Definitions by ebuygum

whirly splat 

An attack of the diarrhoea's SO bad that it looks like someone's arse has done a firehose rodeo down the loo.

Quite literally the onomatopaeic sound that would be assumed to go with the actual incident

Even worse when the whirly splat is discovered by the owner of the toilet and has had time to dry.

Toooommmmm, get you arse in here!!!

That's a right proper case of the whirly splats that is!!! here have a toilet brush

whirly splat by ebuygum April 24, 2009

cashminster 

The name given to a stumbled upon very wealthy looking village, the kind where every other house has a thatched roof and helicopters in garages are two a penny.

The kind of place where you know everyone has axminster carpets.

Wow, looks like we stumbled into cashminster - nice gaff m'lord!

cashminster by ebuygum April 22, 2009

have a jessie

An instruction to "take a look" or have a crafty peek!

also known as a jessie deek - peek

(Bill) I hear Christine has a fine pair on her

(Shane) I'll make sure to have a Jessie next time i see her

have a jessie by ebuygum April 22, 2009

uma 

preceding exclamation made to show the pain on any part of the body that you have just hurt

a mix of ooh and my = uma

After walking into table side and hurting one's manhood = uma cock!!!

uma by ebuygum April 22, 2009

shittata 

Mixture of the words shit and frittata, the spanish omelette of the same name.

Usually exclaimed during the rush to the loo - where you know that the oncoming turd will well and truly fill the pan like an omelette

Ooh man, i'm gonna have to dash - need a shittata

shittata by ebuygum April 22, 2009

bertie 

A derogaratory name for a homosexual/s usually linked to actors.

Reputed by John Sessions on an episode of QI to have come from a conversation he had with either Alec Guinness or Laurence Olivier?? with regards to a theatre company he had either worked with or was advising him (JS) to avoid.

(1) I've been offered the role of Hamlet at Sadlers wells

(2) Who with?

(1) the SDT

(2) oh they're an absolute fleet of bertie's

bertie by ebuygum April 22, 2009

just the billet 

From memory - derived at Sedbergh School Cumbria

Where billet (french for ticket) simply replaces the word ticket in the well known "just the ticket" phrase

A statement of agreement!

(Ali) Adam has got 20 odd tinnies coming in this weekend - do you want some - quid a tin?

(Ian) cool, count me in - i'll take 4

(Ali) just the billet!

just the billet by ebuygum April 22, 2009