jellypuddinginmyanus42069's definitions

COVID-Munging

This is a variant of munging in which the corpse to be munged is a victim of the coronavirus, who is acquired via a local nursing home. To ensure proper social distancing, the participating individual who loses the coin toss, rock-paper-scissors, or other contest of choice, pops an experimental dick-enlarging pill which extends the participant’s penile length to 6 feet, in addition to donning a face mask with a slit cut out in the middle in order to allow the expelled mung and corona juice mixture (hence “COVID-mung”) to enter the perpetrator’s orifice(s) in an internationally acceptable manner.

Zack: Hey Cody, you wanna head over to the old folk’s home?

Cody: Yea sure... Why? You volunteering or something?

Zack: No, I just have a real strong hankering to perform a COVID-Munging on one of the former residents. Since I haven’t been able to get any quarantine pussy, I figured this’d be the next best thing to give my dick a nice kickstart.
Cody: You’re sick. What the fuck is wrong with you?
(Cody leaves the room only to quickly return, walking past Zack with the car keys)
Cody: C’mon you sick bastard, let’s go. Some old woman named Ethyl that I used to help just died and the way she put her muffins in the oven always made me sweat a bit.

by jellypuddinginmyanus42069 July 6, 2020

shotgun skeet

noun • an action occuring through an eccentric orgasm in which the eruption of the ejaculate was so powerful that it killed the individual into whom it was shot, mimicking a shotgun spray

Jack: Yo, I let out a shotgun skeet and killed my girlfriend Emilia last night while we were bangin’. It’s not like it mattered she was just a woman.

Jason: Oh shit, that’s not good. How’d you hide the body?

Jack: I just tossed it out my window lol. Who gives a fuck?

Jason: Yea true.

by jellypuddinginmyanus42069 August 5, 2018

sympathy suck

noun • As per the name, a exuberantly ripe and spritely suck bestowed upon he most deserving of immediate sympathy, unable to be sufficiently provided otherwise. Such a rite is usually provided by the nearest willing female, who performs any sex act you may desire out of compassion for your sorry state.

Ben: hey sexy wanna smash?
Maggie: nah, fuck off creep
Ben: But I have stage 4 testicular cancer and don’t have long.
Maggie: In that case, come get your sympathy suck and I’ll make whatever time you have left worthwhile ;).
Ben: Ahahaha ueh
Maggie: (acckk uehhhh *#!& it’s so big and cancerous ueh)

by jellypuddinginmyanus42069 December 28, 2019

Betty Whiter

a term referencing older women, post-intercourse, who are covered in ejaculate

Tim: Oh hey, Rob, don’t go in our room just yet. I’ve got a Betty Whiter in there and I’m trying to milk her for her inheritance.

by jellypuddinginmyanus42069 December 4, 2020

lumber liquidator

noun • a manner of reference to a characteristically vitriolic bitch who is either possessive of the predisposition to, or who has previously undertaken the action of removing the male phallic organ, usually subsequent to becoming enraged and overcome by her own flippant and ungainly emotions, to the point of performing such a heinous and vengeful act. Furthermore, such dismemberment is usually accomplished via the utilization of a sharp object, or potentially one that is comparatively duller if the perpetrator desires for a more lengthy and torturous removal and later thrown into adjacent vegetation and/or woods in order to secure difficulty in locating the separated life-giving essence of the human race.

Also see peter eskeeter

Anthony: Awww shucks, that lumber liquidator Maggie done got me, looks like imma be stuck without my ween. Guess I’ll get back to sitting on my ass. Ueh ueh ueh

by jellypuddinginmyanus42069 January 11, 2020

Harold

the primordial sexual being and lord of lust who, despite sexually mutilating his wife, forbade her from using contraceptives and, even after rearing many children, ravaged her uterus post-menopause

Sap: Harold, I know you can’t get get enough of my bussin’ pussy but you’ve kept me locked in this sex dungeon for ten years and you won’t even acknowledge when I say the safe word! Peanut, Harold, peanut!!
Harold: …

by jellypuddinginmyanus42069 June 12, 2021

cocksand

noun • a residue typically left from dried ejaculate; a type of homemade cocaine substitute (no it will not get you high but it might get you pregnant)

Grandpa Dick: Honey come here and choke on my cocksand
Grandma Rosanne: Ewwww you’re an ornery 69 year old that’s just ur old nasty cum it’s not like u have any left. I’m just gonna hit this line of coke real quick I ain’t trying to set a record for oldest mama.

by jellypuddinginmyanus42069 August 5, 2018