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Definitions by clem

Ireland is at the western-most edge of Europe, and a rather wonderful edge it is. Its people, along with the Americans and Asians have salvaged the English language as an artistic force. Unfortunately Ireland harbours a peculier condition whereby everything North American, regardless of its stupidity, is considered exceptionally 'grand'.

Coupled with this Ireland has a tendency for its less educated, yet more vocal 10% of the population to bleat nonsense about 'Black and Tans' and generally deride the English, this is regardless of the fact that during WW2, the joint would have become Hitler's private golfing resort without them.

It is a site of:

Unmatched art and culture

Willful ignorance, hypocricy and begrudgery

A technically perfect quasi-socialist Government

High rural suicide rates

Inflatable tri-colour hammers

Heaney

Yeats

Shaw

Friel

Bogs

Casual racism

Cultural openness

Challenging, maddening, gorgeous women

Rampant alcoholism

Men with square heads

Ginger children

People called Seamus

Passports with harps on them

Crap roads

Introspection

Bosco the puppet

Stereotypically superior potatos
Ireland generally is confused, self-contradictory, flawed and possibly the most honestly human place on Earth because of it. Thank fuck for that...
ireland by Clem December 28, 2005

turner syndrome 

when sum1 does not go through puberty
turner syndrome by clem May 13, 2005

LondonMet 

"Hip" abbreviation of "London Metropolitan University" recently adopted under its new image change drive. A byword for crippling bureaucracy as well as a focal point for no talent 'Meeja' student wannabes with Ipods and ironic t-shirts talking crap about Marxism while playing with their greasy ponytails.
I tried to take a crap at LondonMet but had to fill this form out in triplicate and get it stamped by Jesus. I should expect my toilet validation smartcard in 6 to eight weeks, at least thats what the guy with the crap ponytail in a Magic Roundabout t-shirt said while trying to get me to buy a copy of "The Socialist Worker"...
LondonMet by Clem February 23, 2005
The manifest divine wrath of a vengefull God in punishment for screwing.
God: Thou shalt button up thine fly or I shall become wroth with thee!

Guy: Uhhh, nay(?)

<KAZAMM>

Child: Wah, scream, crap, cash drain etc...

Guy: Oh crud

God: I told thee...

Chick: Wheres my 75% share of your salary?

Guy: Oh crud

God: DONT say I didnt tell thee...
Child by Clem February 21, 2005

bare-tastic 

a word taken from bare (lots of very) and fantastic, just another wa to say "cool"
durr and melc are bare-tastic!
bare-tastic by clem February 17, 2005

Cuntivore 

An individual so singularly dedicated to pussy ingestion that pussy becomes the main component of said individuals diet...
That Martin is such a cuntivore, last time he sneezed a tampon was blasted from his left nostril travelling almost 40 yards at speeds approaching 74 mph..
Cuntivore by Clem February 12, 2005

Firglesnap 

Referring to any object of food
I got the fucking munchies. I need some firglesnap
Firglesnap by Clem November 13, 2003