Random:
1. Someone of little significance
2. Everyone that you don't know and some that you do
Bogan:
1. Trailer trash
2. Your mother
3. see above
4. Look around, they are everywhere. Can often be found at Safeway or exploring Woolly bush while wearing a flannelette shirt, black acca-dacca t-shirt or wife basher singlet as well as tight black jeans and desert boots (DB's).
There are three main keys to correctly identifying a Bogan:
1. The obligatory packet of wini-blues rolled up in the sleeve to draw attention to the guns that they have developed from years of being a wanker;
2. The stubby or can of Victoria Bitter (VB); which also proves how little taste and class Bogans possess; and
3. The 'Mullet' the haircut with its own motto:
'Business at the front, party at the back'
in some circles also referred to as:
'Party at the back, business at the front'
Either way it is still a shit haircut
Random Bogan:
Look in the mirror; tell me what you see
1. Someone of little significance
2. Everyone that you don't know and some that you do
Bogan:
1. Trailer trash
2. Your mother
3. see above
4. Look around, they are everywhere. Can often be found at Safeway or exploring Woolly bush while wearing a flannelette shirt, black acca-dacca t-shirt or wife basher singlet as well as tight black jeans and desert boots (DB's).
There are three main keys to correctly identifying a Bogan:
1. The obligatory packet of wini-blues rolled up in the sleeve to draw attention to the guns that they have developed from years of being a wanker;
2. The stubby or can of Victoria Bitter (VB); which also proves how little taste and class Bogans possess; and
3. The 'Mullet' the haircut with its own motto:
'Business at the front, party at the back'
in some circles also referred to as:
'Party at the back, business at the front'
Either way it is still a shit haircut
Random Bogan:
Look in the mirror; tell me what you see
I wish these Random Bogans would just get out of my way
There are so many Random Bogans here; it is not hot. I would go so far as to say that it is so Luke warm here right now
So little air, so many Random Bogans
Your mother is a Random Bogan.
That makes your father a 'Random Bogan Mother Fucker'.
Guess that must really suck for you; good thing that as you are also a Random Bogan, no-one really gives a fuck
Harden the fuck up; stop being a Random Bogan
There are so many Random Bogans here; it is not hot. I would go so far as to say that it is so Luke warm here right now
So little air, so many Random Bogans
Your mother is a Random Bogan.
That makes your father a 'Random Bogan Mother Fucker'.
Guess that must really suck for you; good thing that as you are also a Random Bogan, no-one really gives a fuck
Harden the fuck up; stop being a Random Bogan
by Luke Warm July 11, 2008
Time to go to work - I need to be held
I have a cold - I need to be held
My house fell over - I really need to be held.
I need to be held is also a very effective way of hurting someone (if you are that way inclined (Refer: Bogan or Succubus):
"I need to be held, but not by you"
Trust me, it doesnt feel good
I have a cold - I need to be held
My house fell over - I really need to be held.
I need to be held is also a very effective way of hurting someone (if you are that way inclined (Refer: Bogan or Succubus):
"I need to be held, but not by you"
Trust me, it doesnt feel good
by Luke Warm July 19, 2008
The following is a guide to relationships; it is written by someone who has never had a complete relationship and is therefore considered to be potentially objective 'n stuff
Guide to relationships
Primary requirements for a happy relationship:
Love
Honesty
Respect
Trust
Faith
Without all five of the aforementioned prerequisites; at least one of the participents will never be truly happy.
The key to a successful relationship is communication. Open and honest communication ensures that there are no problems, no doubts. If you are in love with someone, you have nothing to hide from them or from yourself.
To be honest with others, you must first be honest with yourself.
You do know when you are making the wrong decision; what is the point of lying to yourself? You still know the truth - thats just silly.
It is too easy to talk yourself into the wrong choice; it is just as easy to make the right choice and it just gets easier.
Honesty requires very little brain power and instead of hurting the ones who love you; it makes them stronger.
A relationship must be balanced!
You are equals in every way
You both make the decisions, you both take responsibility
Its all about love; not money, not power, not intelligence - just love.
Primary requirements for a happy relationship:
Love
Honesty
Respect
Trust
Faith
Without all five of the aforementioned prerequisites; at least one of the participents will never be truly happy.
The key to a successful relationship is communication. Open and honest communication ensures that there are no problems, no doubts. If you are in love with someone, you have nothing to hide from them or from yourself.
To be honest with others, you must first be honest with yourself.
You do know when you are making the wrong decision; what is the point of lying to yourself? You still know the truth - thats just silly.
It is too easy to talk yourself into the wrong choice; it is just as easy to make the right choice and it just gets easier.
