detective 1: I'm out here on Highland Road again, looking at another dead prostitute. What a waste.
detective 2: I know. That bitch could be making money sucking and fucking. At least a couple grand on Friday night, alone. It's a damn shame.
detective 1: I believe they call it Hazletonian cost-benefit analysis. It's a form of nigger logic.
detective 2: I know. That bitch could be making money sucking and fucking. At least a couple grand on Friday night, alone. It's a damn shame.
detective 1: I believe they call it Hazletonian cost-benefit analysis. It's a form of nigger logic.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 08, 2010
The primary mode of transportation in Hazleton, PA, seen outside of every home: A stolen shopping cart!
hazletard 1: Got any WD-40, my ride needs a tune up.
hazletard 2: Ditch that bitch. I got this fly Hazletonmobile, from GIANT Food. No I can go Hazleton drifting, this afternoon.
hazletard 2: Ditch that bitch. I got this fly Hazletonmobile, from GIANT Food. No I can go Hazleton drifting, this afternoon.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 10, 2010
Commonwealth of Pennsylvania: Can't we just abort Hazleton, PA 18201?
United States Supreme Court: No. Once you hit the third trimester, it's illegal. You are well over three hundred trimesters, already!
Commonwealth of Pennsylvania: FUCK!
United States Supreme Court: No. Once you hit the third trimester, it's illegal. You are well over three hundred trimesters, already!
Commonwealth of Pennsylvania: FUCK!
by Hazletard-in-Chief November 26, 2010
1) noun: A mentally impaired person from Hazleton, Pennsylvania; 2) verb: to render something or somebody useless; 3) verb: to act mentally impaired while in the city limits of Hazleton, PA
A hazletard (definition 1) stole my quad, barrelled up City Hall's steps and hazletarded (def. 2 past-tense) the fucking bitch. The cops found him hazletarding (def. 3 past participle) down the block, from meth. I got to leave this fucking town!
by Hazletard-in-Chief October 09, 2010
A form of exhibitionism, in which a white female tween pushes her naked rear up to a chain link fence, while two Dominican males separately penetrate the women's anus and vagina, through the fence. Very common in Hazleton, Pennsylvania.
Perez: Check out that bitch with the iCarly backpack, signaling us into a Hazletonian Glory Hole.
Carlos: You get the asshole this time, I am sick of scraping shit out of my foreskin.
Carlos: You get the asshole this time, I am sick of scraping shit out of my foreskin.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 10, 2010
The newest nickname for Hazleton, Pennsylvania. Based on the facts: a) Hazleton misspelled it's own name; b) all attempts to salvage this city always fail; c) Hazleton, PA = epic fail.
Another pimp killed another ho, instead of pimping that bitch for mad money. Welcome to Failzeton, biatch!
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 24, 2010
Using cheaper and more abundant illegal immigrant toddlers, in place of gerbils, to gerbil slam. Very popular with Hazleton's gay community.
THE FIRST HAZLETON SWITCHEROO
HAZLETON, PA CIRCA 1993
Jack Palance: Oh sweet Jesus that gerbil, sure is feisty. What breed is it?
Silly Sammy: It's a Dominican short hair. The Bishop is getting them shipped to Hazleton, PA by the hundreds.
Jack Palance: Damn, I cummed already. Pull that fucker out before he suffocates. He's a keeper.
Silly Sammy: I was thinking of going into the local television news business, want to produce it?
Jack Palance: Uhhh... got to go. I'm shooting City Slickers 2. B-bye!
HAZLETON, PA CIRCA 1993
Jack Palance: Oh sweet Jesus that gerbil, sure is feisty. What breed is it?
Silly Sammy: It's a Dominican short hair. The Bishop is getting them shipped to Hazleton, PA by the hundreds.
Jack Palance: Damn, I cummed already. Pull that fucker out before he suffocates. He's a keeper.
Silly Sammy: I was thinking of going into the local television news business, want to produce it?
Jack Palance: Uhhh... got to go. I'm shooting City Slickers 2. B-bye!
by Hazletard-in-Chief May 31, 2011