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ellsworthtoohey's definitions

Rounding the bases

When the runner loses a finger for every base achieved.
Rounding the bases is necessary for the game to play correctly.
by ellsworthtoohey December 11, 2017
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Stevie Wondering

The act of looking hideously upward whilst swaying and grooving to an unknown orchestra in the sky.
Stevie Wondering has many practical applications such as:

-Marking coordinates for a mortar strike
-Signaling cargo vessels into port
-Recieving interstellar radio transmissions
-Controlled demolition of uninhabited buildings
-Performing cesarian section procedures
-Triggering lasers at Pink Floyd concerts
-Adjusting spark timing on internal combustion engines
-Tuning pianos
-Cleaning skyscraper windows
-Navigating your way through a labyrinth
-Telepathically commanding squirrels to do your dirty work
-Triggering avalanches
-Removing stains on leather upholstery
-Measuring tire pressure
-Analysing exhaust emissions
-Causing the heads of clowns to spontaneously rupture
-Instantly solving complex algebraic equations
-Causing large bridges to oscillate at a specific resonant
frequency
-Heating large vats of cooking oil quickly and painfully
-Replacing lightbulbs on radio communications towers
-Consulting with the rain?
-Prepping automobiles for paint
-Chiseling birthday cards into slates
-Constructing massive heated beaver dams for your family to live in
-Steam distilling large amounts of drinking water
-Pumping sludge from basement sinkholes

-And above all, playing one hell of a piano groove
by ellsworthtoohey August 3, 2012
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Broccoli Rob

A general paesana of interest, regarded as one of the founding fathers of the not so democratic republic of congo.
Hails from an Spanish/Italian family and is survived by his liquid based sister kit-kat, who is one of the worlds foremost experts in aerospace engineering. His ancestry is questionable at best, and his childhood is shrouded in mystery. Some believe him to be descended from a long line of peasants. Some believe he has a life sized golden beluga whale statue on his roof gazebo, but needless to say, his garden could use improvement. One indisputible fact the CIA has been able to uncover is his inherent yiddishness, which causes him to sit in the synagogue all fucking day, staring straight ahead, and not saying a fucking word until the sun rises on the sabbath. He calls it Yom Kippur Another interesting fact is the big long hairs on top of his head, which he feeds indirectly into the running fanbelt. When the echo of a distant time comes willowing across the sand, broccoli rob is overpowered by an unrelenting force, directly. I always said he'd come to no good in the end, your honor. If they had let me have my way i would have flayed him into shape, but my hands were tied, and the bleeding hearts of artists allowed him to get away with murder, and I would be delighted to hammer him into the ground today.
Broccoli Rob's car suffers from an acute case of inaccurate Judaism.
by ellsworthtoohey August 2, 2012
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Extended Vacationism

Bony Babs took an Extended Vacationism to Southern Europe, in which the terrific magma engulfed her entire body over the course of several seconds. That is the only redeeming trait all humans share..they die
by ellsworthtoohey August 5, 2014
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The Hover

A truly remarkable feat of concentration and resonance, which has an effect of levitation a few feet above the attic, when 3 or more people join hands and produce the frequency that cannot be heard. A competent ground crew is recommended, particularly if one or more people in the group cannot be trusted to maintain absolute focus, in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds, to simply produce the specific frequency, and to conceal the position of the participants high above the attic, ideally in the lower stratosphere, if the harmonic resonance approaches the upper limits of sonic viability, without causing shockwaves.
The Hover would have worked , if Gahrsten VanVöchenstein listened to the experienced hovers, and stayed as part of the ground crew, so that Broccoli Rob would be unaware of the altitude we had achieved.
by ellsworthtoohey May 3, 2018
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pear gneen

It's similar to a dog, however a pear gneen is far less prestigious. There are several ways to discover if your dog may indeed be a pear gneen; one being the dogs reaction to a dog matress landing on it. If the dog spins around without stopping, you may have a pear gneen, if the dog immediatly runs forward and out from under the matress, it may be a dog. The second being the dogs response to someone doing the can can dance in front of it. If the dog goes nuts barking..it may be a pear gneen, if not it is probably a dog.
They talk about the big turkey, and the big pear gneen
by ellsworthtoohey July 30, 2011
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urban dictionary rage

the feeling you get when those dickface editors wont publish words/phrases you made on urban dictionary, due to the fact that they are "so fucking annoying" that i kill them all day, every day, and when i run out of dickfaces to kill, i resurrect them, and kill them once more to express my anger
I was suffering from acute urban dictionary rage, so I flew a helcopter into a high altitude brick wall at 110 nautical miles per hour. Win.
by ellsworthtoohey September 6, 2011
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