hazletard-in-chief's definitions
The primary mode of transportation in Hazleton, PA, seen outside of every home: A stolen shopping cart!
hazletard 1: Got any WD-40, my ride needs a tune up.
hazletard 2: Ditch that bitch. I got this fly Hazletonmobile, from GIANT Food. No I can go Hazleton drifting, this afternoon.
hazletard 2: Ditch that bitch. I got this fly Hazletonmobile, from GIANT Food. No I can go Hazleton drifting, this afternoon.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010
Get the Hazletonmobile mug.1) noun: A mentally impaired person from Hazleton, Pennsylvania; 2) verb: to render something or somebody useless; 3) verb: to act mentally impaired while in the city limits of Hazleton, PA
A hazletard (definition 1) stole my quad, barrelled up City Hall's steps and hazletarded (def. 2 past-tense) the fucking bitch. The cops found him hazletarding (def. 3 past participle) down the block, from meth. I got to leave this fucking town!
by Hazletard-in-Chief October 11, 2010
Get the hazletard mug.Any person(s) that urinate(s), defecate(s) and/or fornicate(s) on the Stone Couch near Hazleton, PA 18201. Most usually brag about it, without shame.
PA State Trooper 1: Let's stake out the Stone Couch for some Stone Couchers. It's time they go to jail for their immoral behavior.
PA State Trooper 2: The heck with that. Let us shit, piss and fuck on the couch.
PA State Trooper 1: Ooh you're a notty Trooper, ready to stab my pooper.
(Freaky gay law enforcement loving ensues. A box of Dunkin Donuts is involved, as well.)
PA State Trooper 2: The heck with that. Let us shit, piss and fuck on the couch.
PA State Trooper 1: Ooh you're a notty Trooper, ready to stab my pooper.
(Freaky gay law enforcement loving ensues. A box of Dunkin Donuts is involved, as well.)
by Hazletard-in-Chief November 13, 2011
Get the Stone Coucher mug.An unidentified man died in the waiting area of Hazleton General Hospital. He bled to death, because of the wait behind thirty illegal immigrant tweenage bitches checking to see if they were pregnant.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 10, 2010
Get the Hazleton General Hospital mug.A swing with accessibility to the rider's genitalia/anus. Supposedly invented in the far east. It could be as simple as a hammock, or as complex as an injection molded custom fit unit upwards of $1500.
me: Let's go down to my sex dungeon, and try out my new Chinese swing. It has thermionic heating and cooling.
some chick: Damn you know how to fuck in luxury.
me: You're making me blush.
some chick: Damn you know how to fuck in luxury.
me: You're making me blush.
by Hazletard-in-Chief October 31, 2011
Get the Chinese swing mug.A form of exhibitionism, in which a white female tween pushes her naked rear up to a chain link fence, while two Dominican males separately penetrate the women's anus and vagina, through the fence. Very common in Hazleton, Pennsylvania.
Perez: Check out that bitch with the iCarly backpack, signaling us into a Hazletonian Glory Hole.
Carlos: You get the asshole this time, I am sick of scraping shit out of my foreskin.
Carlos: You get the asshole this time, I am sick of scraping shit out of my foreskin.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010
Get the Hazletonian Glory Hole mug.