keldard's definitions

Blobbing

noun- A round of sloppy felatio

Sarah was blobbing me off gloriously, until I looked down and noticed it was Hank all along. Hank...what a kidder!

by keldard February 20, 2011

Assburgers syndrome

A rare genetic condition which targets the gluteal muscles of adult humans, transforming them, over time, into a sandwich.

Janquilence: But I thought assburgers syndrome was-
Snansthony: Nope. It's this

by keldard May 31, 2020

sweenis

noun- when something is so sweet, it's probably a penis.

Gemma- I've got great boobs!
Kyle- Really?
Gemma- Absolutely!
Kyle- Sweenis, yo.

by keldard February 20, 2011

Zipsters

slang term for "pizza" commonly used in the UK, particularly in Liverpool.

"ring us up a couple zipsters on the telly, mate."

"please pass me a sloice of that zipsters, me curly."

by keldard May 21, 2024

truckstop breakfast

noun- The truckstop breakfast emerged out of long distances between service stops, hemorrhoids, and man-hunger. Usually performed as 'soixante-neuf' (or 69), two typically bearded truck drivers gingerly nibble one another's hemorrhoids until both are satiated.

...but the third truckstop breakfast was just right, and so she ate it all up.

by keldard February 20, 2011

Meat-seeking gristle

meat-seeking gristle noun \ˈpē-nəs\

: the part of the body of men and male animals that is used for sex and through which urine leaves the body

Chad: "My boss is a real meat-seeking gristle head."

Barbara: "I know that you're proud of your new word, and it's not the least clever play on words I've ever heard from you, but-"

Chad: "MEAT-SEEKING GRISTLE!!!"

by keldard June 8, 2014

Cunty McTittyballs

A notorious 17th century sex-worker, known for her big ol set of titty balls.

Little known fact, that despite all the attention to her tittyballs, those who knew here best spoke quite fondly of what Cunty was able to pull out of her ass. Legend has it that she once stored a Leprechaun on her insides for three glorious nights.

Cunty McTittyballs was real and this is a real source of information that is trustworthy.

by keldard January 30, 2019