keifermail's definitions

Tards

Simply, the plural form of the word tard. More than one tard.

Democrats are tards!

by keifermail September 22, 2009

Sham Wowed

The moment of truth that occurs when you find out something you thought was really great is really all a facade. see Sham

I just got sham wowed. I was checking out this hot chicks ass and she turned around and 'snap' dude looked like a lady!

by keifermail September 30, 2009

low riders

Refers to homosexual men wearing their pants low on the hip to expose colorful underwear in an attempt to attract a mate. The low riding pants signifies easy access to the mans rear compartment and not so subtly letting the other man know that he is on the down low. Originated in American prisons as a form of peacocking around the cell block. See alsoteardrop tattoo.

"Since I been wearing my FUBU's low riders style, I been getting hit on by dudes everywhere I go."

by keifermail August 8, 2009

Asskissitis

Contagious disease that is caused by employees seeing others getting promoted by kissing the bosses ass and they follow suit. Symptoms include brown nose and lips with blindness to the bosses ineptitude.

Have you seen how brown Sheila's lips are lately, looks like she has a bad case of asskissitis.

by keifermail June 29, 2009

Beer Vest

n. a drunks belief that no harm will befell them whilst engaged in risky behavior. Usually directly correlated to the amount of alcohol consumed. Not to be confused with Drunk Luck whereas most drunks are able to avoid injury when in accidents.

"Once he got his Beer Vest on, he jumped from the roof into the shallow end of the pool."

"Billy spent half the night putting on his Beer Vest, then he jumped off the dock and wrestled the gator."

by keifermail August 21, 2008

too much loft

Is a sarcastic derogatory double entendre , usually made after a terrible golf shot. The key is the acronym l.o.f.t. meaning lack of fucking talent. It is best used against an unsuspecting victim who presumes by loft you mean the loft of the golf club.

Playing partner, "I think you had too much loft on that shot."
Shot maker, "No, I just caught it a little fat."
Playing partner, "By L.O.F.T. I meant lack of fucking talent, dillweed."

by keifermail August 23, 2008

Shit Flavored Air

An unexpectantly raunchy patch of foul smelling air caused by a nasty fart. A delicacy in the right setting- see dutch oven. Usually the culprit is unknown (see SBD) and most often it is caused by random crop dusting.

Scott- "Did you taste that?"
Tap- "I smelt it."
Scott- "Shit flavored air!"

by keifermail August 8, 2009