A living, breathing house that currently operates as a bed and breakfast-makeshift hotel type establishment constructed in the early 1920s. The house is inhabited by the dead, fueled by insanity and psychological torment, and commanded by his unholy highness, Lucifer. Witnesses report seeing blood drip down the walls of the schlossmuseum, seeing demons perched upon the rooftop, staring with fiery eyes into their soul, blood curdling screams of agony in the still of night, and on more than one occasion, guests have reported being dragged out of their bed at night, and down into the basement by an unseen entity, strapped to an antique operating table, and being tortured for several days by demonic surgeons. Despite all this, the schlossmuseum is a fine place to bring your family for an extended vacationism. Seriously, we want you to bring your children here. The house siphons the innocence out of young children, through their mouth/esophagus, and uses it for its own twisted purposes.

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods