hazletard-in-chief's definitions

Hazleton, PA 18201

If Pennsylvania was to have an illegitimate retarded child, this hell hole would be it.

Commonwealth of Pennsylvania: Can't we just abort Hazleton, PA 18201?

United States Supreme Court: No. Once you hit the third trimester, it's illegal. You are well over three hundred trimesters, already!

Commonwealth of Pennsylvania: FUCK!

by Hazletard-in-Chief November 29, 2010

Hazleton Mudslide

When a man engages in anal sex with another person, that is riding in a Chinese swing with diarrhea pouring out their ass.

If you try the Hazleton Mudslide, you're a total fucking pervert.

by Hazletard-in-Chief November 22, 2010

hazleton

A style of mutual masturbation, in which a woman hangs upside-down, while her male partner stands rightside up.

man: This hazleton, is the bomb. We got to do it more often.

woman: Shut the fuck up, and work my clit!

by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010

Hazletonian Glory Hole

A form of exhibitionism, in which a white female tween pushes her naked rear up to a chain link fence, while two Dominican males separately penetrate the women's anus and vagina, through the fence. Very common in Hazleton, Pennsylvania.

Perez: Check out that bitch with the iCarly backpack, signaling us into a Hazletonian Glory Hole.

Carlos: You get the asshole this time, I am sick of scraping shit out of my foreskin.

by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010

Hazleton General Hospital

The only hospital in Hazleton, PA 18201, with a functioning emergency room.

An unidentified man died in the waiting area of Hazleton General Hospital. He bled to death, because of the wait behind thirty illegal immigrant tweenage bitches checking to see if they were pregnant.

by Hazletard-in-Chief December 10, 2010

Chinese swing

A swing with accessibility to the rider's genitalia/anus. Supposedly invented in the far east. It could be as simple as a hammock, or as complex as an injection molded custom fit unit upwards of $1500.

me: Let's go down to my sex dungeon, and try out my new Chinese swing. It has thermionic heating and cooling.

some chick: Damn you know how to fuck in luxury.

me: You're making me blush.

by Hazletard-in-Chief October 31, 2011