barbecue

The first thing a cashier will guess if you're buying hot dogs and buns, when really you're just a fucking bachelor.
Cashier: Having a barbecue?
Bachelor: ...no.
by Douglas Young October 11, 2007
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tmz

A celebrity news source comprised of achingly annoying paparazzi and are completely oblivious to how pathetic and boring their news is. They will disturb a celebrity so much to simply get an aggravated reaction to report on. The organization on the whole is like a car crash-- you can't look away (at least for a minute) because of how stupid they are, which is why they're still around.
(Real Example)
TMZ Reporter 1: Johnny Knoxville was at LAX with a stuffed panda bear.
TMZ Reporter 2: What was he doing with a stuffed panda bear?
TMZ Reporter 1: I dunno.
TMZ Reporter 2: THOSE CRAZY CELEBS. PRINT IT!
by Douglas Young January 04, 2008
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derpestrian

A stupid pedestrian.
- Hits the Walk Signal more than once.
- Crosses without a crosswalk at heavy traffic, usually stranding himself on an "island" for many minutes.
- Has not mastered the art of jaywalking.
- Crosses in front of a car who finally gets a break in the traffic he's been wanting to merge with.
Term can be thought of as DERR-pestrian or fake-German like "der pest-rian."
Motherfuckin derpestrian!! Crossin' however you please just 'cause you know you could sue me if I hit you. Bitch.
by Douglas Young October 26, 2007
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play it cool

To pretend you're not as anxious as you really are; usually used in terms of dating, deals, or any life-altering events.
Dude let HER call YOU, it's only been two days-- play it cool.
by Douglas Young November 27, 2007
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go tit

A common Freudian slip through the fingers during a chat session, usually made when one is thinking about sex.
Lucy: See you at 8.
Dave: You go tit.
Lucy: ...what?
Dave: Err, you goat tit.
Lucy: ...WHAT??
Dave: UHH, YOU GOT TITS. OH JESUS! WHY CAN'T I CONTROL MY FINGERS POOPERLY. OH GOD.
by Douglas Young December 24, 2007
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alpha male

1. The (male) leader of a pack, usually earned his place through instilling fear in others. The pack is usually smarter than the alpha male, but is more afraid to have him as an enemy than a friend. Through evolution, however, the original alpha male behavior is becoming different; what was once fear of the leader himself, has now become fear of whatever the alpha male considers a threat to him. Despite the rank or power the alpha male may achieve through his methods in society, it is still a primitive role to have, due to the selfish nature of his life. Rest assured, if the pack ever had the chance, they would probably remove his role from their society without hesitation.

2. The dudes that pick who they want on their shitty teams in gym class. Arch nemesis of the nerd-people.
1. President Bush is an alpha male, if you know what I mean.
2. Greg, the alpha male, picked Scott for his dodgeball team; everyone thinks it's because Scott is well-built, but really Greg is just a closet homosexual and will jerk off to a picture he has of Scott when he gets home. He will then watch Sex in the City and drink cranberry juice.
by Douglas Young September 23, 2007
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