1)Moisturiser for men is Boysturiser. There's nothing wrong with a bit of moisturiser, but these products earn the term "boysturiser" because of their aggressive packaging. All coloured in various shades of "gun" with a bright trim, as if to say "This is a serious product, it's dangerous. But not so dangerous that it will burn your face off.It's safe to use. But ONLY by Real Men". Males who are concerned about looking "gay" for caring about their skin will purchase boysturiser. Men who don't give a damn how people perceive them will either use their partners moisturiser, buy a supermarket own brand, or buy whichever one was closest to them on the shelf at the time. As far as today's men are concerned, there are those who moisturise, and those who boysturise.
2) Men claim to women that they've "heard" that semen is good for the skin, in an attempt to have them readily agree to a dose to the face. They say it jokingly, but ever hopefully that the woman will say, "Really?? Because I've tried everything to get rid of this dry skin, but not that. Come on then, I want it all over" Because of this ridiculous male perpetrated myth, guys across the world are still self advertising the marvellous properties of their own "boysturiser". With a handy dispenser! Just stroke, rub and aim to achieve desired results! Satisfaction guaranteed! (note- satisfaction guarantee applies to dispensing party only.)
2) Men claim to women that they've "heard" that semen is good for the skin, in an attempt to have them readily agree to a dose to the face. They say it jokingly, but ever hopefully that the woman will say, "Really?? Because I've tried everything to get rid of this dry skin, but not that. Come on then, I want it all over" Because of this ridiculous male perpetrated myth, guys across the world are still self advertising the marvellous properties of their own "boysturiser". With a handy dispenser! Just stroke, rub and aim to achieve desired results! Satisfaction guaranteed! (note- satisfaction guarantee applies to dispensing party only.)
1) "Greg's just gone and spent £30 on boysturiser, when he could have got the same stuff from Asda for £10."
2) "I thought that the date was going well until he mentioned he had something to help my dry skin problem"
"Oh no, did he offer his boysturiser?"
"He sure did. And went home alone, presumably to boysturise his own right hand"
2) "I thought that the date was going well until he mentioned he had something to help my dry skin problem"
"Oh no, did he offer his boysturiser?"
"He sure did. And went home alone, presumably to boysturise his own right hand"
by MagickDio March 18, 2010
Someone who licks pussy like it's the only thing they want to do. A cunnilingerer will not move away the second the orgasm has subsided, but will slowly start working up to a second one like the legend that they are. It's not a duty to these guys, it's a delicious, slippery privilege and they make that only too clear.
Guys- if you're not one of these tongue genuises, then become one. The world would be a much nicer place if we abolished fellate hate and made every guy a cunnilingerer.
Guys- if you're not one of these tongue genuises, then become one. The world would be a much nicer place if we abolished fellate hate and made every guy a cunnilingerer.
"I had such a good time with that random other I took home on Friday. He was a cunnilingerer- I almost regret not getting his name and number"
by MagickDio April 23, 2010
The term "Scouse Logic" is applied to anything unsavoury or scummy suggested or perpetrated by somebody else. It comes from the idea that Scousers are, in general, the least human of all UK residents and behave like coke fuelled Nazi's at the best of times. Not all people from Liverpool are Scousers, but the ones that are should be easy to spot. The children eat nothing but pie and crisps, whilst their fathers regularly eat pavement and swallow their own teeth after picking yet another senseless fight. Nobody knows much about the mothers, you can rarely find them.
"We should drag that wrestler to the floor and give him a kicking."
"Seriously? You're seriously suggesting that we......ah, mate, that's Scouse Logic!!"
"Seriously? You're seriously suggesting that we......ah, mate, that's Scouse Logic!!"
by MagickDio March 06, 2010
What the A team should have been called. When do you ever see a buff black dude dripping in gold chains and showing his nipples at every available opportunity unless you're in a gay bar? Couple that with an awful lot of time spent in a van, going from town to town with a bunch of skinny white guys. One is mentally disturbed because he can't deal with the fact that he's gay, one is the token gay pretty boy and the other is a silver haired, cigar smoking bloke that can only be described as perfect pimp material. Add that to the fact that none of them fancy or make a move on the reporter and voila! You've got a very dodgy gaymobile trawling the country for fresh meat.
"The A team is composed entirely of gay circus freaks. It's the gAy Team"
"This definition of The A team will enrage certain individuals, but seriously- what do you think happens between weekly episodes, huh? Guys have needs and they clearly need man ass. They're the gAy Team. Ha!"
"This definition of The A team will enrage certain individuals, but seriously- what do you think happens between weekly episodes, huh? Guys have needs and they clearly need man ass. They're the gAy Team. Ha!"
by MagickDio February 26, 2010
Spar-GER; the cheap, bitter, drain-cleaning-fluid-like substance contained within generic white cans and sold as lager at your local Spar. Essentially, it is carbonated tramp piss.
"I've only got £2 to get collins'ed on. Looks like I'd better buy a 12 pack of Sparger"
"He said it was Corona, but it literally took the skin from the inside of my mouth. I'm sure it was Sparger"
"He said it was Corona, but it literally took the skin from the inside of my mouth. I'm sure it was Sparger"
by MagickDio February 04, 2010
Non existent ideal. The term embodies the unrealistic expectations of magazines/society/men when it comes to mothers. Magical Mummy can cook, clean, do arts and crafts with the kiddies, sew, wash, walk the dog and fuck like a pornstar without even ruffling her perfect hair. She is never to be found languishing on the sofa whilst the kids run riot, nor does she drink wine and sob in the evenings, looking at the pile of ironing and wondering what the fuck happened to her life.
Most men will claim to their wives (in a foolish attempt to create their prefect world) that their own mothers attained Magical Mummy status.
Most men will claim to their wives (in a foolish attempt to create their prefect world) that their own mothers attained Magical Mummy status.
"He asked me why I hadn't been able to iron his uniform as well as make the dinner and clean the kitchen. As if I'm some kind of Magical Mummy!"
"I told him to piss off to his Magical Mummy, and let her run around like a twat for him"
"Make your own dinner, I'm busy doing this! I'm not your Magical Mummy!"
"I told him to piss off to his Magical Mummy, and let her run around like a twat for him"
"Make your own dinner, I'm busy doing this! I'm not your Magical Mummy!"
by MagickDio February 05, 2010
"I've been wanting to fuck him for months. I wouldn't have wasted my time if I'd known it was gonna be a bloody quick- fire round"
"Last night, I was so horny from browsing online porn, I had to wake the missus up for a quick-fire round"
"I only had a few minutes to knock one off the wrist before my mum came home. Bit of a quick-fire round"
"Last night, I was so horny from browsing online porn, I had to wake the missus up for a quick-fire round"
"I only had a few minutes to knock one off the wrist before my mum came home. Bit of a quick-fire round"
by MagickDio February 04, 2010