Honesty requires very little brain power and instead of hurting the ones who love you; it makes them stronger.
A relationship must be balanced!
You are equals in every way
You both make the decisions, you both take responsibility
Its all about love; not money, not power, not intelligence - just love.
by luke warm August 29, 2008
Bella, my soul was always yours from before time.
you are not a Succubus; you have claimed what is rightfully yours and i gave it freely.
you are not a Succubus; you have claimed what is rightfully yours and i gave it freely.
by Luke Warm August 21, 2008
When one becomes vacant during an activity and appears to be staring off into space
The stares occur due to a lack of interest in the local environment, activity or people due to too much self interest and the attention span of a stoned butterfly that flunked out of butterfly primary school in the 3rd grade for licking bus windows instead of innuendo laden flower parts.
The stares occur due to a lack of interest in the local environment, activity or people due to too much self interest and the attention span of a stoned butterfly that flunked out of butterfly primary school in the 3rd grade for licking bus windows instead of innuendo laden flower parts.
NotaBogan: ...It means a lot to me; I cant even begin to tell you how much of a difference this could make ...are you even listening?
ABogan4sure: Umm, what?, sorry Bogan I must have had the stares
NotaBogan: Well thank you for making me feel less than random yet again
ABogan4sure: Oh harden the fuck up and stop being a bogan
NotaBogan: I am so sorry that you have done something to hurt me again and blamed me for it. How could I be so thoughtless as to have feelings.
ABogan4sure: I dont have the energy for this any more
NotaBogan: You are truly the most Awesome friend
The example above may appear a tad random and ‘NotaBogan’ may also appear to be over-reacting somewhat; however, repeated episodes of the stares do tend to add up and become rather annoying (refer: Tracey Smiff)
Wednesday 05/11/2008
ABogan4sure: Umm, what?, sorry Bogan I must have had the stares
NotaBogan: Well thank you for making me feel less than random yet again
ABogan4sure: Oh harden the fuck up and stop being a bogan
NotaBogan: I am so sorry that you have done something to hurt me again and blamed me for it. How could I be so thoughtless as to have feelings.
ABogan4sure: I dont have the energy for this any more
NotaBogan: You are truly the most Awesome friend
The example above may appear a tad random and ‘NotaBogan’ may also appear to be over-reacting somewhat; however, repeated episodes of the stares do tend to add up and become rather annoying (refer: Tracey Smiff)
Wednesday 05/11/2008
by Luke Warm December 20, 2008
Abstaining from sexual activities for whatever reason
Cliff Richard is a member of the Church of Cliff Richard (I have my own doubts on the validity of his claim though)
Cliff Richard is a member of the Church of Cliff Richard (I have my own doubts on the validity of his claim though)
There are a wide variety of circumstances/choices that may qualify one for induction into the Church of Cliff Richard.
These include but are certainly not limited to:
1. Lack of interest
2. Lack of opportunity
3. Lack of effort
4. Lack of time
5. Lack of intelligence
6. Lack of self esteem/self worth/meaning/ego/gerbils/etc
7. Lack of puberty
8. Lack of appendages (apologies to those lacking appendages. Second hand hardly used or virgin appendages can be purchased at the gift shop of your local ‘Cliff’ – most of these have been repeatedly polished to perfection by experts in their field)
9. Physically unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
10. Emotionally unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
11. Morally unattractive to that which you are attracted to. (not necessarily a bad thing if they are evil n’ stuff, Bogans,)
12. Financially unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
13. Painful history/ poor choice in previous co-pilots on the airship of love
Excerpt from ‘The big book of Cliff – Chapter 11 The toe of the camel, verse 8:
And Cliffs half-brother Ralph’s next door neighbour’s grand daughter’s friend’s uncle did sayeth:
“I do believe there is at least one soul mate out there for everyone.
But there are approximately 6,869,575,369 (Six Billion, eight hundred and sixty nine million, five hundred and seventy five thousand, three hundred and sixty nine) people on this planet (most of them Bogans – that is a truck load of Bogans) at the moment; give up now, more chance of winning the lottery than finding true love. There is also the possibility that your soul mate could be born on the day that you die at the ripe old age of 267 after an extremely long, lonely, boring and meaningless life; that would kind of suck, but on the bright side you would be dead so you wouldn’t know anyway ”
Go Cliff, its ya birfday
…on Monday 14/10/1940
Hmm… “Monday’s child is fair of face” – too true, Cliff always did have very nice facial skin – very tanned for a Pom, very tanned indeed.
Luke Warm is a proud (refer: tool) member of the Church of Cliff Richard
While this is not a philosophy that I preach in the streets; it is who I am and is very important to me (refer: tool).
