iceman 69's definitions

junkmail

Armor constructed from newspapers, department-store advertisements, cardboard, phonebooks or any type of junk that can be found in the mailbox. The purpose of junkmail is the same as for chainmail, that is to stop knives and shanks from piercing organs. Prisoners all over the world have used junkmail for as long as paper products have been in circulation. Ideally, junkmail should cover the chest, abdomen and sternum, being at least 2 inches thick. Junkmail is light weight, easy to forge and practical for use in any prison gang-war. It is called junkmail because it is constructed from junk and can be disposed of easily.

The prisoner survived the violent rival gang hit, only because of the junkmail he was wearing.

by iceman 69 December 29, 2009

hatemail

Hatemail is armor constructed by a prisoner and made from the thousands of hateful letters sent to them by their victim's family. The hate filled letters are so many in number that the prisoner has a steady supply of materials with which to forge the hatemail. Similar to chainmail in form and function, hatemail is used to stop knives, shivs and shanks from piercing vital organs. The hatemail covers the prisoner's abdomen, sternum and chest and is light weight and easy to buiild.

Charles Manson was attacked by a fellow prisoner but his hatemail armor protected him and stopped the shank from entering his flesh. Shannon Tate's family sent Charlie all the supplies he needed to forge the hatemail. The irony is killing them.

by iceman 69 December 29, 2009

Trucker Rails

Term used to describe enormous lines of cocaine, methamphetamine, special k, heroin or any other snortable drug. A Rail is used to describe the same thing but in moderate portions. A Trucker Rail is at least double in size. Perhaps as wide as a person's thumb and several inches long. Trucker's are notorious for snorting methamphetamine Trucker Rails to stay awake on long hauls over the road.

1. Tony Montana was so depressed that his only way to cope was to snort Trucker Rails of coke until he was more or less bullet-proof and psychotic.
2. The trucker knew that driving from Maine to California was gonna be a long haul so he snorted a few Trucker Rails of speed to stay awake and alert.
3. With finals approaching, the graduate student had no choice but to snort Trucker Rails of Adderall to keep his edge and stay up for 5 days studying.

by iceman 69 December 29, 2009

ravaged

Usually occurring in women and sometimes in men, Ravaged is a condition that makes a man or women appear to be 10 or more years older then they actually are. The primary cause of this condition is chain-smoking cigarettes for any number of years. The person's appearance (usually in women) is characterized by premature wrinkles, dried skin, yellowing teeth and nails and a general look of bad health, as if stricken by a life draining plague. A Ravaged person is likely to light up within seconds if they're not already choking down a smoke. Ravaged people can often be witnessed huddled around an outdoor ashtray in sub-zero conditions, oblivious to the cold as they feed their addiction.

"Man, that chick is ugly before her years. Look at how tobacco has ravaged her utterly."

by iceman 69 December 29, 2009

Boss

Noun; Word used by sport-fisherman to describe an enormous catch. A boss fish is usually at the top of the food-chain, meaning that there is no other fish in the area that would dare contend with it. When a fish slams on an angler's line and it is clear that the animal is not an ordinary fish, it is obvious that the fish is a boss. On occasion, the fish comes in slowly and it is unclear whether or not the fish is a boss. Once the fish is actually witnesses, it can be determined if it is a boss.

If your line gets slammed by a fish and it is instantly clear that it's a monster, you can vocally declare, "Hell yea! It's a boss!" This can be assigned to any species as long as the animal is extraordinarily large for it's species. Example: Boss-Bass, Boss-Pike, Boss-Walleye, etc.

by iceman 69 December 28, 2009

Alabama Chips

Noun; phrase used to describe dried up semen that has gone from a liquid to a solid, usually found on the lower back of someone's sexual partner the next day after they passed out face down. Alabama Chips can be found on solid surfaces like a glass table as well.

A guy will tell his friends, "I busted my massive load on her back and I peeled the Alabama Chips off the next day and fed them to her!"

by iceman 69 December 23, 2009

Beard Of Lincoln

Noun; A beard made of pubic hair and secured to the person's face by semen. The Beard of Lincoln is "given" by a man that ejaculates on their sexual partner's chin and cheeks, then rips a handful of his (or their) pubic hair and sprinkles the hair onto the semen. The semen secures the pubic hair to their face and resembles a beard.

"I busted my load on her chin, ripped out a handful of my pubic hair and threw it on the load." You would reply, "Oh man, you gave her the Beard of Lincoln."

by iceman 69 December 23, 2009