Chinese swing

A swing with accessibility to the rider's genitalia/anus. Supposedly invented in the far east. It could be as simple as a hammock, or as complex as an injection molded custom fit unit upwards of $1500.
me: Let's go down to my sex dungeon, and try out my new Chinese swing. It has thermionic heating and cooling.

some chick: Damn you know how to fuck in luxury.

me: You're making me blush.
by Hazletard-in-Chief May 31, 2011
Get the Chinese swing mug.

Hazleton drifting

A form of racing, in which a shopping cart is forced into a over-steer. Popular in Hazleton, PA, because cars and gasoline aren't covered by food stamps.
hazletard: I won the Hazleton drifting competition in the Walmart parking lot.

me: Fucking sped.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 10, 2010
Get the Hazleton drifting mug.

strip mine

Archaic term for surface mine.
Let's go driving in the old strip mine, with your dad's Porsche Cayenne.
by Hazletard-in-Chief June 01, 2011
Get the strip mine mug.

scamotz

1. a confectionery mixture made of: one part low grade Mozzarella cheese, one part American cheese and three parts hydrogenated vegetable oil. Found on cheap pizza and other Italian influenced American foods. 2. semen
Maria: I almost choked to death on some scamotz, last night.

Jennifer: The cheap Italian stuff, or the testicle gravy?

Maria: Both, actually.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 10, 2010
Get the scamotz mug.

reschooler

A person trying to relive school, usually high school or college.
Nicole: I am so happy to be a highschool English teacher. I also get to head the yearbook staff. I love yearbook.

Melvin: Fucking reschooler. God your pathetic.

Nicole: Your just jealous, because your a self employed businessman, making seven figures a quarter. While I am getting to relive highschool everyday.

Melvin: I'd rather relive the gang bang I had at the Playboy Mansion last week.
by Hazletard-in-Chief May 31, 2011
Get the reschooler mug.

Nationwide Thugs

The nonexistent gang, all the the wiggers in Hazleton claim to be a member of. Sometimes shortened to "Nationwide."
hazletard: I'm in da Nationwide Thugs, yo. I'll cap your ass.

human: Does the Aryan Brotherhood, now except wiggers? That's the prison gang that runs the white section in state prison. That's were crackers like you go, when you keep this act up into adulthood.

hazletard: Watch your mouth fool. Nationwide will fuck you up.

human: Thanks, for all the footage of your terroristic threats, for my new cellphone. Enjoy prison, biznitch!

hazletard: I'm sorry. Don't call the police. I just act like this, because I'm a loser.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 10, 2010
Get the Nationwide Thugs mug.