Anything or anyone that has an issue with my beliefs is more than welcome to do whatever they wish as long as it does not involve turning me on in anyway. You have been warned, I will most likely explode …and then some from any external stimuli regardless of whether it be emotional or physical.
Remember kids…
“It is indeed rad and hot to be Cliff
You cannot get hurt if you do not have feelings.
Close your heart and your soul, limit your mind; be one with nothing.”
Saturday 20/12/2008
These include but are certainly not limited to:
1. Lack of interest
2. Lack of opportunity
3. Lack of effort
4. Lack of time
5. Lack of intelligence
6. Lack of self esteem/self worth/meaning/ego/gerbils/etc
7. Lack of puberty
8. Lack of appendages (apologies to those lacking appendages. Second hand hardly used or virgin appendages can be purchased at the gift shop of your local ‘Cliff’ – most of these have been repeatedly polished to perfection by experts in their field)
9. Physically unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
10. Emotionally unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
11. Morally unattractive to that which you are attracted to. (not necessarily a bad thing if they are evil n’ stuff, Bogans,)
12. Financially unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
13. Painful history/ poor choice in previous co-pilots on the airship of love
Excerpt from ‘The big book of Cliff – Chapter 11 The toe of the camel, verse 8:
And Cliffs half-brother Ralph’s next door neighbour’s grand daughter’s friend’s uncle did sayeth:
“I do believe there is at least one soul mate out there for everyone.
But there are approximately 6,869,575,369 (Six Billion, eight hundred and sixty nine million, five hundred and seventy five thousand, three hundred and sixty nine) people on this planet (most of them Bogans – that is a truck load of Bogans) at the moment; give up now, more chance of winning the lottery than finding true love. There is also the possibility that your soul mate could be born on the day that you die at the ripe old age of 267 after an extremely long, lonely, boring and meaningless life; that would kind of suck, but on the bright side you would be dead so you wouldn’t know anyway ”
Go Cliff, its ya birfday
…on Monday 14/10/1940
Hmm… “Monday’s child is fair of face” – too true, Cliff always did have very nice facial skin – very tanned for a Pom, very tanned indeed.
Luke Warm is a proud (refer: tool) member of the Church of Cliff Richard
While this is not a philosophy that I preach in the streets; it is who I am and is very important to me (refer: tool).
Anything or anyone that has an issue with my beliefs is more than welcome to do whatever they wish as long as it does not involve turning me on in anyway. You have been warned, I will most likely explode …and then some from any external stimuli regardless of whether it be emotional or physical.
Remember kids…
“It is indeed rad and hot to be Cliff
You cannot get hurt if you do not have feelings.
Close your heart and your soul, limit your mind; be one with nothing.”
Saturday 20/12/2008
by Luke Warm December 22, 2008
Imagine this senario:
You assertively walk into another room, you are focused, you have a purpose. People stop and stare because they can see you are not taking silver; small animals scurry with fervour away from your approaching footsteps; the clock ticks one last time....
You enter the room, you have reached your destination, the treasure is almost within your grasp; you can almost taste it, you want it oh so bad.
But then...
You have absolutely no idea what you were looking for or why you got off of your hot arse in the first place.
You retrace your steps; try ever so hard to remember what you were even doing, and just keep drawing blanks.
You have just experienced 'The Wanders'
You assertively walk into another room, you are focused, you have a purpose. People stop and stare because they can see you are not taking silver; small animals scurry with fervour away from your approaching footsteps; the clock ticks one last time....
You enter the room, you have reached your destination, the treasure is almost within your grasp; you can almost taste it, you want it oh so bad.
But then...
You have absolutely no idea what you were looking for or why you got off of your hot arse in the first place.
You retrace your steps; try ever so hard to remember what you were even doing, and just keep drawing blanks.
You have just experienced 'The Wanders'
Sandy: What are you looking for Bella?
Bella: Huh?
Sandy: Fair enough
Bella: Sorry boganface, just got the wanders
Sandy: It happens; maybe if you smoke a few Jades you will remember what the fuck you were looking for
Bella: Nah, i got it now; have you seen my lilac dolphin dildo?
Sandy: Ummm... yeah, Im keeping it warm for you
Bella: You are a sick fuck Sandy; definately time for treasure now
Bella: Huh?
Sandy: Fair enough
Bella: Sorry boganface, just got the wanders
Sandy: It happens; maybe if you smoke a few Jades you will remember what the fuck you were looking for
Bella: Nah, i got it now; have you seen my lilac dolphin dildo?
Sandy: Ummm... yeah, Im keeping it warm for you
Bella: You are a sick fuck Sandy; definately time for treasure now
by Luke Warm September 05, 2008