Definitions by markwonder
Would you rather
Would you rather have a threesome with your parents and nobody find out?
OR
Not have a threesome with your parents and have everybody think you did?
OR
Not have a threesome with your parents and have everybody think you did?
Would you rather by markwonder November 19, 2010
Jellybeans
Small, sugary jelly-like candy. They are shaped like small beans and come in many flavors and colors. They are somewhat harder than gummy bears. They are also very popular with the children around Easter.
Jellybeans by Markwonder November 15, 2010
Full-cycle red light
A traffic light that turns from yellow to red just as you get there and causes you to have to wait until the signal runs it's full cycle before it is your turn to pass. Seemingly stays red forever.
Usually at an intersection that includes turn arrow signals for cars making left turns.
Full-cycle red lights are commonly experienced while lost in the city. See the Law of wrong way.
Usually at an intersection that includes turn arrow signals for cars making left turns.
Full-cycle red lights are commonly experienced while lost in the city. See the Law of wrong way.
I would have been there on time, but every intersection I came to was a full-cycle red light. Consequently, I was 15 minutes late for the Boss's meeting. FML.
Full-cycle red light by Markwonder October 28, 2010
Law of wrong way
The law of wrong way states that: "While driving in the city, any missed or wrong turn and subsequent backtracking to find your original route will be met by frustratingly slow moving traffic and red lights at every intersection.
Many, if not all of these red lights will be Full-cycle red lights."
Many, if not all of these red lights will be Full-cycle red lights."
While trying to find the corporate building downtown, I missed my turn and ended up backtracking an extra 3 miles, through 4 busy intersections, while following two old ladies, a Vespa scooter and a garbage truck. The law of wrong way was in effect.
Needless to say, I missed the Boss's luncheon and didn't get the promotion. FML.
Needless to say, I missed the Boss's luncheon and didn't get the promotion. FML.
Law of wrong way by Markwonder October 28, 2010
Wiseacre
That Emmet Wickersham is a real wiseacre, I tell you. I caught him stealing checkers off the board while I was looking at Lawrence Welk on the television set." "If he tries that just one more time, I'm calling the nurse."
Wiseacre by Markwonder August 30, 2010
Smart-ass
While visiting Kopp's frozen custard shop in Milwaukee where smart-ass Custard Shop Manager Scott Borkin was on duty, Vice President Joe Biden was sampling some of the tasty treats.
Biden: "What do I owe you for the delicious custard?"
Smart-ass Custard Shop Manager Scott Borkin: “Don’t worry, it’s on the house. … Lower our taxes and we’ll call it even.”
Biden: “Why don’t you say something nice instead of being a Smart–ass all the time?”
Smart-ass Custard Shop Manager Scott Borkin: (Thinking) This motherfucker just lost my vote.
Biden: "What do I owe you for the delicious custard?"
Smart-ass Custard Shop Manager Scott Borkin: “Don’t worry, it’s on the house. … Lower our taxes and we’ll call it even.”
Biden: “Why don’t you say something nice instead of being a Smart–ass all the time?”
Smart-ass Custard Shop Manager Scott Borkin: (Thinking) This motherfucker just lost my vote.
Smart-ass by markwonder August 30, 2010
Hypocrite
A hypocrite is someone who is critical of a certain practice when they themselves are engaging in the very same practice.
Anyone who supports illegal immigration in Arizona yet maintains locks on the doors of their homes and businesses to keep people from just walking in and taking anything they may need to make a better life for themselves or their families is a hypocrite.
Hypocrite by Markwonder May 14, 2010