des lynam's love-gland's definitions

Briggsy Cockfighting

A depraved sport enjoyed by bohemian arty types. The participants strip off and stand facing each other. On the referee's word they "engage" their genitalia and commence a sickening battle of diseased phalluses. The depraved spectators roar their approval of every thrust and slap, quaffing champagne throughout the contest. The winner is determined after one hour of cockmanship by 3 judges who award points for artistry, scabbiness, and blood-drawing. The winner enjoys a golden shower from all present and gets to bugger the referee's spaniel. The sport was named after Briggsy, the world's greatest arty bender, who invented it whilst celebrating winning the Turner Prize for his sculpture of a gorilla fucking a shark to death.

I'm in the mood for more entertainment after last night's Briggsy Fishing, Cedric.

Me too, Percy. I think its time for some Briggsy Cockfighting.

by des lynam's love-gland August 4, 2009

briggsysexual

Used to describe someone who has heterosexual inclinations but practices homosexuality in order to fit in with their arty friends.

Oi arty dwarf boy. I saw you gobbling that artist outside the club the other night. Didn't know you were gay.

Oh I'm not gay, I'm Briggsysexual. I only suck cocks because it makes me look oh so boho.

by Des Lynam's Love-Gland August 22, 2006

whale surfing

Metaphor for when a midget porks a humungous woman, normally in the early hours after a drinking bout at a night club.

Look at the state of Briggsy. Has he been Whale Surfing again?

by Des Lynam's Love-Gland September 5, 2006

Little Miss Briggsy

The pseudonym used by grotesque midgets when they "Tranny-up" in order to pick up rough men in gay bars.

That Little Miss Briggsy makes me sick. I've just seen him go home with two big Germans in lederhosen

by Des Lynam's Love-Gland September 5, 2006

Briggsy's Toblerone Challenge

A popular game in the gay community. Participants "do" themselves with a succession of chocolate bars. The sequence of bars gets progressively difficult. Entrants are eliminated if they fail to insert any of the bars. The final one used is a king-size Toblerone. The game was named after its originator, who was also the first participant to complete the sequence.

Who's up for a game of Briggsy's Toblerone Challenge?

Count me out. I got trannied to within an inch of my pathetic arty life last night. One Milky Way and I'll prolapse.

by Des Lynam's Love-Gland September 8, 2006

Briggsy Bonus

When a homosexual is doing his lover and then crams one or both of his testicles in as well. This is known as a Briggsy Bonus. Named after its originator who has been known to pleasure trannies in this way.

Trannie 1: I never knew what "stretched" meant until last night.

Trannie 2: So you got a Briggsy Bonus then?

Trannie 1: Yeah, by Briggsy himself.

by Des Lynam's Love-Gland September 8, 2006

Grand Theft Briggsy

Name given to the current trend among arty types of shoplifting bondage equipment and dildos from sex shops. The stolen goods are then used in homemade porno films, a copy of which is sent to the manager of the shop in question.

Sex shop manager: Watch that little shit, Bertha. Looks an arty type. Probably here to commit Grand Theft Briggsy.

by Des Lynam's Love-Gland September 8, 2006