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dr. heywood r. floyd's definitions

Humpty Dumpty

a person who re-defines words to suit himself, rather than using words the way the dictionary defines them.

From Lewis Carroll's "Through the Looking Glass":

`When I use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, `it means just what I choose it to mean -- neither more nor less.'

`The question is,' said Alice, `whether you can make words mean so many different things.'

`The question is,' said Humpty Dumpty, `which is to be master -- that's all.'
Person 1: I'm hungry.

Person 2: You don't know the meaning of "hungry" till you've been starving like the hordes in the third world.

Person 3: Bullshit! Look it up in the dictionary, Humpty Dumpty!
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 26, 2010
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conquel

a movie or story that happens at the same time as a previously-issued movie or story. Not before -- that would be a prequel. Not after -- that would be a sequel. But THE SAME TIME -- that's a conquel.
"The Lion King 1 1/2" is a conquel of "The Lion King."
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd December 25, 2009
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grottie

a girl who is gross, but a hottie. She burps, farts, scratches her butt and when she picks her nose or ears yells, "Jackpot!"

Particularly desirable as a girlfriend as she's hot... and being gross herself, she can never be disgusted with you because she is disgusting herself.

Marry her.
You hit the jackpot, brotha! You’ve got a girlfriend who can never get on your case for being disgusting because she’s even more disgusting. Sonny is gross and a hottie. She’s a Grottie!
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd August 20, 2010
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computer worm

1) a self-replicating computer program

2) a former bookworm who read books all the time, till he got the interweb, and now spends all of his time surfing.
1) Omigod! I've got a computer worm.

2) He'll know the answer. He's a computer worm.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 5, 2007
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Naira

A fake identity that the daughter of the Kuwaiti ambassador assumed in a congressional hearing in 1990, after the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait, before American intervention.

The powers that be first coached a 15-year-old Kuwaiti girl, identified only at the time as Naira, to testify before Congress that she had seen Iraqi soldiers remove Kuwaiti babies from hospital incubators. "Naira" claimed to be a refugee who had been working as a volunteer in a Kuwaiti hospital throughout the first few weeks of the Iraqi occupation. She said that she had seen them take babies out of the incubators, take the incubators, and leave the babies "on the cold floor to die."

Naira's emotional testimony riveted human rights organizations, the news media, and the nation. That incident was cited by six Members of the U.S. Senate as reasons to go to war with Iraq.

The propaganda effort worked but later the entire episode was exposed as an outright lie and the girl turned out to be the daughter of the Kuwaiti ambassador to the US. No matter that it was all just a staged stunt to sway people's opinions, it helped to pave the way for all the misery and death to follow. They gave those emotional chains a big, hard yank.

I can't prove it, but I always thought that this is what inspired the movie "Wag the Dog."
Boo hoo hoo, I can't stand the thought of those babies dying on the cold floor, like that nurse Naira told us. Those Iraqis sure are meanies. We Americans just have to do something...
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 6, 2007
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thought-criminal

an American who isn't a neocon.
You're a traitor! You're a thought-criminal! You're a terrorist spy! I'll shoot you, I'll vaporize you, I'll send you to the salt mines!
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 6, 2007
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Dr. Heywood R. Floyd

He was the chairman of the National Council of Astronautics in 2001. He tracked down the monolith buried on the moon and touched it, whereupon it transmitted a signal to Jupiter.
Dr. Heywood R. Floyd: Good day, gentlemen. When you see this briefing, I presume you will be nearing your destination, Saturn. I hope that you've had a pleasant and uneventful trip and that the rest of your mission continues in the same manner. I should like to fill you in on some more of the details on which Mission Commander Kaminsky will have already briefed you. Thirteen months before the launch date of your Saturn mission, on April 12th, 2001, the first evidence for intelligent life outside the Earth was discovered.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 7, 2007
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