist organization, the KKK.

Brainwashed Liberal: The Republican party hates people of color. They are all about keeping the poor man working in slavery. It's the Democratic party that is a friend of the black man.

Old School Republican: The Republican party is about personal responsibility. You get only what you've worked for and earned. If Democrats had their way they would tax us all into slaves of the government. Open a history book.

by Markwonder September 27, 2011

Intolerance

Usually practiced by those on the left of the political spectrum when they are confronted with an opinion or belief that is different than theirs.

During the Miss America Pageant, When asked by judge Perez Hilton, an openly gay gossip blogger, whether she believed in gay marriage, Miss California, Carrie Prejean, said "We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite. And you know what, I think in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that's how I was raised."
Carrie Prejean was sneered and booed at by the audience and confronted with such abject hate and intolerance by the audience and many liberals for her opinion that many of the gay men at the event
wondered aloud why the judges did not discriminate against her for her beliefs. The question came up as to why Carrie Prejean was not thrown out of the competition for her stand on gay marriage.

by markwonder April 20, 2009

Law of wrong way

The law of wrong way states that: "While driving in the city, any missed or wrong turn and subsequent backtracking to find your original route will be met by frustratingly slow moving traffic and red lights at every intersection.

Many, if not all of these red lights will be Full-cycle red lights."

While trying to find the corporate building downtown, I missed my turn and ended up backtracking an extra 3 miles, through 4 busy intersections, while following two old ladies, a Vespa scooter and a garbage truck. The law of wrong way was in effect.

Needless to say, I missed the Boss's luncheon and didn't get the promotion. FML.

by Markwonder October 28, 2010

Jellybeans

Small, sugary jelly-like candy. They are shaped like small beans and come in many flavors and colors. They are somewhat harder than gummy bears. They are also very popular with the children around Easter.

Jellybeans are a lot like people. Nobody likes the black ones.

by Markwonder November 15, 2010

Shart

When you push too hard to fart and end up shitting your drawers.

Shart philosophy seen on bathroom wall:

Here I sit all broken hearted, came to shit but only farted.
Then one day I took a chance, went to fart and shit my pants.

by Markwonder March 18, 2011

Would you rather

A game where you are given a choice between two embarassing scenarios and you have to choose one.

Would you rather have a threesome with your parents and nobody find out?

OR

Not have a threesome with your parents and have everybody think you did?

by markwonder November 19, 2010