Nueva República Dominicana

Spanish for New Dominican Republic. The Dominican nickname for Hazleton, Pennsylvania, due to it's evergrowing Dominican population.
white hazletard 1: I heard some spick, tell me to get my mullet out of his Nueva República Dominicana. Is that spanish for business?

white hazletard 2: Nope, that means move out of Hazleton, before you get your white ass mashed. I'm moving to Sugarloaf ASAP.
by Hazletard-in-Chief November 25, 2010
Get the Nueva República Dominicana mug.

Gallagher Sledge-O-Matic

1. The signature sketch of prop comic Gallagher, in which he smashes miscellaneous items with a large mallet not an actual sledgehammer. Apparently, a sledgehammer is too heterosexual. 2. A potent strain of methamphetamine, named after the above prop comic. Originating from around Hazleton, Pennsylvania. Taken orally, intravenously, anally, vaginally, nasally and smoked. The original lab was raided at the dawn of 2010, but is back in operation.
1. douche bag: I brought the clear plastic tarp for Gallagher's show. Hope he brings the Gallagher Sledge-O-Matic. Hee hee hee.

2. hazletard: I need a quarter hit of some Gallagher Sledge-O-Matic, bad. So I can suck truck driver cock for enough cash for a full hit, no homo.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 10, 2010
Get the Gallagher Sledge-O-Matic mug.

Hazleton General Hospital

The only hospital in Hazleton, PA 18201, with a functioning emergency room.
An unidentified man died in the waiting area of Hazleton General Hospital. He bled to death, because of the wait behind thirty illegal immigrant tweenage bitches checking to see if they were pregnant.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 09, 2010
Get the Hazleton General Hospital mug.

Hazleton Nut Thrust

When a man holds his balls together tightly, and fists a Domincan prostitute's asshole with the balls.
nigga: I would sure like to give you a Hazleton Nut Thrust.

Domincan Ho: (unintelligble Dominican jibbersh)

nigga: Oh yeah. Take it like a white biatch!

Dominican Ho: two dollars.

nigga: Damn your pricey.
by Hazletard-in-Chief November 19, 2010
Get the Hazleton Nut Thrust mug.

Highland Road

The hottest spot near Hazleton, Pennsylvania, to dump dead prostitutes at.
nigga 1: We need to dump this ho's body somewhere, she's getting ripe.

nigga 2: I know a place where I dumped an old couch, refrigerator and dead ho last week. I found it, while geocaching.

nigga 1: Geocaching?! We need to blacken you up. It' bad enough your a registered Republican, but fucking geocaching. Nigga Please!

nigga 2: Fuck you. Here we are... Highland Road biatch!
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 10, 2010
Get the Highland Road mug.

Northeast Counseling

The nonprofit organization that provides the vast majority of psychotherapy for the psychopaths in the Hazleton PA area. The majority of it's patients never get better.
nutty fuck 1: I need some pussy. And I need it fast.

nutty fuck 2: Don't you buttfuck your girlfriend, so she doesn't get pregnant? That's why you need pussy so bad. Asshole is no substitute.

nutty fuck 1: The doctor up a Northeast Counseling told me to either cut my balls off or fudge pack her ass. The last option seems less painful.

nutty fuck 2: To you, that is.
by Hazletard-in-Chief August 14, 2011
Get the Northeast Counseling mug.

Stone Couch

An unofficial landmark for kids in the Hazleton area of Anthracite Coal Region, consisting of a formation of rocks resembling a couch. It is located east of Hazleton, and south of Eckley Miner's Village Historic Site & Museum.
The Stone Couch appears to be man-made, but the culture that manufactured it is unknown. It is purportedly haunted, but no proof by local paranormal investigators have turned up any evidence.
Local legend says that if you sit on it once, you get scratched. Twice you sit on it, something bad happens to somebody close to you. Thrice you sit on it, you die.
The Stone Couch isn't scary at all, but just plain queer. The worst that can happen, is you waste a tank of gas looking for it.
by Hazletard-in-Chief November 20, 2010
Get the Stone Couch mug.