cheffykins's definitions

Palace guard

A tampon, whose lodged presence is unbeknown to you in the heat of passion, preventing any entry to Fuckingham Palace......

Things got dirty with Janice the other night after Cinderella Rockafellers, was just about to pop my finger in and was thwarted by a "Palace Guard"....If I'd have known at the start of the night I wouldnt have spent all my cash on WKD!

by cheffykins April 23, 2011

cocoa channel

The arsehole of a posh bird, an apt wordplay on the sophisticated designer Coco Chanel, of haute couture fame

I finally got Daphne to come back to my place the other night, once I got inside her fur coat and mink knickers it wasnt long before I was knacker-deep in her cocoa channel.

by cheffykins January 2, 2012

The "Aubergine twins"

A pair of long and droopy, highly polished and tanned titties, usually found on holidaying women of the over 50's age group

We went to St Tropez this year, and on all the beaches the "Aubergine twins" were out in force

by cheffykins August 8, 2010

cockjunctivitus

An embarrassing medical issue that occurs when the sight of a stunning looking lady on the beach, or elsewhere similar, can cause a dribble of discharge from your third eye, much like the irritating eye condition.

Look at Keith's speedos, theres a sticky damp patch on the front of them caused by all these bikini-clad honeyz at the pool today. He must suffer badly from cockjunctivitus.

by cheffykins December 30, 2011

Gammon Guitar

A moist pink instrument, with the texture of pork, but salty tasting and firm to touch.

That Jane was in the bathroom for at least an hour the other night, stuck my ear to the door to see if she was ok and it sounded like she was strumming a tune on the old gammon guitar

by cheffykins January 2, 2012

Bland on Blond

Watching girl on girl action, but with one of the aforementioned ladies much less attractive than the other

I went to Keiths the other night as he had some new lezzie films, in this one film this stunning blond bird was scissoring off with a double edged crystal wand with this right minger - it was a typical case of "Bland on Blond

by cheffykins August 8, 2010

Vietnam-Vet

An old, grizzled, wounded and war-torn snatch that has seen a lot of action and looks traumatised by conflict.....

That Cougar that I copped off with at Cinderella Rockefellers the other night was older than I thought, she had a real "Vietnam-Vet" down there.......I should've called a medic

by cheffykins April 23, 2011