Definitions by james

Volvo

'Guy Speak': Acronym. Meaning Very Old Loose Vaginal Opening. Used to cover up the fact they are talking about a womans nasty genitals after childbirth...when either in the company of women or not.

"My Volvo just doesn't perform the way it used to."

"Damn, she's got a Volvo down there"

"My wife's Volvo has far too many miles on it, it's impossible to even get it to tunrover in the morning."

Volvo by James March 7, 2004

lily whites 

Slang: My big fat white ass-cheeks.

You can kiss my lily whites!

lily whites by James March 6, 2004

Everyone is Different 

Common phrase used by Very attractive women to tell 'loser guys' she is not at all interested in his Star Wars collector cups...nor is she interested in his sexual turn on's and fantacies.

LOSER MAN: "Yeah, i'm totally into the Princess Leia 'fantacy'...you know, the gold bikini? *wink*"

HOT SEX KITTEN: "Well, everyone is different..oh look! *points*

LOSER MAN:*looks* "Is it Leia?"

HOT SEX KITTEN: *runs away*

Everyone is Different by James March 6, 2004

O'Tooled 

1)O'Tooled: Drunk. Hammered. Hungover. In referance to the British actor Peter O'Toole who stard in such films as Lawerance of Arabia, and was famous for off screen drinking binges.

2) O'Tooled: Denied. Rejected on a regular basis. Losing streak. In referance to the British actor Peter O'Toole who stard in such films as Murphys War, and was famous for not winning an acting Oscar after 8 nomminations.

"Dude!, we got friggen' O'Tooled on that pub crawl last night"

"Dude?!, Dave got totally O'Tooled by every girl on that pub crawl last night!...then again i was way too O'Tooled to keep track of them all"

O'Tooled by James March 6, 2004

talk show 

A Television program that shows alot of people talking about things that will never be retained by the human brain long enough to make any kind of substantial differance in our lives whatsoever.

Kristy? Did you see Oprah's latest talk show?...it was bout...umm...oh shucks i had it there for a second...now it's gone.

talk show by James March 6, 2004

crapperjack 

Crapperjack: an expression of dissapointment. Like when you open a box of Crackerjack's and get a really crappy 2 cent prize that is worse than the rest of the 2 cent prizes.

Crapperjack! I swear his 'package' looked bigger at the bar...now i'm stuck with this short short man.

Crapperjack!!! I've slept with 4 men over the age of 60 and I STILL haven't been given a promotion in this worthless company!

crapperjack by James March 6, 2004

Toocan Sam 

1-Toocan Sam: a very mangy bird that lives in the jungle, and leads innocent unsuspecting children into the jungle in search of sugary cereal...claiming that if you "follow his nose" that will in some way actually lead you to the god damn cereal; however, the only thing these kids ever get is bitten by thousands of jungle in insects and the occasional jungle lion....leaving them with no cereal, infectious wounds and a hatred of all things that fly.

2-Toocan Sam: An alcoholic drink.
Ingredients:

* 3/4 oz Spiced rum (Captain Morgan's)
* 3/4 oz Triple sec
* 3/4 oz Blue Curacao
* 3/4 oz Coconut rum (Parrot bay)
* 3 oz Pineapple juice
* Lace with Grenadine

Mixing instructions:

in a shaker half filled with ice, add first 5 ingredients. shake well. strain into hurricane glass filled with ice. lace with grenadine.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! that bird said to follow his nose to the cereal and now we're lost in the jungle and i'm scared and cold, so very cold.....i say it's time to eat the fat kid of the group or we'll never survive....DAMNNNN YOUU TOOCAN SAM!

I say, this Toocan Sam the barkeep made tastes like shit. I swear, there's no spiced rum in it at all...tastes rather like semen to me.

Toocan Sam by James March 6, 2004