ellsworthtoohey's definitions

Lahngism

A German word meaning "to do slowly".

Do you sprechen lahngism?

by ellsworthtoohey August 1, 2012

Extended Vacationism

Death

Bony Babs took an Extended Vacationism to Southern Europe, in which the terrific magma engulfed her entire body over the course of several seconds. That is the only redeeming trait all humans share..they die.

by ellsworthtoohey July 30, 2012

the beaver of giving

The Beaver of giving is a humanoid, rock-eating monster that dwells in the mountains. Despite his hulking, grotesque appearance, The Beaver is relatively peaceful. He is usually considered, perhaps superficially, to be of low intelligence, although there is no particular indication of this in the scriptures; in fact, there is evidence to the contrary, such as his ability to industrialize ahead of all the other races, in the Alfred Hitchcock film,"Oh Shit! We are all out of embalming fluid."

The Beaver of Giving is freed when you use the hammer of lazy to ground pound the tits off of the rusty floor diamond switch. He then gives you the stupid silver key of brussels, and tells zach's dad to get the fuck out of the house for a half hour, in the most polite way possible.

by ellsworthtoohey August 23, 2011

The Hover

A truly remarkable feat of concentration and resonance, which has an effect of levitation a few feet above the attic, when 3 or more people join hands and produce the frequency that cannot be heard. A competent ground crew is recommended, particularly if one or more people in the group cannot be trusted to maintain absolute focus, in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds, to simply produce the specific frequency, and to conceal the position of the participants high above the attic, ideally in the lower stratosphere, if the harmonic resonance approaches the upper limits of sonic viability, without causing shockwaves.

The Hover would have worked , if Gahrsten VanVöchenstein listened to the experienced hovers, and stayed as part of the ground crew, so that Broccoli Rob would be unaware of the altitude we had achieved.

by ellsworthtoohey May 3, 2018

glandasm

The feeling your mouthtongue gets when you eat well on the exotic promises of salt and vinegar chips against the gross wall of disgust located in the back of your ass-mouth and makes your tonsils spit the rancid spit-semon into your face-throat

KCLinda hasnt had a glandasm in years.

by ellsworthtoohey August 7, 2011

imobo-bobolodozer

It's a hybrid of immobilized and bulldozer...sortae? But seriously..it maekes aelot of sense if you really dont think aebout it. It is used to compound bilaeteral aesphyxiationael circumstaences in a uniform maenner, while aellowing the morbid decomposing flesh to drip into the caeuldron of delight.

The beaver of giving is thoroughly confused by the imobo-bobolodozer.

by ellsworthtoohey July 30, 2011

urine cakes

A delicious food product made by urinating into the top of the wedding cone. One then leaves the urine filled cone in the sun for several weeks, where time and pressure cause the urine to solidify, and the various components of the urine to separate. The chef then scrapes off the undesirable portions of the urine cake, and using a deli slicer, slices the urine cake into uniform 1/4" slices, as done with liverwurst and the like, Finally the urine cake is enjoyed by schlepping it onto some pumpernickel bread, with some lettuce and horseradish mustard. A true delicacy.

You:"Hey junk mail, I got you some delicious urine cakes from the market."
Me:"Thats terrific, however i think i will stick with just the pumpernickel bread for today."
You:"No offence, but you're from the isle of corradine."
Me:"Heh..Harley Davidson."

by ellsworthtoohey July 26, 2011