cockjunctivitus

An embarrassing medical issue that occurs when the sight of a stunning looking lady on the beach, or elsewhere similar, can cause a dribble of discharge from your third eye, much like the irritating eye condition.
Look at Keith's speedos, theres a sticky damp patch on the front of them caused by all these bikini-clad honeyz at the pool today. He must suffer badly from cockjunctivitus.
by cheffykins December 30, 2011
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Tater-slappin’

The noise made by the balls or “taters” banging against the dirt box during doggy style or anal sex.
Jesus man don’t hassle me, I wasn’t smacking Jennifer around in there, what you heard was pure tater-slappin’ in the height of passion!!
by cheffykins March 31, 2020
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Coronaloner

A person that has enjoyed quarantine so much, that they intend to stay solitary through choice after the event has passed.
Jesus, I never realised just what a bunch of assholes I used to spend my time with pre-covid, fuck that shit, I’m gonna become a coronaloner when this is all over.
by cheffykins March 31, 2020
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Mammoths hoof

A more senior, and generally larger scale version of a camels toe. Looks more like piano wire garotting an ardvarks rear. More prevalent in older ladies that "were once hot, but now are not"
Your wife needs to get a new swimsuit mate, that one shes got on may have fit her 20 years ago but now it just shows her "Mammoths hoof" its so tight!!! Its not a good look.......
by cheffykins December 20, 2010
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Palace guard

A tampon, whose lodged presence is unbeknown to you in the heat of passion, preventing any entry to Fuckingham Palace......
Things got dirty with Janice the other night after Cinderella Rockafellers, was just about to pop my finger in and was thwarted by a "Palace Guard"....If I'd have known at the start of the night I wouldnt have spent all my cash on WKD!
by cheffykins April 23, 2011
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Amster-dick

The semi that men get from the anticipation of an upcoming trip to the worlds most liberated city.
Alan "can't wait for Phil's stag weekend in the Dam, gonna get smoked out and taters deep into those ladies in the windows"
Theo "I make you right, I've had Amster-dick every day for the past week, been cracking one off every morning just thinking about it"
by cheffykins May 03, 2019
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Bland on Blond

Watching girl on girl action, but with one of the aforementioned ladies much less attractive than the other
I went to Keiths the other night as he had some new lezzie films, in this one film this stunning blond bird was scissoring off with a double edged crystal wand with this right minger - it was a typical case of "Bland on Blond
by cheffykins August 08, 2010
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