hazletard-in-chief's definitions
The nonexistent gang, all the the wiggers in Hazleton claim to be a member of. Sometimes shortened to "Nationwide."
hazletard: I'm in da Nationwide Thugs, yo. I'll cap your ass.
human: Does the Aryan Brotherhood, now except wiggers? That's the prison gang that runs the white section in state prison. That's were crackers like you go, when you keep this act up into adulthood.
hazletard: Watch your mouth fool. Nationwide will fuck you up.
human: Thanks, for all the footage of your terroristic threats, for my new cellphone. Enjoy prison, biznitch!
hazletard: I'm sorry. Don't call the police. I just act like this, because I'm a loser.
human: Does the Aryan Brotherhood, now except wiggers? That's the prison gang that runs the white section in state prison. That's were crackers like you go, when you keep this act up into adulthood.
hazletard: Watch your mouth fool. Nationwide will fuck you up.
human: Thanks, for all the footage of your terroristic threats, for my new cellphone. Enjoy prison, biznitch!
hazletard: I'm sorry. Don't call the police. I just act like this, because I'm a loser.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010
Get the Nationwide Thugs mug.A form of exhibitionism, in which a white female tween pushes her naked rear up to a chain link fence, while two Dominican males separately penetrate the women's anus and vagina, through the fence. Very common in Hazleton, Pennsylvania.
Perez: Check out that bitch with the iCarly backpack, signaling us into a Hazletonian Glory Hole.
Carlos: You get the asshole this time, I am sick of scraping shit out of my foreskin.
Carlos: You get the asshole this time, I am sick of scraping shit out of my foreskin.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010
Get the Hazletonian Glory Hole mug.A form of mutual masturbation, in which heavily menstruating woman hangs upside-down while her male partner masturbates her. He catches any falling menstrual blood with his penis, which his partner uses as lubricant to masturbate him.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010
Get the bloody hazleton mug.A swing with accessibility to the rider's genitalia/anus. Supposedly invented in the far east. It could be as simple as a hammock, or as complex as an injection molded custom fit unit upwards of $1500.
me: Let's go down to my sex dungeon, and try out my new Chinese swing. It has thermionic heating and cooling.
some chick: Damn you know how to fuck in luxury.
me: You're making me blush.
some chick: Damn you know how to fuck in luxury.
me: You're making me blush.
by Hazletard-in-Chief October 31, 2011
Get the Chinese swing mug.Using cheaper and more abundant illegal immigrant toddlers, in place of gerbils, to gerbil slam. Very popular with Hazleton's gay community.
THE FIRST HAZLETON SWITCHEROO
HAZLETON, PA CIRCA 1993
Jack Palance: Oh sweet Jesus that gerbil, sure is feisty. What breed is it?
Silly Sammy: It's a Dominican short hair. The Bishop is getting them shipped to Hazleton, PA by the hundreds.
Jack Palance: Damn, I cummed already. Pull that fucker out before he suffocates. He's a keeper.
Silly Sammy: I was thinking of going into the local television news business, want to produce it?
Jack Palance: Uhhh... got to go. I'm shooting City Slickers 2. B-bye!
HAZLETON, PA CIRCA 1993
Jack Palance: Oh sweet Jesus that gerbil, sure is feisty. What breed is it?
Silly Sammy: It's a Dominican short hair. The Bishop is getting them shipped to Hazleton, PA by the hundreds.
Jack Palance: Damn, I cummed already. Pull that fucker out before he suffocates. He's a keeper.
Silly Sammy: I was thinking of going into the local television news business, want to produce it?
Jack Palance: Uhhh... got to go. I'm shooting City Slickers 2. B-bye!
by Hazletard-in-Chief October 31, 2011
Get the Hazleton Switcheroo mug.A form of racing, in which a shopping cart is forced into a over-steer. Popular in Hazleton, PA, because cars and gasoline aren't covered by food stamps.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010
Get the Hazleton drifting mug.