evelyn waughfare's definitions
'Charvae think they're scary and hard, but in fact they're just very, very, VERY funny' or 'charvae are like larvae, except they don't grow'
by evelyn waughfare November 24, 2003
Get the charvaemug. In-depth definition, PART FIVE:
The language of charvae has bewildered linguists the world over, as no-one has been able to identify its roots. It seems to consist of a constant nasal whine that sounds like 'aaaaaa', which occasionally morphs into approximations of existing English words delivered in an extended manner, very much akin to Siberian throat-singing but with an undertone of suppressed rancour. A variation of this is the machine-gun-like delivery that accompanies an amphetamine session that often features the endless repetition of the words 'proper', 'how', 'ch', 'here, man', 'shan' and 'hollible'. The usage of these amusing jazz words by non-charvae is a source of constant chagrin to the charva
The language of charvae has bewildered linguists the world over, as no-one has been able to identify its roots. It seems to consist of a constant nasal whine that sounds like 'aaaaaa', which occasionally morphs into approximations of existing English words delivered in an extended manner, very much akin to Siberian throat-singing but with an undertone of suppressed rancour. A variation of this is the machine-gun-like delivery that accompanies an amphetamine session that often features the endless repetition of the words 'proper', 'how', 'ch', 'here, man', 'shan' and 'hollible'. The usage of these amusing jazz words by non-charvae is a source of constant chagrin to the charva
by evelyn waughfare November 29, 2003
Get the charvamug. by evelyn waughfare November 23, 2003
Get the mumpamug. In-depth definition, PART NINE:
Charvae should not be mistaken for Geordies, who are a noble, radical and propsperous people. Neither should they be mixed up with other poor or low-income people in general, or with well-meaning people with learning difficulties who try their best. Charvism is in fact a very distinct form of social disease and a good way to imagine charvae if you do not live in Newcastle is to think of remedials from school, then imagine them interbreeding in class rather than learning to read. Testament to the other Geordies' will to help lift charvae above their wretched, hopeless status was the wonderful 'Let's take a charva much, much farva' campaign of 2001, which helped to raise over £63,000 for this unfortunate forgotten group. The campaign would still persist today with the famous 'HELP A CHARVA TODAY - THEY CAN'T HELP THEMSELVES' t-shirts, but all of the kindly donated money was pissed up the wall paying for tabs, pizza and SKY once it had been chored from the campaign headquarters by charvae.
The best way to upset a charva is to laugh at their poor clothes and unfortunate looks and the best way to destroy one is either to get them beaten up by a homosexual Goth in front of a laughing crowd of children, to paint 'nonce' right across the front of their house or to post their addresses in airports as havens for asylum seekers. The ultimate fate of all charvae is to be left on Earth to devolve back into the Dark Ages of random low-tech warfare, while the rest of humanity takes to the stars.
Despite being the pathetic, doomed, non-achieving cracker-spawn of multiple generations of unwanted children, charvae do have value, as they are walking, breathing examples of the importance of birth control.
Charvae should not be mistaken for Geordies, who are a noble, radical and propsperous people. Neither should they be mixed up with other poor or low-income people in general, or with well-meaning people with learning difficulties who try their best. Charvism is in fact a very distinct form of social disease and a good way to imagine charvae if you do not live in Newcastle is to think of remedials from school, then imagine them interbreeding in class rather than learning to read. Testament to the other Geordies' will to help lift charvae above their wretched, hopeless status was the wonderful 'Let's take a charva much, much farva' campaign of 2001, which helped to raise over £63,000 for this unfortunate forgotten group. The campaign would still persist today with the famous 'HELP A CHARVA TODAY - THEY CAN'T HELP THEMSELVES' t-shirts, but all of the kindly donated money was pissed up the wall paying for tabs, pizza and SKY once it had been chored from the campaign headquarters by charvae.
The best way to upset a charva is to laugh at their poor clothes and unfortunate looks and the best way to destroy one is either to get them beaten up by a homosexual Goth in front of a laughing crowd of children, to paint 'nonce' right across the front of their house or to post their addresses in airports as havens for asylum seekers. The ultimate fate of all charvae is to be left on Earth to devolve back into the Dark Ages of random low-tech warfare, while the rest of humanity takes to the stars.
Despite being the pathetic, doomed, non-achieving cracker-spawn of multiple generations of unwanted children, charvae do have value, as they are walking, breathing examples of the importance of birth control.
A good way to imagine a charva if you haven't seen one is to think of remedials from school, then imagine them interbreeding in class rather than learning to read
by evelyn waughfare November 29, 2003
Get the charvamug. See mumpa. This is the word in the ascendance to describe a charva.
Synomyms: Wretched, pathetic, in-bred, teenage parents, examples of the need for birth control, catalogue-shoppers, fraudsters, debtors, doomed, cracker-spawn, unwanted, under-nourished, foolish, narrow, ultra-plebian, bastard children, unloved.
Synomyms: Wretched, pathetic, in-bred, teenage parents, examples of the need for birth control, catalogue-shoppers, fraudsters, debtors, doomed, cracker-spawn, unwanted, under-nourished, foolish, narrow, ultra-plebian, bastard children, unloved.
'Mumpas like to pretend to be rich, but they are in fact the poorest and most wretched people in the whole of the British Isles'
by evelyn waughfare December 3, 2003
Get the charvamug. Of, pertaining to or sharing characteristics with the work or ideas of Noam Chomsky
see also Chomskyan
see also Chomskyan
by evelyn waughfare November 26, 2003
Get the Chomskianmug. Noun, NE England. New word for charva that succeeds as an insult due to the mumpas' reluctance to 'reclaim' the term. See charva for full description.
by evelyn waughfare November 24, 2003
Get the mumpamug.