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cheffykins's definitions

Palace guard

A tampon, whose lodged presence is unbeknown to you in the heat of passion, preventing any entry to Fuckingham Palace......
Things got dirty with Janice the other night after Cinderella Rockafellers, was just about to pop my finger in and was thwarted by a "Palace Guard"....If I'd have known at the start of the night I wouldnt have spent all my cash on WKD!
by cheffykins April 23, 2011
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Bitches Brew

A nasty cocktail or cheap promotional beverage purchased by nightclub loving females, that has the effect of making them want to scratch each others fucking eyes out......
These 2 girls at Cinderella Rockafellers the other night were tearing fucking great clumps out of each other over some bloke, must've been on the old "Bitches Brew" all night.....
by cheffykins December 20, 2010
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Cock pool

A pool of hot man-batter left in a ladies belly button after emptying out over her stomach, similar to a "rock-pool" left on a beach when the tide has gone out
I was absolutely busting the other night, by the time I had finished banging the snatch out of Vera I left a deep cock pool
by cheffykins January 8, 2012
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Cuntmongery

A piece of silverware (or similar) often a piercing, used to garnish the female pleasure palace to make it look more appetizing.
She had a rough old snatch, but the shiny cuntmongery she was wearing made it look less like a torn piece of liver
by cheffykins August 7, 2010
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Gammon Guitar

A moist pink instrument, with the texture of pork, but salty tasting and firm to touch.
That Jane was in the bathroom for at least an hour the other night, stuck my ear to the door to see if she was ok and it sounded like she was strumming a tune on the old gammon guitar
by cheffykins January 2, 2012
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Bland on Blond

Watching girl on girl action, but with one of the aforementioned ladies much less attractive than the other
I went to Keiths the other night as he had some new lezzie films, in this one film this stunning blond bird was scissoring off with a double edged crystal wand with this right minger - it was a typical case of "Bland on Blond
by cheffykins August 8, 2010
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Gruntsplatter

The simultaneous act of rubbing out a huge load, whilst exhaling deeply and letting out a loud groan of satisfaction
Jesus, Jennifer wound me up last night and wouldn’t let me have any so when I got back to my place I had to sort myself out, the gruntsplatter could be heard all through the neighbourhood!
by cheffykins March 31, 2020
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