Definitions by magickdio
gAy Team
What the A team should have been called. When do you ever see a buff black dude dripping in gold chains and showing his nipples at every available opportunity unless you're in a gay bar? Couple that with an awful lot of time spent in a van, going from town to town with a bunch of skinny white guys. One is mentally disturbed because he can't deal with the fact that he's gay, one is the token gay pretty boy and the other is a silver haired, cigar smoking bloke that can only be described as perfect pimp material. Add that to the fact that none of them fancy or make a move on the reporter and voila! You've got a very dodgy gaymobile trawling the country for fresh meat.
"The A team is composed entirely of gay circus freaks. It's the gAy Team"
"This definition of The A team will enrage certain individuals, but seriously- what do you think happens between weekly episodes, huh? Guys have needs and they clearly need man ass. They're the gAy Team. Ha!"
"This definition of The A team will enrage certain individuals, but seriously- what do you think happens between weekly episodes, huh? Guys have needs and they clearly need man ass. They're the gAy Team. Ha!"
Sex Fairy
A magical being, of which there are thousands. They fly around and use their powers to make unlikely sex situations happen. It's up for debate as to whether or not these creatures work for the greater good. For example, sex faries will have made it possible for the school geek to sleep with the school stud. Excellent for the reputation of the geek, but total social disaster for the stud.
Sex faries work better in situations where copious alcohol is applied to all parties, or when a high degree of lust renders the targets unable to function correctly. (Sex faries can be prayed to if desperate, and are more likely to exist than God)
Sex faries work better in situations where copious alcohol is applied to all parties, or when a high degree of lust renders the targets unable to function correctly. (Sex faries can be prayed to if desperate, and are more likely to exist than God)
-"Hey Steve, I hear you slept with Tina. What possessed you?"
-"There must have been some bloody sex faries in the air. I will never live this down"
-"Oh Magical Sex Fairy, please please PLEASE let me have one night with Danny, and I'll never ask for anything again, I swear!"
-"There must have been some bloody sex faries in the air. I will never live this down"
-"Oh Magical Sex Fairy, please please PLEASE let me have one night with Danny, and I'll never ask for anything again, I swear!"
Ah, I see
1)
The standard response when you still don't understand what has been explained to you, but simply cannot tolerate any more of the conversation. It must be used sparingly however, as overuse of "Ah, I see" will lead them to enquire as to what it is that you "see", and then you're fucked.
2)
The sarcastic response for when the information that someone expects you to understand is so vastly complicated and pointless that you could slap them out of sheer frustration. Usually said with more emphasis on the "see" part of the phrase.
The standard response when you still don't understand what has been explained to you, but simply cannot tolerate any more of the conversation. It must be used sparingly however, as overuse of "Ah, I see" will lead them to enquire as to what it is that you "see", and then you're fucked.
2)
The sarcastic response for when the information that someone expects you to understand is so vastly complicated and pointless that you could slap them out of sheer frustration. Usually said with more emphasis on the "see" part of the phrase.
1)
Man- ".....and those are the differences between multi-port fuel injection and throttle body fuel injection"
Woman- "Ah, I see"
2)
Woman- ".....and that's how I know that you did what you did and said what you said on monday night, because Gemma said that Rachel said that Alan said that Dan said that he knew someone who saw you there!!"
Man- "Ah, I see"
Man- ".....and those are the differences between multi-port fuel injection and throttle body fuel injection"
Woman- "Ah, I see"
2)
Woman- ".....and that's how I know that you did what you did and said what you said on monday night, because Gemma said that Rachel said that Alan said that Dan said that he knew someone who saw you there!!"
Man- "Ah, I see"
Fuck Nemesis
Like a fuck buddy except this person isn't your buddy in any way shape or form. You have nothing but contempt, loathing and disgust for each other as people. Yet you call them or receive a text from them every time you're lonely or they're horny and you get it on. There will be no talking, except to trade insults. You will have no need to discuss "keeping this a secret" as you're both too ashamed to reveal this to anyone.
