hazletard-in-chief's definitions
A form of racing, in which a shopping cart is forced into a over-steer. Popular in Hazleton, PA, because cars and gasoline aren't covered by food stamps.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010
Get the Hazleton driftingmug. A form of mutual masturbation, in which heavily menstruating woman hangs upside-down while her male partner masturbates her. He catches any falling menstrual blood with his penis, which his partner uses as lubricant to masturbate him.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010
Get the bloody hazletonmug. A necrophilia and coprophilia based sex act, in which a hazletard removes a corpse's head, defecates in the esophagus, and has sex with the esophagus.
hazletard: Nothing like visting the morgue at Hazleton General Hospital, and pulling off a Hazleton Hot Pocket!
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 10, 2010
Get the Hazleton Hot Pocketmug. Any person(s) that urinate(s), defecate(s) and/or fornicate(s) on the Stone Couch near Hazleton, PA 18201. Most usually brag about it, without shame.
PA State Trooper 1: Let's stake out the Stone Couch for some Stone Couchers. It's time they go to jail for their immoral behavior.
PA State Trooper 2: The heck with that. Let us shit, piss and fuck on the couch.
PA State Trooper 1: Ooh you're a notty Trooper, ready to stab my pooper.
(Freaky gay law enforcement loving ensues. A box of Dunkin Donuts is involved, as well.)
PA State Trooper 2: The heck with that. Let us shit, piss and fuck on the couch.
PA State Trooper 1: Ooh you're a notty Trooper, ready to stab my pooper.
(Freaky gay law enforcement loving ensues. A box of Dunkin Donuts is involved, as well.)
by Hazletard-in-Chief November 13, 2011
Get the Stone Couchermug. Using cheaper and more abundant illegal immigrant toddlers, in place of gerbils, to gerbil slam. Very popular with Hazleton's gay community.
THE FIRST HAZLETON SWITCHEROO
HAZLETON, PA CIRCA 1993
Jack Palance: Oh sweet Jesus that gerbil, sure is feisty. What breed is it?
Silly Sammy: It's a Dominican short hair. The Bishop is getting them shipped to Hazleton, PA by the hundreds.
Jack Palance: Damn, I cummed already. Pull that fucker out before he suffocates. He's a keeper.
Silly Sammy: I was thinking of going into the local television news business, want to produce it?
Jack Palance: Uhhh... got to go. I'm shooting City Slickers 2. B-bye!
HAZLETON, PA CIRCA 1993
Jack Palance: Oh sweet Jesus that gerbil, sure is feisty. What breed is it?
Silly Sammy: It's a Dominican short hair. The Bishop is getting them shipped to Hazleton, PA by the hundreds.
Jack Palance: Damn, I cummed already. Pull that fucker out before he suffocates. He's a keeper.
Silly Sammy: I was thinking of going into the local television news business, want to produce it?
Jack Palance: Uhhh... got to go. I'm shooting City Slickers 2. B-bye!
by Hazletard-in-Chief October 31, 2011
Get the Hazleton Switcheroomug. A swing with accessibility to the rider's genitalia/anus. Supposedly invented in the far east. It could be as simple as a hammock, or as complex as an injection molded custom fit unit upwards of $1500.
me: Let's go down to my sex dungeon, and try out my new Chinese swing. It has thermionic heating and cooling.
some chick: Damn you know how to fuck in luxury.
me: You're making me blush.
some chick: Damn you know how to fuck in luxury.
me: You're making me blush.
by Hazletard-in-Chief October 31, 2011
Get the Chinese swingmug.