Cuntmongery

A piece of silverware (or similar) often a piercing, used to garnish the female pleasure palace to make it look more appetizing.
She had a rough old snatch, but the shiny cuntmongery she was wearing made it look less like a torn piece of liver
by cheffykins August 07, 2010
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Gammon Guitar

A moist pink instrument, with the texture of pork, but salty tasting and firm to touch.
That Jane was in the bathroom for at least an hour the other night, stuck my ear to the door to see if she was ok and it sounded like she was strumming a tune on the old gammon guitar
by cheffykins January 02, 2012
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Mammoths hoof

A more senior, and generally larger scale version of a camels toe. Looks more like piano wire garotting an ardvarks rear. More prevalent in older ladies that "were once hot, but now are not"
Your wife needs to get a new swimsuit mate, that one shes got on may have fit her 20 years ago but now it just shows her "Mammoths hoof" its so tight!!! Its not a good look.......
by cheffykins December 20, 2010
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Coronaloner

A person that has enjoyed quarantine so much, that they intend to stay solitary through choice after the event has passed.
Jesus, I never realised just what a bunch of assholes I used to spend my time with pre-covid, fuck that shit, I’m gonna become a coronaloner when this is all over.
by cheffykins March 31, 2020
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cocoa channel

The arsehole of a posh bird, an apt wordplay on the sophisticated designer Coco Chanel, of haute couture fame
I finally got Daphne to come back to my place the other night, once I got inside her fur coat and mink knickers it wasnt long before I was knacker-deep in her cocoa channel.
by cheffykins January 02, 2012
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cockjunctivitus

An embarrassing medical issue that occurs when the sight of a stunning looking lady on the beach, or elsewhere similar, can cause a dribble of discharge from your third eye, much like the irritating eye condition.
Look at Keith's speedos, theres a sticky damp patch on the front of them caused by all these bikini-clad honeyz at the pool today. He must suffer badly from cockjunctivitus.
by cheffykins December 26, 2011
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Bland on Blond

Watching girl on girl action, but with one of the aforementioned ladies much less attractive than the other
I went to Keiths the other night as he had some new lezzie films, in this one film this stunning blond bird was scissoring off with a double edged crystal wand with this right minger - it was a typical case of "Bland on Blond
by cheffykins August 08, 2010
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