Ex's, long term partners and co workers can all become Fuck Nemeses.
Ex's, long term partners and co workers can all become Fuck Nemeses.
"Dear Diary,
I felt sad and lonely so I called Clive to come over and we had sex, after he called me a fat bitch. Oh, I need a boyfriend, not a fuck nemesis."
"Can't be bothered to try and pull or be nice to anyone. Time to call my fuck nemesis"
I felt sad and lonely so I called Clive to come over and we had sex, after he called me a fat bitch. Oh, I need a boyfriend, not a fuck nemesis."
"Can't be bothered to try and pull or be nice to anyone. Time to call my fuck nemesis"
Fuck Nemesis by MagickDio February 18, 2010
Secret Sergeant
Like Secret Santa in that one person delivers something to another, and the recipient was unaware that it was heading their way. Except that the delivery is not a Christmas gift, it's an epic bollocking.
1) One of your friends or family will ultimately humiliate you and make you want to die on the spot. Secret Sergeant encompasses the art of working out which one of the fuckers it will be, eg- one of them is secretly waiting to tear you to shreds, Sgt. style, and the rest of them probably know about it.
2) If you're quietly waiting for the best moment to crush your friend's/lover's/sister's or otherwise acquainted or related person's world, and you have discussed it with others, you are the Secret Sergeant. The way you get your kicks is by not being discovered by your intended target, and getting that moment of sweet, sweet satisfaction when the unsuspecting person falls apart before your eyes. A good Secret Sergeant could wipe the smile off a leprechaun's face.
1) One of your friends or family will ultimately humiliate you and make you want to die on the spot. Secret Sergeant encompasses the art of working out which one of the fuckers it will be, eg- one of them is secretly waiting to tear you to shreds, Sgt. style, and the rest of them probably know about it.
2) If you're quietly waiting for the best moment to crush your friend's/lover's/sister's or otherwise acquainted or related person's world, and you have discussed it with others, you are the Secret Sergeant. The way you get your kicks is by not being discovered by your intended target, and getting that moment of sweet, sweet satisfaction when the unsuspecting person falls apart before your eyes. A good Secret Sergeant could wipe the smile off a leprechaun's face.
"One of them is going to go all Secret Sergeant about me running off to vegas and getting married....I need to know which one it is"
"He cried his eyes out. He didn't even see it coming, and I didn't care for his weak and pathetic tears. I went totally Secret Sergeant on him!"
"He cried his eyes out. He didn't even see it coming, and I didn't care for his weak and pathetic tears. I went totally Secret Sergeant on him!"
Secret Sergeant by MagickDio February 17, 2010
Knobsessed
A complete knob jockeying slut, be they male or female. So obsessed with penises, that they don't even notice the guy attached to it. Every workplace, town and secondary school has one of these "knobsessed" individuals. Teenagers and middle aged guys often fall victim to the knobsessed. You can recognise them by their trousers (which are too tight) and their hair (which is too bleached/dyed/straightened/backcombed) and by their voice (which is too loud).
Ed- "Look at Tracey chatting up Darren"
Meg- "Ewww, he's a freak of nature!"
Ed- "I know, the girl is totally knobsessed"
"Donna didn't recognise me in town, even though we shagged last week. I think she was just knobsessed with me"
Meg- "Ewww, he's a freak of nature!"
Ed- "I know, the girl is totally knobsessed"
"Donna didn't recognise me in town, even though we shagged last week. I think she was just knobsessed with me"
Knobsessed by MagickDio February 8, 2010
Oven Eye
Oven Eye occurs when a female wearing mascara opens an oven door and bends to peer in instantly, before allowing the steam to escape. The resulting rush of moist heat to the face causes the mascara to react and seriously clump the eyelashes together, making it appear that each eye has a few short, black horns per eyelid, instead of curling, dark lashes.
"Bollocks! I'm going to have to go and do my makeup again, I've got oven eye!"
"Check out those false eyelashes, she looks like she's got oven eye"
"Check out those false eyelashes, she looks like she's got oven eye"