dr. heywood r. floyd's definitions

thought-criminal

an American who isn't a neocon.

You're a traitor! You're a thought-criminal! You're a terrorist spy! I'll shoot you, I'll vaporize you, I'll send you to the salt mines!

by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 6, 2007

grottie

a girl who is gross, but a hottie. She burps, farts, scratches her butt and when she picks her nose or ears yells, "Jackpot!"

Particularly desirable as a girlfriend as she's hot... and being gross herself, she can never be disgusted with you because she is disgusting herself.

Marry her.

You hit the jackpot, brotha! You’ve got a girlfriend who can never get on your case for being disgusting because she’s even more disgusting. Sonny is gross and a hottie. She’s a Grottie!

by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd August 20, 2010

Jesum Crow!

A bastardization of the exclamation "Jesus Christ!" but less vulgar.

Jesum Crow! I dropped one of my diamonds in the macaroni!

by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 25, 2008

moistmaker

an extra slice of gravy-soaked bread inside a turkey sandwich to make it extra moist. Monica on "Friends" invented it and Ross named it. Ross got really upset one time, when his boss ate his sandwich with a moistmaker.

Ross: Oh-oh really? Did you confuse it with your own turkey sandwich with a moistmaker?

by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd December 25, 2007

Don't even go there.

Don't try that. Don't bring up that subject. You'll get nowhere with me, by trying the argumentative tactic that you just attempted.

Person #1: Hey, stop drinking my beer!

Person #2: Well, you took a nibble of my chicken diable that time.

Person #1: Don't even go there.

by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd September 28, 2008

heckuva job

You're fired! Get out!

You're doing a heckuva job Brownie!

by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 9, 2007

WE WERE ON A BREAK!

something Ross on Friends says too much. Rachel said, let's take a break, so Ross boinked Chole, the punk girl from the copy center. He and Rachel immediately made-up, but when she found out about the boinking, she was pissed.

Ross spent the next four years or so saying, "WE WERE ON A BREAK!"

She wants me to take responsibility for everything that went wrong in our relationship. I mean she goes on for five pages about, about how I was unfaithful to her! "Well...WE WERE ON A BREAK!"

by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 14, 2007