And then i fucked her up the ass

What you say when you're in the middle of a story and realize no one's listening.

I'm sitting at the dinner table, telling my girlfriends family about how we met. As I'm getting to the funny part, i realize no one's listening, so i abruptly finish with "and then i fucked her up the ass!"

by goodlord! November 24, 2015

I just farted

What you say when you’re cooking and someone walks into the kitchen saying “Mmmmm.... it smells so good in here!”

As I slave away at the stove, cooking dinner for my party guests, one of my buddies wives says Mmmmmm... it smells so good in here! My response: I just farted.

by goodlord! January 05, 2021

Driblets

The precum that dribbles down your shaft while getting a blow job.

She was going down on me nice and slow. As she was flicking her tongue at my throbbing head, i noticed a few driblets right before i blew my wad all over her face.

by goodlord! June 28, 2015

Fart Block

Not being able to fart when the coast is clear.

You're at a social gathering and have to fart really bad, so you excuse yourself and walk to the bathroom. But now you can't let it out, no matter how hard you push. Damn fart block!

by goodlord! April 30, 2015

Dinklet

When your woman's being a dick

You: Hey sweetie, let's go on a date tonight.
Her: I'm still mad at you for not helping me with the dishes last night...
You: Please don't be a dinklet!

by goodlord! December 23, 2014

Project paralysis

When you have so many things to do, you become so overwhelmed that you can’t start on any of them.

Dude, how’s that Jeep project coming?
Bro, I can’t even start it because I have too many projects and can’t focus on any of them. Fucking project paralysis…

by goodlord! July 29, 2021

Pee Performance

Standing and peeing directly in the water with the door open

You've got some bros over and a few hotties, and as you're trying to impress the hotties, one of the bros goes to the bathroom and proceeds to pee loudly in toilet bowl with door open. He doesn't even try to aim on the porcelain, but goes directly in the water... "Really bro? Now's not the time to give us your pee performance!"

by goodlord! May 13, 2015