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dr. heywood r. floyd's definitions

panning for gold

UD Editor: Reject, reject, reject, reject, reject, reject, reject, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm reject, reject reject, reject, reject. HEY THERE'S ONE -- PUBLISH! Reject, reject, reject, reject...

Other Person: What are you doing?

UD Editor: Panning for gold.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 20, 2007
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Budd Dwyer

Pennsylvania state Treasurer who committed suicide on TV in 1987. He was about to be sentenced and sent to prison. He called a press conference, read his suicide note, and blew his brains out with a .357 magnum.

It was snowing that day in Harrisburg, and lots of kids were home from school. Their cartoons were interrupted by this breaking news, in all its graphic glory.

Seared lots of young minds, it did. And this was pre-internet, mind you, so they weren't used to seeing stuff.
Whoh, did you see that? That Budd Dwyer dude just blew his fucking brains out!
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd May 4, 2007
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Naira

A fake identity that the daughter of the Kuwaiti ambassador assumed in a congressional hearing in 1990, after the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait, before American intervention.

The powers that be first coached a 15-year-old Kuwaiti girl, identified only at the time as Naira, to testify before Congress that she had seen Iraqi soldiers remove Kuwaiti babies from hospital incubators. "Naira" claimed to be a refugee who had been working as a volunteer in a Kuwaiti hospital throughout the first few weeks of the Iraqi occupation. She said that she had seen them take babies out of the incubators, take the incubators, and leave the babies "on the cold floor to die."

Naira's emotional testimony riveted human rights organizations, the news media, and the nation. That incident was cited by six Members of the U.S. Senate as reasons to go to war with Iraq.

The propaganda effort worked but later the entire episode was exposed as an outright lie and the girl turned out to be the daughter of the Kuwaiti ambassador to the US. No matter that it was all just a staged stunt to sway people's opinions, it helped to pave the way for all the misery and death to follow. They gave those emotional chains a big, hard yank.

I can't prove it, but I always thought that this is what inspired the movie "Wag the Dog."
Boo hoo hoo, I can't stand the thought of those babies dying on the cold floor, like that nurse Naira told us. Those Iraqis sure are meanies. We Americans just have to do something...
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 6, 2007
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calculata

what twins Paul and Aiden wanted more than anything for Christmas.

(from an SNL sketch starring John Malkovich.)
Ma. Ma. Ma. Ma. Are we getting a calculata? I'm gonna add so many numbas.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd February 14, 2009
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Dr. Heywood R. Floyd

He was the chairman of the National Council of Astronautics in 2001. He tracked down the monolith buried on the moon and touched it, whereupon it transmitted a signal to Jupiter.
Dr. Heywood R. Floyd: Good day, gentlemen. When you see this briefing, I presume you will be nearing your destination, Saturn. I hope that you've had a pleasant and uneventful trip and that the rest of your mission continues in the same manner. I should like to fill you in on some more of the details on which Mission Commander Kaminsky will have already briefed you. Thirteen months before the launch date of your Saturn mission, on April 12th, 2001, the first evidence for intelligent life outside the Earth was discovered.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 7, 2007
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Mike Gravel

The 2008 presidential candidate with the biggest balls. Man, that guy has balls the size of his homestate (Alaska).

He has said stuff like, that the "war was lost the day that George Bush invaded Iraq on a fraudulent basis." He doesn't have his finger to the wind. He just tells the damn truth. He's like the little boy in the Emperor's New Clothes.

Gravel has a campaign video (you can find it on the internet) where he just stares into the camera for a good two minutes and then picks up a rock and throws it in a pond and just walks off.

Balls, I tell you!
Man, that Mike Gravel dude has some ginormous balls.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd July 28, 2007
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crack

a now obsolete adjective popular as a business buzzword among yuppies in the early eighties. It described a worker who was very smart and very fast-paced.

This meaning of "crack" was forced out by the drug, crack, in the mid-eighties. Sort of like you can't say "gay" to mean "happy" anymore.
That was a good move to hire him; he's crack.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd June 7, 2007
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