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des lynam's love-gland's definitions

Briggsy Cockfighting

A depraved sport enjoyed by bohemian arty types. The participants strip off and stand facing each other. On the referee's word they "engage" their genitalia and commence a sickening battle of diseased phalluses. The depraved spectators roar their approval of every thrust and slap, quaffing champagne throughout the contest. The winner is determined after one hour of cockmanship by 3 judges who award points for artistry, scabbiness, and blood-drawing. The winner enjoys a golden shower from all present and gets to bugger the referee's spaniel. The sport was named after Briggsy, the world's greatest arty bender, who invented it whilst celebrating winning the Turner Prize for his sculpture of a gorilla fucking a shark to death.
I'm in the mood for more entertainment after last night's Briggsy Fishing, Cedric.

Me too, Percy. I think its time for some Briggsy Cockfighting.
by des lynam's love-gland August 4, 2009
mugGet the Briggsy Cockfightingmug.

Briggsy monger

An artist who sells his wares in markets in the manner of an East End costermonger. He sets up his stall at dawn and adopts a cockney accent. His sad attempt to fit in with the common people is often seen through and he then becomes the victim of a thorough beating.
Look at that little cunt with the paintings!

Yeah, he's a Briggsy monger for sure. Let's pummel the little fucker.
by Des Lynam's Love-Gland September 22, 2006
mugGet the Briggsy mongermug.

Grand Theft Briggsy

Name given to the current trend among arty types of shoplifting bondage equipment and dildos from sex shops. The stolen goods are then used in homemade porno films, a copy of which is sent to the manager of the shop in question.
Sex shop manager: Watch that little shit, Bertha. Looks an arty type. Probably here to commit Grand Theft Briggsy.
by Des Lynam's Love-Gland September 8, 2006
mugGet the Grand Theft Briggsymug.

Briggsy's Diversity Policy

Belief held by an individual belonging to several dozen minority groups that he should be treated as a superior being. Otherwise known as "a chip on each shoulder and three on the hunchback".
If I want to take the piss out of that ugly, disabled, blind, black lesbian with two fannies and three arseholes then I will.

Yeah, who gives a fuck about Briggsy's Diversity Policy?
by Des Lynam's Love-Gland September 22, 2006
mugGet the Briggsy's Diversity Policymug.

Briggsy's Toblerone Challenge

A popular game in the gay community. Participants "do" themselves with a succession of chocolate bars. The sequence of bars gets progressively difficult. Entrants are eliminated if they fail to insert any of the bars. The final one used is a king-size Toblerone. The game was named after its originator, who was also the first participant to complete the sequence.
Who's up for a game of Briggsy's Toblerone Challenge?

Count me out. I got trannied to within an inch of my pathetic arty life last night. One Milky Way and I'll prolapse.
by Des Lynam's Love-Gland September 8, 2006
mugGet the Briggsy's Toblerone Challengemug.

Briggsy's Chocolate Orange

A revolting dessert served up in the more depraved quarters of the homosexual community. After wining and dining his bitch, the dominant gay forces a peeled orange up the bitch's ass. After 5 minutes of ass-baking the orange is removed and eaten by the bitch. The practice was invented by prominent gay artist, Briggsy.
What's for dessert, Dominic?

You're having Briggsy's Chocolate Orange, so open wide bitch.
by Des Lynam's love-gland December 11, 2006
mugGet the Briggsy's Chocolate Orangemug.

Little Miss Briggsy

The pseudonym used by grotesque midgets when they "Tranny-up" in order to pick up rough men in gay bars.
That Little Miss Briggsy makes me sick. I've just seen him go home with two big Germans in lederhosen
by Des Lynam's Love-Gland September 5, 2006
mugGet the Little Miss Briggsymug.

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