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hazletard-in-chief's definitions

Hazleton Mudslide

When a man engages in anal sex with another person, that is riding in a Chinese swing with diarrhea pouring out their ass.
If you try the Hazleton Mudslide, you're a total fucking pervert.
by Hazletard-in-Chief November 22, 2010
mugGet the Hazleton Mudslidemug.

hazleton

A style of mutual masturbation, in which a woman hangs upside-down, while her male partner stands rightside up.
man: This hazleton, is the bomb. We got to do it more often.

woman: Shut the fuck up, and work my clit!
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010
mugGet the hazletonmug.

Hazleton Nut Thrust

When a man holds his balls together tightly, and fists a Domincan prostitute's asshole with the balls.
nigga: I would sure like to give you a Hazleton Nut Thrust.

Domincan Ho: (unintelligble Dominican jibbersh)

nigga: Oh yeah. Take it like a white biatch!

Dominican Ho: two dollars.

nigga: Damn your pricey.
by Hazletard-in-Chief November 22, 2010
mugGet the Hazleton Nut Thrustmug.

Hazleton Hot Pocket

A necrophilia and coprophilia based sex act, in which a hazletard removes a corpse's head, defecates in the esophagus, and has sex with the esophagus.
hazletard: Nothing like visting the morgue at Hazleton General Hospital, and pulling off a Hazleton Hot Pocket!
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 10, 2010
mugGet the Hazleton Hot Pocketmug.

Hazletonian cost-benefit analysis

When a pimp seriously injures or kills his ho, thus losing money by not being able to pimp her out.
detective 1: I'm out here on Highland Road again, looking at another dead prostitute. What a waste.

detective 2: I know. That bitch could be making money sucking and fucking. At least a couple grand on Friday night, alone. It's a damn shame.

detective 1: I believe they call it Hazletonian cost-benefit analysis. It's a form of nigger logic.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 8, 2010
mugGet the Hazletonian cost-benefit analysismug.

hazleton with cheese

A form of mutal masturbation, in which a yeast infected woman hangs by her feet, while a man mastubates her. He catches soft yeast falling from her vagina on his penis, and she uses it as lubricant, to masturbate his penis.
pervert: I love your fishy stank all over my cock.

bitch: Hope you enjoy it, I didn't clean my snatch for several weeks.

pervert: The hazleton with cheese is the bomb.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010
mugGet the hazleton with cheesemug.

hazletard

1) noun: A mentally impaired person from Hazleton, Pennsylvania; 2) verb: to render something or somebody useless; 3) verb: to act mentally impaired while in the city limits of Hazleton, PA
A hazletard (definition 1) stole my quad, barrelled up City Hall's steps and hazletarded (def. 2 past-tense) the fucking bitch. The cops found him hazletarding (def. 3 past participle) down the block, from meth. I got to leave this fucking town!
by Hazletard-in-Chief October 11, 2010
mugGet the hazletardmug.

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